Michelle Smiles

Teaching my children to question authority, except mine.

Coming out of my self absorbed state for a minute

January18

The ever lovely and ever generous Julia approached me earlier this week with a fabulous idea.

Matt, Jenny & Eliana are about to bring home 2 new daughters! I had the pleasure of meeting this lovely family after my return from Guatemala. They are such wonderful, funny, warm people! Last year they brought Eliana home from Guatemala and soon two more beautiful girls will be joining their family! Obviously this means big and wonderful changes for their family so we thought we would throw a blog shower for them!

You can bless this family four different ways!

1. You can click on the Pay Pal button and donate money directly to the family’s Pay Pal account. (MONEY – every one’s Favorite Gift!) You can give as little or as much as you choose.


2. You can participate in our book drive for them (Nikki’s amazing idea!)You can give the gift of a book for a child ages 2-7 and mail it to the family at:

Whoa Bebe

47 Washington Avenue #143

Wheeling WV 26003

(A Secure PO Box)

3. You can email them an encouraging word, prayer, good thought at:

whoo_yeah@hotmail.com

(there is an underscore_ between whoo and yeah)

4. You can take the “JuJu Challenge” and do all three:)

How cool would it be for this family to have all three from everyone that comes across this blog for a week??????

Thank you – even if all you do is send good thoughts their way. They are a wonderful family who deserve lots of love and happiness.

Thanks in advance for being part of This Incredible Gift Giving Opportunity!

Michelle

Julia

and Nikki

posted under adoption | 26 Comments »

Bursting my bubble

January17

I had yet another appointment with my OB yesterday.  My history of losses has robbed me of much of the joy that should accompany pregnancy.  I’ve been afraid to be hopeful, afraid to believe things might end differently this time.  But this weekend, I will hit the magical 12 week mark – the point when things are supposed to be safe for the most part.  Of course there are never any guarantees but I find myself starting to believe this is really going to happen – we are going to have a baby.  Every time I see that little heart beat on the ultrasound monitor (and this week I swear he/she was waving at me), I gain a little more hope and feel a little more excited.

My doctor doesn’t seem to want me to feel hopeful or excited.  In the beginning when I was all doom and gloom, she was encouraging.  Now that I am starting to feel good about this pregnancy, she insists each and every time on taking the wind out of my sails.  Every week she does an ultrasound and doesn’t say a word.  So every week I ask “Does everything still look okay?”  Her response for the past 3 or 4 weeks is that all she can tell me is that the baby is growing and the heart is still beating.  She won’t be able to tell me if the baby is okay until I am further along and she can do some testing.  She then reminds me of my age and my medical condition and that both of these things mean higher risk to the baby.  I’ve told her I’m not asking for any promises – I just want to know that everything still looks like it should at this point.  Why can’t she let me enjoy this?  I’ve not had many happy moments that are pregnancy related and I would like to enjoy this and know that there is a good reason I’ve felt like dog poop for the past 2 months.  I know she is just being realistic but I find it quite annoying.  Killjoy.

End rant.  (By the way, everything still looks good minus her usual disclaimer.)

Sabrina has decided that water and sleep are evil.  She screams during dinner if she hears Steve running the bath and then scream through her bath.  That has been going on for almost 2 months.  I’ve started showering with her – she still cries but it doesn’t seem to be quite as traumatic for her.  And the bed thing just started this week.  She sobs when we put her down for a nap or for the night.  She has been fine for ages at bed time but this week there is no consoling her.  If we rock her to sleep, she wakes up the second we put her in her bed.  (Normally we can just give her a kiss and put her down and she will put herself to sleep.)  If we don’t pick her up but rub her back she will eventually (meaning after about 20 minutes) calm down but immediately starts screaming again when we stop.  The neighbors probably think I finally snapped and started beating her.

A couple of photos – love this little dress on her.

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This fed ex box makes her happy.

