The movie about United flight 93, the 4^th plane from 9/11 that was brought down by its passengers, is being released this weekend. We live close to where it happened so there has been a lot of talk about the movie here. The families apparently cooperated with the making of the movie. Many of them turned over voicemail messages and gave transcripts of last phone calls. Will you see it? I’m not going to see it. At least not right now. Not because I feel it is too soon. Not because I object to Hollywood making money from the tragedy. Not because there was likely some dramatic license taken due to no one knowing exactly what transpired in those 90 minutes. For me, it is simply because I just don’t feel emotionally equipped.

9/11 is not a day I would choose to relive. I remember the feelings of horror and helplessness watching the events unfold on CNN. I was vacationing with my sister, her husband, and my ex-husband. It was my 29^th birthday. The guys left at dawn for a fishing trip and my sister and I went back to bed. She woke me up a couple of hours later telling me something was going on. She said something about a plane hitting a building in NYC. I rolled over to go back to sleep because she wasn’t the most reliable news source (she’s been known to quote the Enquirer). But something about her voice and what she said made me get up and go to the living room of our condo to see what was going on. My groggy mind had trouble wrapping itself around what I was seeing. I walked in just in time to see the second plane hit. I just remember sitting there watching the news in horror for hours. I remember hearing about flight 93 going down. As details came out over the next days and weeks, I thought about the brave and selfless act performed by those people. I have at different times since 9/11 thought of those people, as well as all of the people who died in the other planes and in the World Trade Towers. I just can’t sit through a 90 minute movie – it’s more sorrow than I can bear. I won’t forget. It isn’t fading. I just can’t handle it in a movie theater. Maybe I’ll rent it on my birthday some year and watch it from the safety of my couch. With a box of Kleenex. Or two.

God Bless all of the victims and their families. God Bless the crisis workers who worked through the aftermath. God Bless everyone who lost a little bit of innocence and peace of mind that day.

10% of the box office proceeds from the first 3 days will be donated to the flight 93 memorial fund (I would rather see it go to the families but no one consulted me). Is anyone out there braver than me? Planning to see it?