Does anyone else find herself having conversations (in real life) and saying “Someone was just telling me about…” then as you talking about it you realize it wasn’t really a conversation, you read it on a blog? You then are faced with either pretending you can’t remember who told you that story or tidbit of info or owning up to the fact it was a blog friend? If the person is a non-blogger, I feel like such a tool when that happens. With my husband I don’t really think about it. I find myself starting many conversations with him “One of my blog friends…”. I wonder if he thinks it is a little sad that most of my friends live inside my computer?

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And my husband?  He totally rocks.  He has been busting his ass all week so that I don’t have to do any lifting – heavy or otherwise.  I pack boxes and leave them where they lie.   He comes home from work and stacks them and packs them into the cars so we can drive to the new house and then he unloads both cars once we are there.

Tomorrow (Friday) is the big move. I will be off line from tomorrow morning until sometime on Monday when they hook up our DSL at the new house. I will likely be rocking behind a stack of boxes after 4 days without my friends who live inside the computer. But you all are normally pretty quiet on the weekend so let’s keep it that way – m’kay? Guess I won’t have much excuse to not get a lot of unpacking done. Oh except this whole creating life thing – I find that is a handy dandy excuse for just about anything I don’t get done.

I had dinner with a group of lovely local bloggers tonight. Things like gaining traffic, popular posts, and world domination were discussed. But a couple of events lately have started my brain churning about the similarities between parts of blog world and high school.

Here are my Top Ten Ways Blogland is like High School

10. When we are new to blogging, it is much like the first day at a new school. We are standing there in the cafeteria with our tray looking for a friendly table where we can sit. We don’t dare sit at the cool table (read: commenting on a Big Blogger’s site) so we find a corner that seems friendly and start there.

9. It is best to show up every day. Yes, you can blog sporadically but if you want to have readers, they expect content.

8. Cliques are alive and well. We all have our best blogging friends and we stick together. It is difficult to enter a new corner of blogland and feel welcome.

7. It is all about getting comments which is just like getting your yearbook signed by as many people as possible.

6. Everyone loves the class clown. We were talking tonight about feeling pressure to be funny – same as high school. You are declaring “look at me!” so you better make ’em laugh.

5. Bloggers often have email conversations off-blog. This is like passing notes in history class.

4. If the cool girl (read: a Big Blogger) acknowledges you, it can make your day. If she snubs you, it can make you want to go cry a little in the bathroom.

3. We copy each other’s homework. When we are stuck for inspiration, we read other blogs and use their posts as jumping off points for our own posts.

2. When someone refers to another un-named blogger in an unflattering manner, we all get paranoid that she is talking about us.

1. When there is a fight (in the comments), we all gather around to either have our friend’s back or to pick at the carcasses.

And much like high school, I am rather oblivious to it all. I’m sufficiently popular in my tiny corner of blogland and don’t give much thought to gaining more popularity. I’m clueless cool like that.

I’ve had the great fortune to meet many of my blogland strangerfriends in person.  I was so excited to meet Carla (coiner of the phrases strangerfriends for our blog family and chickenbus as a toddler friendly curse word replacement) this past fall when I was in Texas.  She is as funky and cool in person as she is in blogland (and Emma is too much fun).  It is rare to find a friend, let alone a strangerfriend, with whom you can exchange 1 or 2 sentence snarky emails and not worry about having to explain what you mean.  Carla is one of those people for me.

Several of you have asked what happened to her since she moved her Chickenbus journal to a private corner of blogland.  Now you have a new opportunity to see what she is up to – she launched her new sit MizFit yesterday.

In her previous life, Carla was a personal fitness guru and she continues to do a good bit of fitness writing.  At her new site, she will  be talking about all things fitness related – food, exercise, exercise apparel, etc.  Carla is all about life in moderation so no worries about her getting preachy on us.  (She has even sent me sites with cupcake recipes.  Gasp!)

On Mondays she is doing a video entry.  Tuesday is all about current trends.  Wednesdays are set aside to answer reader questions so ask away!  Thursdays is food and recipes.  Fridays is link love and freebies.

Go check her out and give her some blogland love.  And if you’ve been wondering the best way to get your butt to stop its southward journey, ask her, she just might have an answer for you.

Starfish was given this award and then passed it on to several other bloggers who (in her words):

“You are receiving this honor because you have embodied perseverance in the face of difficulty and shared the journey of your experiences with others proving that a single voice can both be a light of support and a source or humor for those in the midst of their struggle. You are acknowledged here today for allowing others to share in your personal story and providing camaraderie through the power of your words.”

I was incredibly honored when I saw I was one of her choices for this badge of courage.  I didn’t immediately post about it because I wasn’t feeling very worthy of it at that moment.  I’ve seen many of the people I would consider passing it on to have already received it from others and I’ve lost track of who hasn’t received it.  So my lazy butt is simply going to dedicate it to all bloggers who put themselves out there to make connections with other people out there in blogland.  It can be hard to as honest as is safe (can’t reveal some things to the internet) and just putting it out there for anyone to read and criticize.

