I’ve been trying to keep the girls entertained since the departure of Grandma and Pap-pap.  Sabrina asks if we are going to swim every time we get in the car.  She has been very defiant (No! You can’t turn off the tv!) and rather mean to her sister (taking things out of her hands all. damn. day).  Guess I better get used to it – the threes are almost upon us.

Boredom buster #1- blocks

Boredom buster #2 – Popcorn (I have no idea why but popping and eating popcorn is a major highlight of her day)

Boredom buster #3 – Playdates.  Sabrina heard Steve and I say we were going on a date last weekend and immediately asked “Can I come too?”  We obviously told her no.  Today we went to play with another little girl.  She walked around all morning saying “I have a date.”

Can you tell by the cute matching outfits that Grandma was here recently?

The past week has been rather like a vacation for us.  Grandma and Pap-pap were in town.  Sabrina think Pap-pap hung the moon and that Grandma is the coolest thing since string cheese.  Tessa, who in the past wasn’t a fan of anyone who wasn’t a pre-designated bottle getter (read: mommy or daddy), decided that they were pretty cool too.

We went swimming almost every day.  (I actually got a little sun.)  Steve and I got to go out on a date: dinner (Carrabba’s Chicken Bryan and a pomegranate martini thanks for asking) and a movie (Harry Potter).  We all went out to dinner together one night (Applebee’s you are on notice – service sucked and food was borderline – you used to be a decent family restaurant choice).  We largely ignored our normal chores and errands to enjoy having family in town.

The girls are a little glum today realizing that Grandma and Pap-pap are gone.  They are once again stuck with me.  No afternoon juice box and cookies poolside.  No adults who are willing to read books endlessly (mommy’s limit is usually 4 at a time).  No one showing up with a new toy or outfit every day.  Even the dog is sad to see them go – they are willing to throw the ball for him way more often than I am.

If I had more time and was more creative, I would create a cheesy photo montage with the song “Memories” playing in the background.

You can’t see Pap-pap’s shirt clearly but it has 3 faces on it.  One is Pap-pap.  One is labeled Peanut (Sabrina).  And one is labeled Scoots (Tessa).

We miss you guys!  Thanks for the great visit!

I put on a bathing suit for the first time in 2 years.  That means the last time I wore it was pre-pregnancy.  It wasn’t pretty folks.  But I now look like I live somewhere that the sun shines occasionally.

Both girls love the water.  We’ve been swimming at the hotel with the grandparents.  It was Tessa’s first time to swim and we were surprised by how much she enjoyed it.  Sabrina loves the pool – I feel bad that she hasn’t been in one all summer but I just can’t handle 2 little ones at the pool alone and Steve has issues with public pools.

Sabrina is in heaven playing with grandma and pap-pap in the pool.  I attempted to play with her and she immediately demanded that I take her back to see pap-pap.  She’s also getting quite good at kicking around the pool with her water wings and innertube.

If you’ve been around the adoption blogosphere awhile, you may remember the woman who had both a biological and an adopted child then announced on her blog that her love for them was different.  If her biological child needed a kidney she wouldn’t think twice but that it just wasn’t the same with her adopted child.  Most of the adoption world was angered by this – my husband was enraged.  Now and then, as we sit and marvel at our beautiful Sabrina, he asks if I remember that.  I never thought I would be in a position to have a biological and an adopted child and be able to unequivocally say she was full of shit – but I do and can.  However, this has gotten the wheels in my brain turning.

I love my children with a ferocity that takes my breath away some days.  I love them equally but I love them differently.  I believe this is largely due to their differences as little people and not due to adoption or biology but those things can’t be completely taken out of the equation because it is part of who they are.

