“See the irony is what they need to do is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit and it’s over.” Bush was overheard saying this to Tony Blair. He didn’t realize that the microphone was on. Now everyone is all in a tizzy because the president cursed. Honestly? With everything going on in the world, I would worry if he didn’t throw out an expletive here and there. In regards to Iraq, if he has a brain he has to be thinking “Well f*ck, that didn’t turn out like I expected.”

His candor in speaking to Blair that way didn’t bother me…his lack of candor most other days bothers me a great deal. I’m also bugged by his misuse of the word irony. And by the fact that he got the prime minister’s attention by saying “Yo, Blair.” Yo? Seriously, he’s the leader of the free world and he says ‘Yo’?

***********

The other political topic of the day: gay marriage. We bemoan the break down of stable family units in our country, yet we do everything in our power to make sure that our rigid ideas of family remain static. Families are blended through adoption and re-marriage. People of all races, religions, and backgrounds come together to form families. So why, despite all of these socially accepted ideas on family, do we feel it is okay to make a value judgment on those who choose yet another definition? Why do we, as a country, feel that we can tell others their lifestyle and families are not okay?

And as for the religious arguments? The God I grew up with was a kind and benevolent God. I don’t believe that God would judge any loving and committed relationship as wrong. And when throwing around the religious arguments, why do many of the Christians forget that it is not their job to judge others? I believe that right is reserved for God Himself.

With all of the troubles in our country and our world today, I can’t believe that we have spent this much time and energy debating something as wonderful as a loving couple and whether or not they should be allowed to make a commitment to each other. And don’t even get me started on countries that won’t allow a gay couple to adopt…

And you know what? I’m such a liberal, I even welcome those of you who disagree with me to speak up. We liberals like to support the first amendment – we are all tree-huggy like that.

Go tell Jen and Sig congrats! They both received referrals of girl yesterday. Jen has been waiting for ages for her referral from Russia. And Sig has been on the waiting list with our agency for a month. So happy for both of them – I honestly did a little happy dance in my chair. Then I made Steve come and see Sig’s little doll. Unfortunately, Jen can’t post the photos of her little girl (Russia doesn’t allow it). Go give them some love!

And I’m so glad some of you would be my friend if you were in the area…and that you don’t all think I’m a pathetic loser for pimping out my daughter. LOL

There is this cool site which I found on someone else’s blog several weeks ago (the blog has since been password protected or I would link). If you visit this site and enter the URL for your blog, it will scan it and come up with this word cloud for words you use often. It’s supposed to capture the essence of your blog. I did this several weeks ago and the word ‘hate’ was much more prominent. That gave me a moments pause…I don’t of myself (despite my love of sarcasm) as being hateful. But there it was…I was using the word often enough (I hate this paperchase for example) that it figured prominently in my blog. I rescanned this yesterday and was happy to see that ‘like’ and ‘love’ were more prominent this time than hate. Although it is weird – there are 2 words I’ve never used which show up: ‘dona’ and ‘cana’. No idea what that is all about. Anywhooo, just thought I would share this – it’s kind of fun. (You can then order the image on t-shirts and mugs in case you love it that much.)

Friendship (frndshp) n.

1. The quality or condition of being friends.
2. A friendly relationship: formed many new friendships over the summer.
3. Friendliness; good will: a policy of friendship toward other nations.

I’ve been contemplating friendship lately. I have many people I would call friends. I have a number of close friends. There are people that I could call without hesitation if I really needed emotional support or help of some sort. I know that person would drop everything to help me. But there are very few people that I could call and say “hey let’s go eat Mexican food and drink margaritas on Wednesday night”. Partly because most of my friends don’t live in Pennsylvania and partly because those who do are busy with their own lives (children, husbands, work, home, etc).

I would love to have a couple friends…but I just need one good one. Someone who is free once a month or so. Someone who can pinch hit for Deanna or Amy until they figure out that they should move to Pittsburgh. When contemplating the sad state of affairs when I want a girls night, I wonder how in the world do you make new friends in your 30’s? Work is a logical answer. There is only one woman at work who is even close to my age. She is busy with her life…but a potential friend. It’s hard to develop anything that would stand up outside of the office though because she has a 16 month old at home and of course wants to sprint out of work to pick her up at daycare. Church is another logical answer. Except I don’t go. And when I did, everyone there was 85. The churches in my area that attract a younger congregation tend to be those nouveau churches you see in mini-malls. Not really my style. I don’t go to bars…besides women my age in a bar are not looking to be picked up by the likes of me (at least not for friendship). I tried to take a fun community learning class – figured I could learn something while meeting new people – this summer but it was cancelled for lack of interest. I’m hoping that was a commentary on the class and not on me.

