I’ve been worried about how to deal with 2 active kiddos this winter. We aren’t as house bound as we would be up north but it is still cold and wet a lot of the time. On a local buy/sell/trade page on facebook, I found the answer.

Meet our new indoor trampoline.  The girls have been jumping on it all afternoon. I know it will eventually lose its shiny new status, but for now it is a great way for them to expend some of that excess energy.

It is awfully large so it is going to have to move up to the playroom soon.

Halloween night was chilly here so the girls had to adapt their costumes. We were out for a solid hour and they had a grand time.  Tessa is quite the little con artist. She scammed almost every house out of 2 pieces of candy by being cute and looking confused. Every time I would say “Just one Tessa” the person manning the bowl would tell me it was fine and not to worry about it.  And the houses giving out 2 pieces of candy, she took 3. Sabrina wasn’t quite sure how to react. She is a rule follower. She was torn between outrage over the rule being broken and wanting to go back and grab a second piece for herself.  Tessa is going to keep us on our toes.  And Sabrina is going to narc her out.

I told the girls that there was a surcharge of 3 pieces of candy (my choice) from each of them for my services in taking them out trick or treating. Sabrina was quite outraged by that and tried to negotiate. But she didn’t understand that meeting in the middle at 2 would have served her well and kept sticking to her insistence on 1 piece. So I simply overruled.

(Here is Tessa trying the pathetic face.) I’ve spent the entire week since Halloween saying no to candy. My general rule is for the first week – 10 days they get at least 1 treat, often 2 treats, a day.  After that, it all gets dumped in the community treat bowl and becomes an occasional treat. Tessa and Sabrina have been doing everything in their power to wheedle extra pieces out of me. I give in occasionally because that is the fun of Halloween.

After a friend’s pirate birthday party.

Life is pretty quiet here in middle TN. House showings have come to a screeching halt (from several each week to none in 5 weeks) but that is understandable given the time of year. Everyone wants to settle in and hibernate for the winter.  This fall has been the prettiest one we’ve had since moving here. I’ve really missed the intense colors of the fall leaves up north.  Most years it is dry and hot so the leaves just turn a rusty brown and fall off.  But this year we’ve had the perfect combo of rain and cooler temps that we have some pretty great color. All of these were taken from my front and back porch this morning.

It is Halloween and the girls are out of their minds with excitement over trick or treating tonight. Due to intense pressure from Sabrina, I did a little decorating on the front door and porch. (I couldn’t put up my cool glowing cat eyes because of the house being on the market.)

(Hate candy corn but it makes a cute wreath.)

My dog isn’t even smart enough to shed at the right time of year. He is molting. Hair is everywhere. I vacuumed 4 days ago:

Tessa is getting a little too smart for her own good. I put the markers up on top of this red cabinet yesterday afternoon when the girls were done coloring. This morning after I loaded the dishwasher, I found her seated at the craft table coloring with the marker (Color Wonder thank goodness). She left the evidence of how she obtained them behind:

Because we got both girls a Vtech Innopad (kind of like an iPad for kids) for Christmas, we’ve let Tessa start playing with her big sister’s Mobigo. She loves it and does pretty well at playing the games.

And thus ends the random ramblings for this Monday.

This year, I let the girls pick out their costumes. The result was pink and glittery and blond and purple and cheaply made.  But they love it so I’m not complaining too much. Tessa picked out her butterfly costume because she is currently obsessed with butterflies that land all over a bush in our yard.  Sabrina said for months that she wanted to be Rapunzel and never wavered. It had to have the wig. I had mixed feelings about my beautiful Guatemalan daughter wanting a long, blonde wig. But I decided to not a make a big deal out of it.

Just as well I didn’t over react.  She ended up not wanting to wear it because it itched and the wind kept blowing it in her face so she removed it right after photos. (Photos by Crystal.) She did think it was hilarious that everyone at the party did a double take and said they didn’t recognize her.

Tessa was mad that we weren’t going to the playground (the party was at a picnic pavilion in the park) but I knew the costumes wouldn’t survive hard play. She protested loudly and often. But at least she looked cute while doing it.

Tessa. She is sweet and sassy and laid back and difficult and in her own little world. She makes me laugh every single day. She cracks herself up too. Steve says she is a mini-Michelle. In most ways, I can’t deny that.

She loves her sleep but since I finally converted her crib to a toddler bed last month, she is drunk with freedom. She wakes up early and instead of rolling over and going back to sleep until a sane hour, she wants to get up and see what’s shaking (nothing – we are all sleeping!).  She even wakes up before Sabrina many morning – and Sabrina just doesn’t sleep.  We’ve been trying different ways (short of one of those kid proof knob covers or a baby gate – not really wanting to lock her in) to keep her in her room in the wee hours so that she gets more sleep.  Because, much like momma, Tessa without enough sleep is not pleasant.

