When Steve is home, all of the attention is on him.  The girls and the dog are beside themselves trying to get attention first.  He is so good about immediately engaging with the girls – it allows me to disengage a little and start dinner.  They don’t leave him alone until he puts them to bed.  I can’t imagine a better partner in parenting.

I have been neglectful in thanking all of our friends for the lovely gifts and well wishes we have received. I took my box of thank you notes with me to the hospital but they never left my over night bag…and truth be told still haven’t. I want to at least say thank you here until I get around to writing real thank yous. Have I mentioned I am incredibly tired because of this cute face?

Because that is my excuse for just about everything these days. But I’m still receiving sweet surprises in the mail. Today I received this beautiful box from Priscilla (how inadequate do I feel that I can’t even mail out thank yous and she manages to send gifts that look this pretty?):

This package arrived from my local friend Julie while I was in the hospital:

Thanks Julie!

And is this not one of the cutest sights ever? From Alleen:

Here are the contents of Priscilla’s box (I’m too tired to even get the photos in order LOL):

The girls will look so sweet!

And:

Thanks P! You are awesome!

And from Melanie:

And huge thanks for the other thing too!

Samantha sent this completely adorable and oh so comfy looking outfit (do they make this in mommy sizes?):

And my cousin Vanessa who is living in London with her husband and 2 children AND is pregnant sent us this sweet dress and toy along with a box loaded with fabulous hand me downs (and a book from her parents that isn’t pictured because Sabrina has squirreled it away already):

Thanks for thinking of us!

Steph sent this sweet outfit and a video for Sabrina:

Carla and E sent Sabrina this darling Big Sister shirt:

And today on my doorstep, I found these great books from (TN)Kerry. Sabrina loves books so I have already read her 2 of them while feeding Tessa this afternoon.

Steve’s mom also brought some gifts from some folks at the family company (thanks – love the cute little pink rosebuds!) and his team at work gave us some incredibly generous gift cards (thanks TMC!).

I am positive that I have forgotten several people. It isn’t because I wasn’t aware or didn’t appreciate the gift. It is more likely because I thought I already thanked you or because it is temporarily lost in the sleepy haze that envelopes my days right now. I have been overwhelmed with all of the love sent our way during this joyous time. Thanks to you all – the wonderful thoughts and wishes mean as much as the boxes of goodies.

Top 10 best things about not being pregnant anymore

10. Bending at the waist! You don’t understand until you lose the ability. I no longer cry a little when I drop the soap in the shower. I can clip and paint my toenails with ease. And if I felt alert enough to trust myself to put a sharp object to my skin, I could shave easily too.

9. The hope that some day I will again be able to wear cute shoes and pants without elastic.

8. Not having to pee twice each hour. Sometimes I hold it now just because I can.

7. I may not get a lot of sleep but between feedings, I can lose consciousness sleep without pain and turn over without thought and planning. And? I can sleep on my stomach if I want.

6. Booze. In theory at least, I can have a drink again. I haven’t but I will one of these days. If I can stay awake. And sushi is on that list too.

5. People have stopped telling me their terrifying birth stories. Why do women feel compelled to tell the most horrific birth stories they’ve ever experienced or heard when they encounter a pregnant woman?

4. Coffee. With caffeine. ‘Nuff said. (Oh hush…it’s only 1 cup a day and I’m not giving it up again so quit your nagging internet.)

3. No one expects much from me at this point. I have a newborn and a 2 year old so people cut me a lot of slack. Lower expectations mean that I can often exceed expectations with little effort (look! She showered and fed herself and doesn’t have any spit up on her shirt – wow, she has it all together!).

2. Not one person has gone spelunking in my uterus since I left the hospital.

1. Boobs – I have them. Who knew? The rest of me may look like crap but my boobs look pretty darn good. I like to think they distract people from noticing my scary dark circles under my eyes. It is a shame I can’t keep them but I know they are loaners.

First off – wow. Bowled over by all of the bloggy land love. Thank you all so much for cheering me on during and welcoming Tessa after. I’ve had several real life people express awe at all of you being here for this wonderful occasion. Being so far from most of our friends and family it was wonderful having a virtual waiting room full of all of you waiting for news.

Now for what you came for – details and photos.

My doctor broke my water at 7 am yesterday. The nurse said she never gets to use words like “copious amounts” in her notes but breaking my water qualified. It was rather amazing and a bit painful. About an hour later, I was sitting on the bed talking to Steve and there was another geyser – water running off both sides of the bed and flooding puddling on the floor. The nurse came in and said I now officially had the most water in my that she had ever seen in her years of nursing. (Heh…that doesn’t even count what I’m still holding on to in my legs and ankles.) I couldn’t stop laughing and imagining it happening at the grocery store “Clean up on aisle 5″. I was having regular contractions so they decided to hold off on the pitocin (no idea if that is the correct spelling – it is the med that helps jump start labor). Around noon, the pain was getting worse and they want to start pitocin so I received my epidural. I was stoned off my ass for the next 4 hours. Didn’t feel a single contraction from then on. Epidurals rock.