So, I’ll admit it. This is yet another hope I’ve hung on the head of my future daughter. I hope that taking her to the park and to other mom/daughter-related activities will help me meet others who are new to the mom gig. (“Honey, why don’t you go play with that little girl in the jumper. Her mom looks cool.”) I’m going to pimp out my kid to make friends. Man, I’m pathetic.

I started using this lovely little file box, dubbed the Adoption Box (no Amy, I never did get around to decorating it with glitter or magazing cut outs). It then began spilling out of the adoption box. It took over my dining room table (and my life in many ways). But since I’ve mailed my dossier off to various parts of the country, to hopefully be reunited and dispatched to Guatemala soon, I’ve reclaimed my dining room table. It’s all nice and clean and lovely.

And after I cleaned off the table, I put the remnants of our paper chase back into their nice neat little folders and put the folders back into their nice neat little Adoption Box.

It looks easily tamed when put back into the nice little box. Now I’m not sure what I should worry and obsess about. I’m certainly expending a little bit of energy worrying that the pieces of our dossier all end up in the places and come back together again. But other than that? I feel pretty good. I’m starting to look forward to going on The List to get The Call. (For those not currently pursuing adoption, I’ll translate. The List is what we all strive for during the paper chase. The List is the official waiting list at your agency – the list off of which they make The Calls. The Call is what we all hold our breath for…it is the phone call that changes your life. It is when some wonderful person at your agency calls to tell you that you have a daughter or a son. The Call is when you get all of the yummy details about your little one. Then you wait for The Email. The Email is when you finally get to see your little one’s face.) But, I know it will be 10 days or so before we are on The List. And several weeks after that before we can begin to anticipate The Call. I’ll have to find something to talk about during this adoption down time. So any burning questions, ask them now and I’ll work them into a post over the next several non-eventful weeks. Have a wonderful Saturday!

Woohoo! Dossier is done (except for authentication) and on it is way! I’m feeling less bitter today. It feels like the weight has lifted some. I am sure it will lighten even more one I know it is completely done and all in one place again.

This is the last I will ever have to see of this m*ther f*cking dossier. The 3 envelopes you see are leaving my hands in the morning, never to return. The contents of these 3 envelopes have consumed my thoughts (and my dining room table) for the past 4 months. The first is going to the courier who will take everything to DC for authentication. She will then mail it directly to my agency rep. The second is holds items which do not require certification or authentication (photos of us, photos of house, copies of passports, I600s and G28s). The third goes to our agency office. It holds a check and DNA authorization.

Most people talk about being afraid of letting their dossier out of their sight after all of the effort put into it. I do have a small amount of anxiety about that because if the large envelope was lost I would have to hunt down the FedEx individuals responsible and torture them extensively. But mostly, I can’t wait to get them out of my house and out of my life. Bitter? Yeah, a bit. I never dreamed 17 documents could cause so much drama in my life. I’m not ready to celebrate until it has all been reunited with my agency rep who will review and send it on to Guatemala. That day? I see many large, potent drinks in my hand.

A huge thank you to Kendra for helping me with the last pieces. She was kind enough to take them with her to Harrisburg for certification. (Lucky dog, she was there having her power of attorney certified after the referral of her beautiful son last weekend.) Congrats and thanks again!

Strange things happen in my life. Stranger things happen in my life when my best friend Deanna is with me. (My dear friend, Amy, deserves an honorable mention. She was involved in several of these items.) I say strange things happen like I have nothing to do with it – I most definitely am an active participant much of the time. Here is a list of some of those odd things. Maybe they aren’t so weird – if you have had similar odd things happen, let me know that I’m not a weird magnet.