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Breach

January15

I got a letter the other day from my county board of elections.  It basically said “All of your personal data, including your social security number, was stolen from our office last week.  You might want to keep an eye on your credit report in case someone hijacks your identity.”  No apologies. No assurances that that heads will roll when they determine what dumbass allowed this to happen.  No explanation about how it happened.  Not even an attempt to provide contact info for a credit monitoring service so we could check on that pesky little identity theft thing.

I’m not obsessive about it but I do try and keep some pieces of information private.  I work hard not to use my social security number for identification purposes for anything outside of a government agency that insists on it. I did a little googling and found that the board of elections was broken into over the Christmas holiday.  The high tech vandals used a rock to break in – no security system to foil their entry.  And how did they make off with the personal data of over 300,000 people?  They picked up 2 unsecured, unencrypted laptops computers off a desk and walked out with them.  Why in the world would the county store that information on portable devices AND not encrypt the information?  If that happened in a health care facility with the HIPAA laws, that facility would be in serious trouble.  But because it is our government, they will look into better security measures in the future.  (Gee, thanks.)

My knee jerk reaction to this news was to call and tell them I wanted to un-register to vote and I wanted all of my personal info purged from their system.  But that seems rather like closing the barn door after the horse has run out – and why should I not be able to exercise my constitutional right to vote because the government is irresponsible with our personal information?   I want to rage to someone about the irresponsibility.  I want to vow to make sure someone is not re-elected or someone is fired.  But I’m left feeling rather insignificant and ineffective in my anger.  So you guys have to hear about it.

posted under nashville | 12 Comments »

Who Knew?

January14

Things that I never anticipated I would be saying at this point in my life:

“Don’t put that lego up the puppy’s butt.”

“Don’t stick you finger up mommy’s nose.”

“Don’t lick the puppy.”

“Oh boy! Your favorite! A receipt!”

“No, you can’t put your finger up the puppy’s butt either.”

“No kicking mommy in the head.”

“Go around the puppy, don’t walk on him.”

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I’ve never believed in decaf coffee. When I found out I was pregnant, I gave up coffee completely and started drinking decaf tea. Today, I met some friends at Starbuck’s and had a decaf latte – nirvana when you haven’t had coffee in over 2 months.

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Speaking of Starbuck’s, let me offer a piece of advice to the 2 men who might occasionally read my blog. When a group of women are discussing pregnancy, labor, and delivery, it is never okay for you to add your story. Unless you have a uterus, it is just creepy to try and join the conversation. This odd man, probably around 30, overheard our conversation and said “I don’t mean to eavesdrop but…” then proceeded to talk about his wife having a c-section and how he didn’t want to look below the drape for fear it would change the way he looked at her for the rest of their lives. It was rather uncomfortable and a little creepy. So guys, error on the side of caution and just keep your thoughts to yourself. But thanks for making me worry that my husband may be repulsed by me in the future if he happens to look beyond the drape.

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Sabrina thinking about making a break for it:

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Doesn’t quite understand why she needs to wait until we get home to drink some milk:

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posted under Misc. | 17 Comments »

Rebel without a cause

January12

I had to get out of the house.  My poor husband had to listen to a hormone driven meltdown the other night about how I was falling into an ugly funk because of this damned bed rest.  I don’t understand how it can be good for anyone physically or mentally unless it is absolutely necessary (remember it is just a precaution in my case).  I couldn’t spend one more day staring at my 3 living room walls (open floor plan precludes a 4th wall) from my couch.  So out we went into the the big world today.  We stopped at the farmer’s market and discovered it is rather sad at this time of year.  The produce was severely lacking and due to remodeling the cool ethic lunch counters were small in number.  Then we drove around an area we hadn’t previously explored – we are always looking for areas to buy a house when the time comes (we like to pretend that our house in Pittsburgh might actually sell someday considering we are practically giving it away now).  Later we went out for dinner.  It felt good…it felt normal to get out of the house.  I’m 11 weeks tomorrow and I just can’t sit on my butt any longer.  I will take it easy and if there are any indications of a problem I will immediately plant my ass back on the couch.