She also fights sleep at nap time when she goes to school. I think there is just too much to look at to waste time sleeping. I can always tell when she doesn’t nap at school.  On those days, about 15 minutes after I pick her up, she turns into a demon who can not be pleased. She’ll stand in front of me and demand to be up on my lap. The second she touches my lap she’ll scream “NO!” and jump down. Lather, rinse, repeat. With everything . Until bed time. Yes, it is a joy.

One day last week, I decided to let her play with her sister’s Mobigo. She was entranced and almost happy despite having no nap. But after 20 minutes, this is what I found:

She never passes out in random places. I wish I could make her understand how important sleep is.

For Christmas almost 2 years ago, Sabrina received a “big girl” bike from her aunt and uncle. She wasn’t big enough for it yet but she picked it out with excitement – fortunately she was just coming out of the Dora phase and moving into the princess phase so she still likes the bike because it isn’t covered in Dora.  She sat on it a few times but flat out refused to try to ride it. It scared the bejeezus out of her. This summer, she finally declared if we bought her a helmet, knee pads, and elbow pads, she might ride it. I told her I wasn’t spending the cash on those items unless she was really going to ride the bike.  Impasse until yesterday.  Having daddy home bolstered her confidence and she decided she wanted to try it out in our cul de sac.  She did pretty well.  Today, she was even braver and rode around the cul de sac unassisted.  Guess I better pony up for a helmet and pads now.

Not more than 30 minutes after we put her bike away and went inside, a little boy came to our front door.  He asked “Can Sabrina please come out to play?” With my heart in my throat, I had to tell him no because we were about to sit down for dinner.  Two such big things in one day. A boy. Asking for my daughter to come out and play. No one has ever done that before. (Next will be a boy picking her up for a date. Hyperventilating here.)  And then the bike. (Next thing we know it will be a car. Is it hot in here?) I just want to put a freeze on this growing up thing for a little while.

And this one is finally having the language explosion we expected a year ago. She is trying a dozen new words a day and putting together small sentences. She is pretty adept at riding the big wheel and would probably hop on the big girl bike tomorrow if we let her.  She is fearless. We had potty training boot camp for 2 1/2 days and we lost. Badly. I decided it was best to retreat and regroup. We’ll try again in a few weeks or months when she is interested. Right now she has no interest or desire.

A friend told me that she and her husband had been taking their kids to Chuck E Cheese on Sunday mornings. I asked if she was insane. I’ve been to Chuck E Cheese. It is loud and crowded and loud. And that mouse is effing creepy.  She said that on Sunday mornings it was pretty okay because we live in the bible belt and most folk are hiding at home so everyone thinks they are at church. I’ve mentioned that I’m working with a lot of mommy guilt around here for a variety of reasons but mainly because I’ve been a solo parent for the past 5 months. I know this means my girls get short changed a lot. Sabrina sees commercials for CEC and has begged to go. So one Sunday, off we went.

I printed a coupon before we left and we purchased tokens. There were very few people there at 9:30 on a Sunday morning.  We had our run of the place until around 11. By 11:30 it was getting a little crowded with birthday parties but we had played everything age appropriate at that point anyway.  We left with some candy purchased with the tickets the girls won and enough tokens to return another time. So if you are a heathen and need some relatively cheap Sunday morning entertainment to soothe some parental guilt, CEC isn’t too painful. Except for my youngest head butting me in the face when I attempted a little family “photo” – this photo was an action shot about .5 seconds after that:

Sabrina. She wants so badly to be big. She talks longingly about being a big kid and a grown up.  When she is with children her own age, I don’t see it so much. But the moment she is around older kids, it is very apparent how much she wants to be like them. That turns into her wanting their approval which makes me very uncomfortable. Because what I want, besides for her to stay my little girl forever and ever, is for her to be confident in who she is.  I want her to be a leader not a follower. But the second she is around an older kid, she immediately submits and starts to act like an excited puppy willing to follow her around and lick her face.

I am fortunate that the older kids she has spent time with thus far have been kind and patient. They haven’t seen her eager-to-please attitude as an opportunity to be mean or hurtful. But if she continues, she will find that type of kid sooner or later. I fear the mean girl who will break her heart and dent her big smile. We call Sabrina our ray of sunshine because she just radiates happiness when she isn’t giving me attitude. I don’t want to world to take even a tiny particle of that away from her.

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One day last week, the girls were playing outside in the back yard.  I was just about to go out when I overheard Sabrina talking with the girl next door, M.  M is in the 3rd grade and part of a very solid and nice family.  They were standing on the top platforms of their respective playsets and chatting over the fence.  Sabrina is enamored with M. She wants so badly to be friends with M and would happily do just about anything M asked of her.

