Michelle Smiles

Teaching my children to question authority, except mine.

Let’s play pretend

November28

Am I the only one who sometimes feels like she is pretending at the whole grown up thing?  I was walking down the street at lunch time and passed this woman.  She was probably a couple of years older than me.  She was dressed well and had an easy smile.  My first thought when I saw her was that she looked like such a grown up.  I don’t know if I look like a grown up but I know that there are a lot of days when I don’t feel like a grown up – I just feel like I am doing a passable imitation of one.

Don’t get me wrong, I behave like a grown up the majority of the time.  I just don’t feel much different than I did at 19.  By all outward appearances, I appear to be a grown up.  I have a home, a checking and savings account, a tiny bit of money in a retirement fund, own a pet, own a car, take vacations, and am adopting a child.  That’s all pretty grown up sounding.  Yet I often find myself thinking “Wow, that is something a grown up would do!” when I plan a vacation or buy a car (or decide to adopt a child!).  Is there a point at which I start feeling like grown up full time?  Will becoming a mom do that for me?  I’m just curious because it would be weird to be 64 and saying “wow, that’s totally something a grown up would do!”

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