I did 2 things yesterday that I’m feeling a little unsure of.  No, neither involved Halloween candy…Sabrina had about 47 meltdowns yesterday afternoon and evening so even though I really needed chocolate last night, we didn’t take her trick or treating.  I see you all out there shaking your heads, rolling your eyes, saying “Not the beautiful Miss Sabrina!  She is always smiling!”  Oh yeah?  I’ve got proof:

I figured rather than dragging that attitude around, I could buy my own candy.  But back to the 2 things I’ve done.  The first one is this:

I gave into peer pressure (okay, no one said a word to me directly – but I know what you were thinking) and I signed up for NaBloPoMo.  For those who aren’t aware, November is National Blog Posting Month (so they came up with that awkward acronym to stand for that – I would rather just say National Blog Posting Month personally but no one asked).  Signing up simply means I’ve promised to post every day in November.  I wasn’t going to sign up because I don’t want blogging to feel like an obligation.  But I post almost daily anyway and if I don’t post everyday in November it isn’t like a group of angry blog monitors are going to come after me with rubber hoses, right?  Right?  Because I totally didn’t read the fine print.

The other thing?  I’ve decided to sell out.  You’ll soon see ads on my side bar.  Feel free to ignore them or read through bloglines where you don’t have to see them at all.  When I decided to get my own domain, we were hosting ourselves so it was practically free.  Now we pay a hosting service.  I may or may not make enough from the ads to pay for the hosting service – we’ll see how it goes.  Just pretend they aren’t there when they show up.

Sig has announced the winner of her first raffle.  Over $2000 was raised!  Thanks to everyone who donated or sent good wishes her way!  Click here to check out her new public blog and see if you were the winner.

Thanks to everyone who delurked and said hello yesterday and earlier today.  I think it is so much fun to hear from those who are new to reading here or those who don’t normally comment.  (Of course you all know I adore those of you who comment regularly.  Smooches.)  You can all return to lurking if you wish.  I know that I often don’t comment on blogs that I read daily – either because I don’t have time or because I don’t have anything to say.

I only received 2 questions from that post, so I will answer them today.

Tricia asked if I have found a new fabulous lunch spot here in Nashville.  Sadly, no.  We haven’t really found any place fabulous yet.  We’ve found some good places and some okay places but nothing that has made my eyes roll back in my head.  There is a Persian place that we liked.  The Mexican place I went on a mom’s night out was pretty yummy.  And a bar and grill place that made pretty kick ass pulled pork tacos and had a great beer menu.  But nothing brunch worthy yet.  Of course, part of that is because we aren’t going out a lot – Steve’s been crazy busy at work and we are being frugal due to the mortgage/rent obligations.

Lori asked about the transition to being a SAHM.  I emailed my response to her but decided to include it here because I know there are a few other people out there struggling with this.  Here was my response:
As for the transition…honestly, I cheated.  I didn’t have that going to work one day and then suddenly the next having no where to go.  Obviously I did quit my job and not have to go back…but I quit my job 10 days before moving to Guatemala to foster so I was consumed with details to get ready for that.  My first 2 months as a stay at home mom, I wasn’t at home – I was living in Guatemala.  Being so completely out of my element (and country and home) made me marvel less at the not working thing and more at the “holy crap I am living thousands of miles away from my husband and I don’t speak the language and the water is evil”.  Then when I came home, I had to spend 2 or 3 weeks packing up my house to move to another state, again without my husband, while trying to let all of our friends and family meet Sabrina.  Then I got to TN and had to unpack all of those same boxes.  So it was probably mid-August (I left my job the first week of April) before the “Oh crap, I don’t have a job any more” thing hit me.

That being said, the 2 biggest hurdles I’ve had to overcome in order to be a happy stay at home mommy are: 1) not being isolated and 2) letting go of the career identity I’ve had for the past dozen years.  The isolated part is probably the easiest in theory.  There are different ways to find mommy groups (they can kind of suck – but go anyway…it really does help to get out of the house even if it is just to make fun of the super anal mommies in your head – but keep it in your head or they will beat you with an organic 12 grain loaf of bread they baked themselves that morning and those suckers are dense so it hurts).  If you need some ideas to find some groups, try meetup.com and craigs list and if you have one of those local freebie papers check those out too – or just google.  The identity part was much harder for me.  It was all good and noble to say I was moving to Guatemala to take care of my daughter but once I got home I was just another mommy.  I felt like I had less worth when someone asked what I did and I had to answer that I was “just a mommy now”.  I would usually add what I did in my previous life just so they knew I used to be interesting.  I was so invested in my identity as a social worker – saving children, and women, and families – why was it so hard to admit that I was putting my own child and family first?  Why did I feel that held so little value in the eyes of other people?  I am still working to make peace with my feelings about where my identity lies now.  There are days I swear I am getting dumber by the second.  But when I think about the alternative – coming home after a day of pointless (I worked for a government bureaucracy – trust me they were pointless) meetings and having someone else tell me how Sabrina’s day was – I know I am doing the right thing for us.

