That’s Church released a statement from the families of the women running the orphanage in Haiti – one women and the children are safely back in Pittsburgh with the other woman soon to follow.  Thank you to everyone who got involved – even if just through spreading the word and praying.

Social media has been furiously working on getting the BRESMA children to the states.  I was amazed that every time I looked today there were new developments being reports.  I sadly have no political or wealthy contacts to offer so I offer my personal connection with all of you.  Currently, they are trying to reach out to the families who are adopting from BRESMA. Do you know anyone?  Or know anyone who knows someone?  I posted this on the Haiti board at adoption.com as well as a couple of Haitian adoption blogs and facebook.  But if you can think of other places, spread the word.  We adoption bloggers are a community so we should be able to help them find these folks – they need information from them quickly.

Visit the main link for That’s Church for the latest – the above link will take you to the  post about wanting to reach adopting families.

Most of my readers are fellow adoptive parents.  You all remember that helpless feeling when something happened in Guatemala (or whatever country you adopted from)?  The earthquake near Guatemala City?  The hogar raided?  The birthmoms who were terrorized for giving up their babies?  We were besides ourselves because these babies, our children, were beyond the scope of our arms.  We couldn’t make sure they were safe.  We couldn’t protect them.

Now imagine you are in the process of adopting from Haiti.  Made your heart stop for a second didn’t it?  I’m sure there are millions of heart breaking stories about amazing individuals who need assistance in the aftermath of the earthquakes.  I can’t imagine the need.  But there is a specific situation that has been given a face (figuratively) for me.  My heart is breaking.  Go read about it at That’s Church (formerly PittGirl). The American women running that orphanage need help.  They need a private plane to get them and the babies (who have adoptive parents here waiting for them) out.  Without help, the babies will not survive.  Can you help?

Update: My understanding is now they might be able to physically get the children out, but they need some powerful political strings pulled to grant these children refugee status until their adoptions can be finalized.  Any political strings out there that you can pull?  I can’t bear that red tape is the cause of these children not surviving the aftermath of this earthquake.

Update #2: Members of Congress have become aware of the situation and are working with the White House to find a solution.  @JanePitt said on twitter that CNN was made aware and their crew on the ground in Haiti was checking on the women and children to make sure their immediate needs were met – she also said lots of important people were getting involved.  It seems that social media does have use and value when used for good.  Let’s hope there is a resolution quickly.

And if you are interested, there is a Facebook page for the cause with almost a thousand members.

There is a blog carnival going on at Grown in My Heart for bloggers to discuss what no one told them about adoption and then link up.  I’m fascinated reading these posts!  I thought I would add my own list.

1. I didn’t truly understand that my greatest joy was rooted in another woman’s greatest pain.  In order for Sabrina to become ours, another woman had to give her up.  Sabrina had to lose her birth family and cultural identity.  So much loss for our incredible gain.
2. That I would quickly stop fearing and jealously regarding Sabrina’s birth mom and foster mom and instead begin loving, respecting, and aching for them.  I so wish I could share this beautiful, joyous little girl with her first mom and her foster mom who loved her for the first 7 months of her life.  I think of them so often and wish they could be part of our family in more than just spirit.
3. That attachment was a process for all of us.  Someone probably did tell me this but I didn’t hear it.  I thought we were already in love with that photo and that little girl we spent a week with a couple of times.  But when I picked her up and lived in Antigua with her, it was a few weeks before I stopped feeling like her babysitter and started feeling like her mom.
4. That adoption would bring so many amazing people into my life aside from our daughter.  I’ve had the good fortune to meet so many of you in person.  I told someone once we were all like war buddies – we might not have anything else in common but our time in the adoption trenches forms a strong bond that few others understand.
5. That 3 years later I would fear my top notch, beyond reproach, ethical adoption agency wasn’t any of those things despite the premium price tag for their services to ensure everything was above board.  What if it wasn’t?
6. That I would get so tired of educating random people who seem to think it is okay to ask (in front of my cognizant child) “where did you get her?” “how much did you pay for her?” “couldn’t you have your own?”
7. That I would still be so happy to share our adoption story with random strangers who seemed to be genuinely interested or who just want to swap stories about their cousin Mabel who adopted or was adopted or has a secretary that wants to adopt.
8. That I would reach a point of almost feeling angry when someone says Sabrina is lucky or we did such a good/charitable/Godly thing by adopting her.  We didn’t save her.  We adopted for selfish reasons not altruistic ones.  We wanted a family.
9. That some times other adoptive parents would be the most guilty of this and want others to see them as having “saved” a child.
10. That I would feel myself held to a higher parenting standard in public because my daughter is obviously adopted.  I feel like I can’t have a bad mommy day publicly because people will judge that differently than if I had one with Tessa.
11. That I would come to love her so fiercely that when I found out I was pregnant, I would worry that I couldn’t possibly love another child as much as I already loved Sabrina.
12. That I would feel twice (thrice?) the bittersweet joy and touch of sadness with every milestone Sabrina achieves because I feel like I am celebrating it for 3 women: myself, her birth mom, and her foster mom.  I will never forget that I am the lucky one in that trio.
13. That I should have learned more Spanish more quickly so that I could have had a conversation with Sabrina’s foster mom without the agency person in the middle – I am almost positive she wasn’t translating so much as telling us what she wanted us to hear.
14. That I could have not one single regret about our specific adoption (because how could I regret anything that brought this amazing girl to me?) but still have many worries and doubts about the circumstances that lead to adoption situations in general.
15. That when I brought my daughter home to the US, I would be leaving a piece of my heart behind in Guatemala.
16. That I would continue to worry that no matter what we do, Sabrina will grow up feeling a tremendous loss because she was adopted.
17. That my husband and I would look at each other almost every single day and ask each other how we got so lucky as to have 2 such amazing, funny, bright, beautiful children.

