Adoption Readiness Quiz
June4
Think you might want to pursue an international adoption? Take this handy dandy quiz to see if adoption is for you!
- When faced with a long list of paperwork to collect and/or fill out, you:
- Break tasks down into manageable chunks and tackle them in an orderly, organized fashion – one thing at a time
- Think about proceeding as in a. but quickly lose the list and just complete things as you remember them
- Approach the task as a race – if you are told it will take 2 – 3 months to complete, immediately decide that you, being superior, can complete it in 30 days and begin harassing every agency and individual you need assistance from in completing your paperwork. In 30 days, your paperwork is not complete and you have a bleeding ulcer.
- Assume the fetal position in the corner of a dark room.
- When requiring assistance from a government official you:
- Be firm but pleasant when expressing your need for the form/letter/file
- Bake cupcakes to give to the official for doing such a wonderful job but accidentally drop them on his desk getting icing all over your form and everything else
- Tell the official that he doesn’t “know who you are dealing with here” and proceed to threaten to hunt down his children and his children’s children. Call husband for bail.
- Begin rocking back in forth while in the fetal position in the corner of a dark room just thinking about dealing with the government.
- Faced with the costs of international adoption, you:
- Think “no problem, we’ll sell a few stocks and use our savings, piece of cake!”
- Decide it will work out as you go along, God will provide, besides, all the money you find in pants pockets while doing money goes in the jar marked “Adoption Fund”
- Begin a funding raising campaign, hitting up every friend and family member, even those who are relegated to your Christmas card list. You. Will. Make. This. Happen.
- Throw applesauce on your head while rocking back in forth while in the fetal position in the corner of a dark room.
- When forced to relinquish control of important things to others (e.g. waiting for a foreign government to decide that you can come and pick up your child), you:
- Let go and let God. You can’t waste time worrying about what you can’t control. It will happen eventually so you find things to keep yourself busy while waiting for The Call.
- Are completely unable to concentrate on anything. You can’t finish a sentence, you leave your keys, stalk other people’s timelines while at work, run red lights…what was I saying?
- You don’t give up control to anyone. You hound your senator and the embassy demanding answers. You will not let some dictator of some third world country stand between you and your child.
- Crawl under the bed and hope that your husband can find you when The Call comes.
If your answers were mostly “a” – I hate you. Go find Martha Stewart and make tea pot covers for the homeless. (This is the person I pretend to be. It’s all a big lie.)
If your answers were mostly “b” – You should wear a helmet for your own protection. (I sadly resemble this one in many ways.)
If your answers were mostly “c” – Weren’t you my freshman year room mate? (I also pretend to be this person but after I actually look at my lists…well…see below…)
If your answers were mostly “d” – Come and join me. I have vodka under the bed with me.
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