Sabrina has too many toys after Christmas.  I need to weed through them.  I was going to donate the toys she seems to be done with but since we appear to be working on #2, I will have to put them away for her little brother or sister (someone asked…yes in my gut I am guessing a boy but that might just be because that is what we would like this time around…of course we will be happy with a healthy little girl too).  Sabrina has been having some trouble adjusting to the dimensions of our new (much larger) coffee table.  She keeps bumping her head.  We figure the learning curve has to kick in soon.

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posted under Pregnancy | 9 Comments »

LOVE this woman & I’ve been tagged

January10

I heart the mom who has dubbed herself the meanest mom in the world (actually the title likely came from her very unhappy teenage son). I applaud her for taking the measure needed to make her point with her son and to keep him safe.

Lori tagged me. It has been awhile since I’ve done a meme (I believe NaBloMe drove me to do a couple). Let me preface this by saying I don’t read books that are thought provoking. I read purely for pleasure. When I was still working in the field of social work, I would pick up books relevant to the work I was doing at the time but outside of work related material, I read constantly but I read beach books. So don’t expect any highfalutin (my spell check tells me that is one word – who knew?) answers here. But I swear I am smarter than my reading material makes me sound.

1. One book that changed your life. Superfudge by Judy Blume. One of my early grade school teachers read us a chapter every day after recess (to tame the beasts). I couldn’t wait for that chapter every day and would feel incredibly sad at the end of it each day. That sparked my realization that reading was fun. It started my trips to the library to find other books – first others by Judy Blume and then I branched out to Beverly Cleary’s Ramona series and Nancy Drew mysteries. I was essentially an only child (except every other weekend) so I had a lot of time to lose myself in books as a kid.

2. One book that you have read more than once. “Everything I need to know I learned in Kindergarten”. I haven’t read it in awhile but for many years, anytime I was feeling down that book would make me laugh and put a smile on my face. I rarely re-read books now – as a kid I re-read books all of the time. The Velveteen Rabbit, Black Beauty, Charlotte’s Web, Bunnicula – those I probably came close to wearing out.

3. One book you would want on a desert island. “It” by Stephen King. Why? Because it is long and I read it many years ago and remember loving it. I should be deep and say “War and Peace” but who would I be kidding?

4. One book that made you laugh. Anything by Janet Evanovich – the woman cracks me up.

5. One book that made you cry. The Lovely Bones and anything by Nicholas Sparks. I also seem to recall Little Women making me cry.

6. One book I wish I had written. I wish I had written down some of the wacky stories from my 20’s – work and personal. Being a social worker and a single 20-something provided some interesting stories! But then they might not have interested anyone but me!
7. One book you wish had never been written. None. I have no problem with anyone expressing their views in print – I’m just not interested in reading them all. That is the beauty of our free society.

8. One book you are currently reading. “The Darkest Evening of the Year” by Dean Koontz and “The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy”.

9. One book you have been meaning to read. “What to Expect When you are Expecting”. It is too big and I find myself on information overload whenever I break it out. If I have any questions, I will likely look there for an answer but I just don’t think I am up for really reading it. I find ignorance is bliss sometimes. I am taking this pregnancy in small chunks. If I look ahead to not being able to see my feet or labor, I will freak out. Oh and something by Wally Lamb so that I can finally tell Amy I did. Hopefully her taste in books is better than her taste in movies (love ya girl!)

I’m not going to tag anyone because I know everyone is busy…but anyone is welcome to participate if you need a topic or want to share!

posted under Misc. | 15 Comments »

Amazing news from Antigua!

January9

Cheri got the OUT call today!  After living in Antigua for over a year, being kicked out of PGN for months on end with no progress on the case, Cheri and Eliana will finally be heading home soon!  I can’t even begin to express what an incredible help Cheri was to me when I fostered in Antigua – from finding my house to getting water delivery set up to helping me find groceries.  And she has maintained such an incredible attitude through out all of this.  She is one strong woman.