It really is harder than I guessed in some ways and easier in others.  I never dreamed how much mental energy it would take to be “on” all day long for her.  But I also anticipated more crying (her not me – but you never know) and fewer giggles.  I also thought the days would seem longer – but they really fly by (except that last hour before daddy gets home to take over).  The sameness of the days that gets to me sometimes.   But Sabrina thrives on the routine so I just vary what kind of liquor I put in my hip flask to shake things up.
So there you have it.  Any more questions?  And if anyone knows of a eyes-roll-back-in-your-head brunch place in Nashville, please share.

I’ve read in several places that today has been declared a delurk day.  Delurking means all of you out there who read but don’t comment as are supposed to reveal yourselves.  Apparently some of the bigger bloggers have noticed a decline in commenting but not in the number of readers so they want to encourage comments.  As for me?  I get comments when my posts are worthy of comment and not so many when they are not.  So I won’t pressure you all to comment if you don’t want to.  If you have nothing to say, ask me a question.  Something you are curious about, something you are dying to know about my glamorous life or my flawless parenting techniques (for those who are new here – that was sarcasm).  Or just say hi.  Or not.  Whatever.

(Zoot even stopped and commented here!?!  I feel like I was visited by a rock star!)

One other option – you can be embarrassed for me as I share too much information with the internet and then look at cute photos of my kid.

Yesterday, I was in the bathroom with my usual audience.  I, like many, have some reading materials in the bathroom.  Sabrina suddenly leaves the bathroom and I hear her rummaging in her basket of toys and books in my bedroom.  She returns with her Brown Bear book and sits in front of me “reading” it.  Having a kid keeps me laughing.

Okay, a few photos and I’ll wrap this bad boy up.

This is her “kitty”

which she loves to give kisses to

First off, thank you all of the explanations for the peculiar Southern behaviors I asked about. I’ll take them under advisement the next time someone driving is in the left lane 10 miles below the speed limit with Bush bumper sticks and I am considering perpetrating an act of Northern Aggression. I’ll also consider buying myself a tube of lipstick since apparently that is required down here.

Now on to a topic which encourages everyone’s participation. When I started this blog, it was after reading several adoption blogs out there. I liked what I was reading and I wanted to play too. (Some day my archives will return so you can all glory in the wisdom I spewed before and during the adoption process.) I’ve written a couple of times recently that I’ve been struggling with the “What now?” question. I’m not really an adoption blogger anymore. Sabrina is home. We fortunately aren’t struggling with attachment issues for now. So I guess that makes me a mommy blogger who happened to become a mommy through adoption.

I still read a lot of adoption blogs. I read the ones in my blogroll and I have a private stash on Bloglines. 90% are adoption blogs. I’ve stumbled across some non-adoption blogs that I enjoy but haven’t actively looked for them. Until now. I started reading some mommy blogs after the BlogHer conference when everyone was linking everyone else. Some I really like but I haven’t added any of them into my blogroll or Bloglines feed yet. I am hesitant to make the leap. I love our adoption blog community. I “know” many of you. It is a safe and mostly warm and fuzzy place to blog. Commenting and linking to the bigger mommy blogging world invites strangers (who might not be so nice) onto my turf. What if someone puts gum in my hair?

Anywhoo, back to the participation part. I want to hear about blogs you love – blogs that I don’t have in my blog roll. Give us the link in the comments and we will all go check them out. They don’t have to be mommy blogs or adoption blogs – just the blogs that you really like to start your day with. I want to branch out a bit and discover some of the other great stuff out there in blogworld that I might be missing.

It is officially this many degrees outside:

I don’t even want to get in the sizzling car to take Sabrina anywhere outside of the apartment today so we are hanging at home.

A couple of random things:

Someone from the south, help me out with something. I was looking through a dining guide that had restaurants categorized by different types of food (e.g. Asian, Deli, Italian, etc.) and came across a category that I’ve never heard of before. What exactly is “Meat-and-three”? Is that some sort of designation meaning after the meal you will need a triple bypass as opposed to a double or quad? I’m quite curious about it so someone enlighten me.

I’ve been struggling with what this blog will be beyond a way for family and friends to see Sabrina growing since we live no where near any of them now. Am I a mommy blogger? A mommy with a blog? A woman who happens to be a mommy with a blog? A stream of consciousness blogger who writes about whatever strikes her that day including but not limited to her beautiful child? Do I still belong in the adoption community of bloggers? Other than allowing those in process to see my beautiful daughter growing I don’t know that I add anything to the adoption community these days. I also don’t know that I have anything astounding to say as a mommy. Then I yell at myself (in my head…don’t want the neighbors to think I am a nut) that I am over thinking things. It is my blog – I can do what I want with it. How many readers choose to continue checking in with me is irrelevant, right? My blog is for me. But that is partially a crock. I like entertaining others with my ramblings. Still no answer to any of these questions but if my blog seems a little schizo, please know I am aware that I’m all over the place right now. I am looking for my voice again. My life has completely turned upside down recently with moving, quitting work, becoming a mom. I still feel like I identify more with childless women than other mommies. Is that weird? I guess I’m still growing into my new role in life. I’ll figure it all out and you can all come along for the ride if you want.