I hit 4 cm at 4 pm. My doctor said she was starting the active labor clock then and she wanted to see some progress in the coming hours or we would have to make some decisions. At 8 pm, I was still stuck at 4cm. Steve went out to get himself something to eat while I tried not to growl at him since it had been 24 hours since I was allowed anything but ice chips. He had barely left the hospital when I was informed we were heading down for a c-section. I freaked out until they tracked him down. We all headed for the operating room. I was a little freaked by it all happening so fast (the c-section, obviously not the labor). I didn’t enjoy the c-section experience. It didn’t hurt exactly but wasn’t comfortable either. Knowing they are tugging out your innards while rocking you around on the table is rather disconcerting. Tessa didn’t want to come out but they eventually managed to get her free and clean her up. Steve and I immediately started crying when we heard her cry.

She is beautiful and perfect. She has been wonderful so far. I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night but that was more my fault than hers. I catnapped while she slept on my chest and fed every few hours. I will admit to some trepidation that I couldn’t possibly love another child as much as I love Sabrina but I quickly fell in love with Tessa. I am completely enchanted by her. It is different from our first days with Sabrina but no more or less amazing.

As for me, I was shocked by the amount of pain immediately following the c-section. And I continued to be shocked by the pain through the night and this morning. They still didn’t give me the okay for food this morning and I started getting very sick to my stomach. I told the nurse that I was going to be sick if they didn’t feed me so they brought me broth. Didn’t help. They gave me percocet and 2 saltines. When the lactation consultant came to see me at 11am this morning and found me unable to pay attention to her and in tears, she immediately rounded me up some food. Too late, the pain killers were too far ahead of the food and I ended up tossing my cookies. I felt horrible for hours but once the pain killers got out of my system, my day started looking up considerably. I still have some pain at my incision site, but nothing I can’t handle. I’m moving slowly but I’ve showered and been moving around a good bit as the day has moved on.

We are both enchanted with our beautiful girls.  Many of you have asked what Sabrina thinks.  Unfortunately, she was here during my not-so-lucid period today so I wasn’t able to interact much.  She said baby and hi and wasn’t amused that mommy didn’t pick her up.  Otherwise, no real reaction from her that I noticed.  Abuela has been keeping her happy at home.  Steve and I both miss Sabrina a lot so he went home to stay there tonight.  We look forward to us all being under one roof.

Please welcome Tessa Catherina to this wonderful world. Tessa and mom are busy right now learning to to breast feed, so the proud dad is making this post.

Born at 8:52 PM CST. 6 pounds and 12.8 ounces, and 20 inches. Here she is about 5 minutes after greeting mom and dad for the first time.

Steve here posting on behalf of Michelle at her request.

She’s heavily medicated at this point and is barely able to form coherent sentences, let alone control her fingers enough to actually type out a full blog post.  However, she’s comfortable, in no pain at all, contractions are coming along nicely and she’s slowly dilating to delivery readiness.

As I finish this, Michelle has requested that I provide this quote: “Duuuuude”.

Well, that was fun *please note sarcasm*.  Why is the getting knocked up part fun but getting un-knocked up not so much fun?  I spent the night with the medicine on my cervix have having painful contractions.  They gave me an Ambien to help me sleep so I was able to grab a couple of cat naps when my contractions settled down.  This morning they checked me still only 1 cm despite the pain.  But my cervix softened and I am contracting pretty regularly on my own.  They broke my water this morning (okay that wasn’t pleasant) and are letting me contract on my own for the moment (meaning sans pitocin medicine).

At this point, things hurt but are bearable.  We’ll see what happens as the day progresses.

I have been trying to imagine what it will be like to finally see Tessa’s face. But even more than that, I’ve been trying to imagine watching Steve seeing Tessa’s face. Those thoughts bring joy but also have lead to the sudden realization that I am suddenly going to have to share Tessa. She has been all mine for all of this time. Only I can speak to her activity level or guess at her mood. I am the only one with a concrete connection to her. But soon, I have to share her with the world. I’m having mixed feelings about that. I like her being all mine but I also can’t wait to share her with Steve.

With Sabrina it was different. We had photos and couldn’t wait to show them off. Then we had stories from our visits and couldn’t wait for everyone to meet her and love her as much as we did. I had a few mixed feelings about sharing her after I fostered for 2 months but it was so much work being a single mom during that time that mostly I was thankful and excited to share the workload. Yes, it was hard letting Steve take over the dinner and bedtime routines that I had developed with her but at the same time it meant that I could sit down and relax.  It also meant I had someone to share the wonderful moments of watching our daughter laugh or sleep or make silly faces.