Now we just need to get good news for Erin and both of our life boat girls will be on their way home!

posted under adoption | 11 Comments »

A post about nothing

January9

I have to be extremely careful with my blood sugar while I am pregnant.  This means I’ve had to give up or severely limit many things that I love (ice cream, chocolate, pasta, bread, tortilla chips, rice, cereal, etc).  I can small amounts of these things but I really miss them because I am trying to do everything I can to protect this pregnancy (and honestly I have trouble eating just a little pasta or chocolate).  I finally couldn’t stand it anymore and had to have some pasta for dinner.  I was rather dubious but bought this to try:

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5 grams of digestable carbs per serving (as opposed to 40+ in regular pasta) – meaning I could have it for dinner with a salad rather than some piddly little side dish of it.  I figured the worst case scenario is that is tasted like crap and I ate the yummy sauce with some low carb pita bread instead.  Folks, I couldn’t tell the difference between it and regular pasta.   And it has the added bonus of having protein and calcium in it.  So if for some reason you are watching carbs, give it a try.

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I saw a lot of this face yesterday:

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Pouty, cranky child.  She is cutting a couple of molars so I am trying to cut her some slack but yesterday wasn’t pretty.  I had a doctor’s appointment and had to take her with me.   We were there for over 2 hours so even I was getting cranky by the end of it.  When we got home, I gave her some lunch and tried to put her down for a nap.  She fought that nap for 2 solid hours before I finally admitted defeat.  I try really hard not to battle with her over things I can’t win but a nap-less Sabrina isn’t a pretty sight.

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Stolen from Jennefer’s blog, I thought this was a fun link.  You answer 11 questions and it tells you which presidential candidate you agree with most closely.  Sadly, my #1 match only agreed with 3 of my answers so I guess I’m all over the place.

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This post about bad parenting moments made me laugh yesterday.  It also made me feel like a better mom.

Ms. Fussypants wrote a post about dressing decently while pregnant.

posted under Misc. | 12 Comments »

Which is worse?

January8

The fact that I am willing to engage in a battle of wills with a 16 month old?  Or the fact that I am losing?

posted under parenting | 14 Comments »

Patience?

January7

My appointment this morning went fine.  It had the bare minimum of chastising involved which is usually one of my definitions of success.  I hate being scolded AND paying for the pleasure.  I don’t know why doctors find it difficult to speak to us like adults – but that is a rant for another day.

Baby looks good.  It was sleeping – the doctor had to jiggle things around to get it to move.  And she was finally able to do the traditional (external) ultrasound – woohoo!  Keeping my pants on is another sign of a successful visit in my book.

The chastising came along when I dared broach the subject of bed rest.  I told her I was beginning to get a little cranky and that I had no energy as a result of all this sitting around.  Then the scolding began.  I was reminded that I am only a little over 10 weeks pregnant and need to be patient.  (That is the short version of the scolding.)  I asked for some hope that she will let me off bed rest soon.  She agreed that after the first trimester, assuming there were no problems, she would let me do some things (notice she didn’t say I could resume life).  Then she quickly followed that with the info that depending on how my third trimester looks, I might have to find myself a comfy spot on the couch again.  I’m not even slightly amused by this.  Honestly, I’ve stopped the complete bed rest in the past week.  It just feels like it can’t possibly be healthy for me or the baby for me to be so sedentary – just taking a shower these days wears me out. Stop yelling at me internet!  I am still taking it easy and Steve yells at me when I don’t…but I’ve started doing a little more here and there so that I don’t go crazy and so that I don’t end up a lifeless slug.  (By the way…I did some research and there is no evidence that bed rest at this point in pregnancy is helpful in any way.  It is really a precautionary thing.)  Hopefully, bed rest will officially be lifted in just under 2 weeks.

So there is the update on Agent X (X = our last name).  Yes, that is what we are calling the fetus – for reasons that are probably only funny to us.  It all started with what I want to name a boy and the conversation degenerated from there.  Of course every time I say Agent X, I start singing “Secret Agent Man” in my head – what an awful song.

posted under Pregnancy | 19 Comments »
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