No chicken for you! Come back 1 year.
After getting my hair cut, I didn’t want to cook. At Steve’s request, I went to pick up some dinner at KFC. KFC doesn’t provide a plethora of choices. You’ve got chicken in a couple of forms and some side dishes. No burgers. No fish. No turkey clubs. Just chicken.
I pull into the drive thru and find the man in the car in front of me engaged in conversation with an employee through the intercom. I’ve learned to dial back my impatience a little bit here in the south. People here like to have conversations in situations in which northerners would cut you for making small talk. But there are limits.
Man: I’ve been wanting to try that new grilled kind. Is it good?
Employee: Most people seem to like it.
Man: If I didn’t get the grilled, what are your other kinds?
Employee: Regular and crispy.
Man: What is the difference? Is the regular crispy at all? Because my wife likes it pretty crispy.
Employee: It is a bit crispy but if she likes it crispy, you might want to order the crispy.
Man: I have some coupons at home. How much would I save with them?
Employee: I’m not sure sir – depends on the coupons.
Man: Should I go home and get them? We just live down the road a bit. We’ve never been to this KFC before even though we are just down the road. Oh probably only 2 miles or so.
Employee: If you want to go get the coupons, we can get you fixed up when you come back. (I must say, this young man had great patience. I could tell he was trying to hurry him along but he was never less than courteous.)
Man: Well, I just don’t know. And I’m not sure how many pieces to get. What do you think?
Employee: How many people are you feeding?
Man: 4 I think. Unless Bobby has a friend over. I think the 16 piece would be too much but the 12 piece might not be enough.
Employee: We have a special on the 7 piece for $9.99. You could get 2 of those.
Man: But then again if Bobby’s friend is there…
At this point, to avoid ramming my car into him, I drove around and went inside. I ordered, paid, and waited for our food. As the girl was handing me my order, the kid from the drive thru window came over and asked if I had been behind that gentleman. I laughed and said I had. He apologized profusely and I told him I thought he did a great job of dealing with him. He said he had JUST gotten him to pull ahead.
Memo #462
Dear Sir:
You are too stupid to order chicken. Go home.
Sincerely,
A woman who really wanted some mashed potatoes