I’m back from hiatus.  I want to express my gratitude to both blogworld and real world friends.  I’ve been so touched by everyone’s support.  I’ve had 68 wonderful comments, many private email, a card from a blogger friend, friends and my boss drove from the city to my home town to attend the visiting hours yesterday (that’s almost 2 hours), old friends from home who made it to the funeral today, flowers, and a collection taken up by my co-workers accompanied by a wonderful card.  I’m amazed by the outpouring of love and support.  Nothing makes it better but it all helps.

The past 5 days have been horrible and wonderful.  My father was a magistrate and was so excited about the court house that was just completed in his town.  He talked of little else for months and traveled around to see the state of the art features they might include.  Before we had lunch last Tuesday, he gave me a tour and proudly showed me all of the features.  There was little he loved more than being a judge and lawyer.  He always said his worst day practicing law was better than the best day doing anything else.  Friday was the scheduled community open house for the new court house and rather than cancel it, they also made it a memorial service for dad.  It was very touching – they presented my step-mother with a photo of him presiding over the first trial in the new court room.  It was a nice tribute to him and gave me an opportunity to see many old friends from the legal community.  Sunday was visiting hours and this morning was the funeral.  We talked with many old friends and heard many fun stories about Dad in his glory days – so we had laughter mixed with our tears.

Now that the details and rituals are over, we all have to work to get back to the business of living without him in our lives.  That’s the rough part.  As much as I hate visiting hours and funerals, I think those things give us something to focus on so we can forget the reality of living our daily lives without that person there for just a little while.  I worry about my stepmom now that everyone is leaving…facing the 2 coffee cups set out by the coffee maker, the slippers by the recliner, the shaving kit in the bathroom, the empty side of the bed.  Those things are harder than any of the rituals we just observed.   I still grieve the fact that Sabrina will never know her grandpa and that Dad never got to hold her or see his baby girl with her baby girl.   I know he read my blog so he saw the photos…that is a small comfort.

One piece of good news: we finally entered Family Court on Friday.