• Taco Bell ran out of taco meat. The pizza place was out of pepperoni.
• A gay man has given me a lap dance…more than once
• My friends brought me a punch bowl to drink out of for my 31^st birthday – they did give me a big straw so I wouldn’t spill it – the whole bar thought it was hilarious
• I’ve been wounded (bleeding) by a friend and then shoved back into the ocean so she could get away in case my blood attracted sharks
• I had a stalker in my mid-20s. His idea of wooing me? The gift of brown Pyrex bake ware left on my car and a bad mixed tape.
• There was a large hole in the shower ceiling of our hotel bathroom. Workmen were working above me. I didn’t notice until after my shower when I was toweling my hair dry. I then forgot to tell my friend, who showered after me, until she finished her shower.
• I have shown Trainspotting, 40 Days 40 Nights, and When A Man Loves A Woman for therapeutic purposes. (Have you seen Trainspotting? It is a horrible, awful Scottish film.)
• When traveling in Europe, our electricity converter didn’t work. At all. My friend burnt a large chunk of her hair off by touching it with the curling iron. The ‘cool tip’ then melted off and fell to the floor.
• I have consumed deep fried mushrooms, pizza, a hot fudge brownie sundae, and iced animal cookies while drinking Malibu rum, smoking Marlboro reds and watching Disney movies. I want to be sick just thinking about it. Ahhh…to be 19 again.
• I have almost been involved in a car accident due to the driver wanting to hide from someone and deciding ducking under the dash would be the best solution.
• I have almost been involved in a car accident due to melting chocolate.
• While drunk in a bar, I’ve done crisis intervention with a suicidal man.
• I’ve returned a stolen car to the dealership.
• I’ve had tea with Hillary Clinton and driven John Glenn to the airport.
• I’ve had a window fall on me, while I was hanging out of it, naked and throwing up. (Man, I just know that is going to bring my blog up on some weird google searches.)
• I have purposely thrown my luggage down an escalator in an airport.
• I’ve searched toilet tanks and vacuum sweeper bags for drugs.

Can we never share this list with my future daughter?

*Why do my bullets never show up when I publish? I can see them when I am composing…

Back to the dentist again yesterday. One broken tooth has caused me to miss work several times, spend hours of my life at a dentist office, huge amounts of pain medicated with Advil and penicillin, and about $1600. And I will have two more appointments after this one so they can put on my permanent crown. The next appointment is 2 HOURS long! (And all of you dental hygienists out there saying ‘well you could have avoided this if you had come for your regular cleaning every 6 months’ can just bite me.) If I had just told them to pull the damn thing? $100 and 20 minutes. But no, I have to be a snob and keep all of my teeth. (Despite my fear of dentists, I also have nightmares about all of my teeth falling out.)

I’ve decided I really don’t like my dentist. The root canal guy? He and his hygienist were wonderful. But my dentist is 90 and cranky and laughs when he makes me cry. (Seriously. The man thinks it is funny that I cry.) He scolds me and is planning to buy a condo in Del Bocca Vista (reference, anyone? see the badly spelled title of post for hint) after ripping all of my teeth out. And he doesn’t use nitrous oxide. And his procedures have caused me way more pain than the actual root canal – that doesn’t seem right. Yesterday really hurt and he kept saying “oh that was just a little pinch”. Little pinch my ass, doc. How do I break up with my dentist? Obviously, I will finish this procedure with him but I am sure there is other work that needs to be done and I don’t want him to do it.

Our paperchasing days are officially over.  No, our dossier is not completely finished yet but I don’t have to generate or request any more documents. I sent our last 2 items for certification this morning (thank you Kendra for walking them through for us…send your gift requests).  Once I get those back, I will send the whole thing off for authentication.  Then, I will send our entire dossier off to our agency and begin the wait for a referral.

Let’s review how many attempts for each document gathered (just to prepare those in the beginning steps of the chase…I mistakenly believed one try would do it for each).  I believed I would have this all done in 30 days.  It ended up taking almost 4 months.

Marriage and birth certs – 1 (CA birth cert took almost eight weeks to receive and certify)

FBI ink fingerprints – 1

State Police Clearance –   Me 2; Steve 3

Employment letters – Me 2; Steve 5

Doctors letters – Me 5; Steve 5

Witness letters – 1 letter passed first try, other letter required 2 attempts

Name affidavit – Me 1; Steve 1

Homestudy – after initial corrections only 1

171H – received 6 days after submitting I600A!

Tip to avoid prolonging your paperchase?  Sign with an agency early.  I ended up having to re-do many documents already gathered to meet my agency’s standards because I started my paperchase before choosing an agency (was actually waiting for the one we wanted to begin taking new clients again).

I wrote a letter of thanks to our USCIS office to give them kudos for returning our 171H only 6 days after we submitted for it.  I hear so many others waiting weeks and months and I wanted to give kudos to a government office doing it right (it is a rather rare thing to find).