And speaking of Sabrina and sharing, I am feeling a little sad that it won’t be just her and me anymore.  She has been my side kick, my buddy, my constant companion for over a year now.  I am sad that our relationship will inevitably change as a result of it becoming a threesome.  I know change is often a positive thing – I just fear losing some of our bond and our closeness.

None of this makes me any less excited to not be pregnant any more to meet Tessa.  And none of this makes me feel any less blessed to find myself having our second daughter soon and contemplating what a second child means to our family.  A “dilemma” I wasn’t sure we would ever have the joy of facing.  Just the rambling thoughts of a hormonal mind.

I saw my doctor again today and had another ultrasound.  All is okay.  Blood pressure was okay.  I am 1cm dilated but the doctor seems to think I will make it until the 29th.  My amniotic fluid is a bit high but she didn’t seem concerned by that.

I haven’t been feeling so great the last couple of days.  No new complaints (tired, achy, retaining enough water to irrigate the crops of a 3rd world desert village) – just a general malaise.  (One of the nurses today commented that I looked tired.  I laughed at her and told her I haven’t had a good night sleep in 3+ months but thanks for pointing that out.)  I am guessing this is the wall that all pregnant women seem to hit at some point – the one where labor and delivery stops sounding scary and starts sounding like a relief.  My doctor says the high amniotic fluid is probably part of the reason for my not feeling so great. I think it is just a combo of being 9 1/2 months pregnant and almost 36 years old.  But, I tell myself how blessed we are to be at this point and remind myself it is only 12 more days.

Some one asked about plans for Sabrina during Tessa’s arrival.  Assuming things stay on schedule, Abuela is excited to come and spend some time with Sabrina so Steve and I can focus on Tessa’s arrival.  If things don’t stay on schedule, there is no plan B so let’s not go there.

Stage 1: Excitement

In this stage, the pregnant person in question (from here on out referred to as the preggo) makes a trip to a maternity store with her mom or BFF to strap on the fake belly and try on maternity wear. Though giggling and having fun, she doesn’t really believe that she will ever require that much fabric to cover her ass belly. She buys a few things and secretly tries them on at home every weekend while stuffing a pillow under her shirt, marveling at the sheer volume of fabric.

Stage 2: Denial

While there is some excitement to wear some of the new maternity wear for some outward manifestation of all that is happening inside of the preggo, there is a prideful streak demanding that she must continue to wear her regular clothes for as long as possible. It doesn’t matter that the moment she steps in the house, she changes into sweatpants and a big t-shirt because she can’t breath anymore in her regular clothes – the point is that she can still fit into her jeans.

Stage 3: Grudging acceptance

Finally, the need for comfort overrides vanity. Either fat clothes or small maternity clothes start making it into the wardrobe rotation. The preggo will often grab the excess fabric and tell her husband how ridiculous she looks but that nothing else is comfortable anymore. Despite some annoyance over her less than fashionable feeling, the preggo is loving the elastic waistbands that allow her to breath again! She will spend time each day struggling to come up with a comfortable and still somewhat stylish wardrobe choice. She worries that people will think she is fat rather than pregnant.

Stage 4: Surprise

Suddenly, the preggo realizes that the maternity clothes don’t look quite so ridiculous anymore. Did that bump appear overnight? It wasn’t there yesterday! The preggo is proud to show off her bump now that it is more obvious her new girth wasn’t just a result of too many pasta with cream sauce dinners. The maternity wear fits pretty well during this stage and the preggo works to continue to feel pretty while pregnant.

Stage 5: Disbelief

One day the preggo realizes that those shirts she used to think were ridiculously big are getting a little snug. How is that possible? Did they shrink in the dryer? Last week, they fit just fine. The preggo can’t believe that she could be outgrowing her maternity wear.

Stage 6: Anger

The preggo’s maternity wardrobe keeps shrinking as she finds more items that no longer fit her very pregnant self. She is on the fence about adding some additional pieces or just muddling through the next 2 months because she doesn’t want to buy anymore maternity wear. She is secretly convinced that she can’t possibly get any larger at this point because there is no room in her abdomen left for growth. At this point, fashion has gone out the window as has comfort (because comfort is only found in clothing items the preggo wouldn’t wear outside of the house). The preggo is looking for items that fit and things that sort of match.

Stage 7: Apathy

This stage is characterized by the maternity wardrobe consisting of 3 bottoms and 2 tops that fit reasonably well. The preggo’s criteria for getting dressed each day is does it cover the belly completely (she wonders when all of her shirts got so short)? If yes, does it at least not clash horribly? If so, the preggo wears it. There is no thought to fashion or even looking good. It is all about covering the enormous belly and getting through the day.