Steve felt after the incredible success of our home study, we should give others some tips to make sure their home studies are also a raging success. (Who says geeks can’t be funny?)

DO….

cut “the jungle”, also known as your lawn

remove all rusted appliances and car parts discovered in your front lawn

unplug any device known to cause erratic, unpredictable electrical fires

put all bondage, S&M, and/or drug paraphernalia in a locked trunk inside a locked closet

politely ask all redneck neighbors to chain their dog, clean up the beer cans, turn off their TV, lock the kids in their bedrooms

DON’T….

refer to the coal cellar as the “time out zone”

mention how nice everyone in your Hell’s Angels group is

say “the old ball and chain” in reference to anything

wear a tie – you’re just trying too hard

look at the dog’s cage longingly when asked about your child care plan

kick/punch the dog, spouse, cat, walls, or social worker during the visit

say “Don’t ask me, this is gonna be HER kid”