I loved the idea of Sabrina before she was born.  I loved her photo when we received her referral.  I loved her cute chubby self when we went to visit.  I fell in love with her when I lived in Guatemala with her.  It wasn’t easy and it was a process – but I became her mom.  I love Sabrina’s joy and her smile.  I love watching her learn new things – she is quite smart.  I love that she giggles over everything.  I love that she charms every person who comes into contact with her.  I love that she has sympathy for real and imagined “owies”.  And I love that she is my walking sunshine – even when she is being obstinate.  She is a beautiful child inside and out.  I also hold her a little tighter when I say good night because I know there is a woman in Guatemala living with a hole in her heart because she wanted to give this amazing child a different path in life.  (Please, not better – different.  It bothers me to hear adoptive parents or strangers assume that we are giving our adopted children a better life.  Who is to say it is better?  It is simply different.)  I want to love Sabrina enough for both of her mothers.

When I found out I was pregnant with Tessa, I was angry.  Angry because I was sure it meant yet another miscarriage and I didn’t want to go through that again.  As the days and then weeks passed, I was still pregnant.  Outwardly, I remained pessimistic but inside the hope was blooming.  Until the day she was born, there was a piece of me that was convinced something horrible was going to happen.  Then she was here and she was perfect.  I wasn’t prepared for the hormone driven tsunami of love and worry that immediately rushed over me.  Even when she made me weep out of exhaustion and frustration, I was overwhelmed by my love for her.  Tessa is very sweet and funny.  She makes the best faces and she makes me laugh every day.  She is smart and beautiful and mischievous.   She is going to be the one giving me gray hairs as she gets older and tests her limits and boundaries.  She is stubborn and becoming more of a giggler every day.  While her sister only has eyes for daddy, Tessa remains a momma’s girl.  She isn’t a big cuddler anymore but when she does snuggle up, I cherish those moments.  I am a little sad as she achieves each milestone because it takes her further from that baby that snuggled under my chin.

I love both of them with all of my heart but yes I love them in different ways for different reasons.

I’ll call this part 1 and  pick this subject up again next week.

Steve’s parents arrived today so posting might be spotty while they are in town.  I’m drafting a post about adoption vs biology because I’ve been giving that a lot of thought lately.  I don’t want to rush it because I don’t touch on the subject often (I keep things pretty light around here these days).  Look for that – otherwise I’ll try and slap up some photos so you all know I’m still alive and well.

First I saw it here.  Then I saw it here.  Whenever we go out for Mexican, I gravitate toward the items with salsa verde yet for some reason I never tried to make it at home.  I finally decided to give it a try because they made it look easy.

First I will say if I do this again, I will look for tomatillos on sale.  I paid more to make my own than I would have for the gourmet jarred variety.  (Tomatillos were $5 a lb.)  Second, I will add more heat.  Otherwise, it was quite yummy!

Salsa Verde

1.5 lbs tomatillos

1 sweet yellow onion

5 cloves of garlic

1/2 cup fresh cilantro leaves

Juice of 2 limes

2 jalapeno peppers (seeded if you want it cooled down – next time I won’t seed them)

1 serrano pepper (seeded if you want it cooled down)

1 Tbl red wine vinegar

1 Tbl sugar

1 tsp salt

1 tsp black pepper

Remove the papery husks from the tomatillos and wash off.  Slice each in half and put them cut side down on backing sheet.  Pop them under the broiler until the tops are slightly browned/blackened (about 6 min).  Then put everything in the food processor and pulse until mostly smooth.

Now what?  It was too late to make my chicken enchilada recipe, which is my favorite application for salsa verde at home.  I decided to make it faster by making it a casserole instead of rolling all of the enchiladas.  In my house, laziness is often the mother of invention.  So, I made up the filling for the enchiladas and then layered them in a round casserole dish with tortillas.  It wasn’t pretty but it was quite yummy.  For those who like details – spray the casserole dish with cooking spray.  Put 1 flour tortilla on bottom, put a layer of enchilada filling, another tortilla – you can put in 2 if you really like the tortillas, then more filling, then top with a tortilla.  Put the cheese on top, bake according to the enchilada directions and top with some more salsa and uncover for the last 1o minutes.

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