If you’ve been around the adoption blogosphere awhile, you may remember the woman who had both a biological and an adopted child then announced on her blog that her love for them was different.  If her biological child needed a kidney she wouldn’t think twice but that it just wasn’t the same with her adopted child.  Most of the adoption world was angered by this – my husband was enraged.  Now and then, as we sit and marvel at our beautiful Sabrina, he asks if I remember that.  I never thought I would be in a position to have a biological and an adopted child and be able to unequivocally say she was full of shit – but I do and can.  However, this has gotten the wheels in my brain turning.

I love my children with a ferocity that takes my breath away some days.  I love them equally but I love them differently.  I believe this is largely due to their differences as little people and not due to adoption or biology but those things can’t be completely taken out of the equation because it is part of who they are.

I loved the idea of Sabrina before she was born.  I loved her photo when we received her referral.  I loved her cute chubby self when we went to visit.  I fell in love with her when I lived in Guatemala with her.  It wasn’t easy and it was a process – but I became her mom.  I love Sabrina’s joy and her smile.  I love watching her learn new things – she is quite smart.  I love that she giggles over everything.  I love that she charms every person who comes into contact with her.  I love that she has sympathy for real and imagined “owies”.  And I love that she is my walking sunshine – even when she is being obstinate.  She is a beautiful child inside and out.  I also hold her a little tighter when I say good night because I know there is a woman in Guatemala living with a hole in her heart because she wanted to give this amazing child a different path in life.  (Please, not better – different.  It bothers me to hear adoptive parents or strangers assume that we are giving our adopted children a better life.  Who is to say it is better?  It is simply different.)  I want to love Sabrina enough for both of her mothers.

When I found out I was pregnant with Tessa, I was angry.  Angry because I was sure it meant yet another miscarriage and I didn’t want to go through that again.  As the days and then weeks passed, I was still pregnant.  Outwardly, I remained pessimistic but inside the hope was blooming.  Until the day she was born, there was a piece of me that was convinced something horrible was going to happen.  Then she was here and she was perfect.  I wasn’t prepared for the hormone driven tsunami of love and worry that immediately rushed over me.  Even when she made me weep out of exhaustion and frustration, I was overwhelmed by my love for her.  Tessa is very sweet and funny.  She makes the best faces and she makes me laugh every day.  She is smart and beautiful and mischievous.   She is going to be the one giving me gray hairs as she gets older and tests her limits and boundaries.  She is stubborn and becoming more of a giggler every day.  While her sister only has eyes for daddy, Tessa remains a momma’s girl.  She isn’t a big cuddler anymore but when she does snuggle up, I cherish those moments.  I am a little sad as she achieves each milestone because it takes her further from that baby that snuggled under my chin.

I love both of them with all of my heart but yes I love them in different ways for different reasons.

I’ll call this part 1 and  pick this subject up again next week.

Two years ago today, we were on a jet plane making our way back home from our Guatemalan adventures.  I’m never sure what day we should call our official Family Day.  April 12th is the day we picked Sabrina up and I moved to Antigua with her.  She never left our custody again after that day.  Or June 1st which is the day she became our daughter legally.  Or June 5th the day she stepped onto US soil, became a citizen, and truly came home.  In my head, I mark each anniversary.  Externally, we don’t do anything to mark the occasion other than tell Sabrina the story of what happened that day and why it is significant.

The picnic in May was a lot of fun so we are on for October!

October 25, 2008
2pm – 6pm
River Park, Concord Rd, Brentwood, TN
Bring a covered dish, plates and utensils for your family

Feel free to bring balls or bubbles or other amusements for the kids.  Or not!

All adoptive families are welcome.  We had originally talked about the weekend before for the picnic but I couldn’t find a park shelter available for reservation that date and I ended up having another commitment that date.  I can’t wait to see everyone from the previous picnic and hope to meet some new families too!

It looks like Tricia is giving away one of the shirts from Pilarina’s Boutique.  Go check it out if you are interested!

One year ago today, we were traveling home with our daughter Sabrina.  We spent the day on planes and in airports.

I remember feeling overwhelmed with emotion both when our plane left Guatemalan soil as well when we touched down on U.S. soil.  By the time we reached home, I thought I was too tired to feel much else and then I saw this banner (“Welcome Home, Sabrina and Mommy”) hanging in my foyer:

And the next morning, I woke up and saw this:

My little family fast asleep in our own home (okay we didn’t really live there any more but we still paid the mortgage every month and most of our stuff was still there).

I can’t believe it has been a year and that it has only been a year.  I can’t imagine our lives without Sabrina.  I’m one blessed momma.

Farrah is working on adopting a little one from Thailand.  She is selling some darling clothes at this site (including raffling off a cute outfit every Monday) – so check that out if you are interested.  She is also putting together a cookbook as a fundraiser.  She has asked if anyone out there in blog land has any yummy recipes to contribute.  Send recipes to:  adoptingmom29 at yahoo dot com (removing the spaces and at = @ dot = .)   Thanks!