I was just about to step out when I heard M say “Why don’t you jump off your playset?” This made my heart stop because Sabrina’s top fort is 8+ feet off the ground. It took everything in me to stop myself from running out screaming “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” I decided to stop and see how Sabrina handled it. I was within yelling distance if she was stupid enough to consider it and with her in school who knows how many similar situations she has to face daily.  Sabrina basically ignored M’s request and went on chattering.  (Full disclosure: Sabrina knew I was standing there listening. M did not.) A few minutes later, M repeated the suggestion.  Sabrina told her “No. It is too high and I’m too little to do that.” I breathed a sigh of relief. Her need to please is deep but not so deep as to cause her to be a complete moron.  M dropped that subject then asked Sabrina to play Truth or Dare. Again, it took everything in me to not intervene.  But really, how racy can truth or dare get with a kindergartener?  Sabrina quickly proved to have no understanding of that point of the game and M grew bored with that.

Sabrina tried to invite herself over to M’s house (I’m working on social conventions/manners like not inviting herself places but it is slow going). M was very sweet in telling her maybe another time.  M is always kind and never seems annoyed by Sabrina stalking her (seriously, M can’t be in her backyard without Sabrina yelling for her over the fence).  But listening to the interaction really drove home a few things.  First, Sabrina is growing up and there is nothing I can do to stop it.  Second, I am going to try my hardest to teach her social norms but some mean girl somewhere is going to find something to use against her and break her heart. Third, it is going to be hard not to read her diary.  Fourth, she is going to try to date seniors when she is a freshman. GAH!

The photos have nothing to do with the post. They just make me smile. One rainy afternoon, the girls made up a game involving light up wands and a football.  It made little sense to me as a spectator but they had a grand time.

Several of you have asked how the sale of the house is going.  I haven’t talked about it here because there isn’t much to say.  We’ve had dozens of showings and 2 open houses (with a 3rd scheduled).  Realtors love the house – several have said it is one of the best houses in town and the price point is perfect. Don’t! Change! A! Thing! But. But the buyers aren’t in agreement.  We apparently have 3 problems. Problem the first: it isn’t across the main road in the other town.  Now I wasn’t aware of that the other town was more prestigious. Heck, I’m not sure where one ends and the other begins.  Second problem: new construction resumed here in January and because of our price point we are only about $20K less than a new build. The floor plans aren’t as nice but the appliances and house aren’t 9 years old and you get to pick your finishes.  I get that.  Lastly, the outside of our house isn’t they look they are seeking.  We loved the fact that it doesn’t look like every other house in the county in town.  It isn’t the style that I might have chosen if I was building but I have no issues with the pretend farmhouse-ish look.  But people want brick (ours is Hardy board which is as durable as brick) and fake columns and weird little porticoes.   These photos are taken from my front yard.  With slight differences in style and amounts of brick, they are representative of what most houses in the neighborhood/town/county look like.

Nothing wrong with them. Pretty standard. Here is my house.

Please to forgive the lack of landscaping…was planning to do it this summer but since it isn’t going to by mine I lost the motivation. Plus these are the MLS photos from before we bought the house.

There are 4 houses in the neighborhood like ours. They were going to be models for a new phase but that phase was scrapped and they went back to the brick houses.  So ours does stick out. I never dreamed that would be a bad thing but no fewer than 4 buyers have specifically said they hate the outside.

I don’t show you this so you will all tell me my house is pretty. I like my house and know there is nothing wrong with it. But different strokes for different folks and all that.  Apparently, we just need to have a little patience and eventually someone will come along who loves our house as much as we do.  And for those who’ve asked why we don’t just rent it out and go north – well, I don’t want to do that for a long list of reasons. Also, my husband’s parents are graciously allowing him to stay with them in Pittsburgh so we aren’t having the cost of maintaining 2 households.  If we leave, at some point we will end up paying rent and mortgage or 2 mortgages and I don’t need new ulcers.

Bottom line is: No news is…no news.  The girls and I are here until we sell the house unless Steve and I come up with a game plan that doesn’t end with us living in a van down by the (Monongahela) river. If we are still here at the first of the year, there are a couple of additional things we are prepared to discuss to get things moving. For now, Steve works from home 1 week each month and the other 3 weeks the girls and I are on our own.  The summer was really hard for us but now that school has started it has gotten easier. The girls have their days filled and I get a few hours each week to myself. As time has marched on, I think the girls have adjusted better to this separation than Steve and I have.  It is their new normal and, while they don’t like it, they are troopers.

Daddy made a rookie mistake and this was the result: