Michelle's Front Page

Can’t I just have a little normal?

February 4th, 2008

Saw the doctor today.

First thing she said to me was “You are starting to look pregnant.”

Her nurse responded “I’m sure that isn’t what you wanted to hear this morning.”

And I said “Actually, I thought I just looked fat so I’ll take pregnant.”

Everything looks fine.  The baby was kicking and flipping up a storm.  Too early to determine if it is a boy or a girl (I’m 14 weeks and 1 day right now).  In 6 weeks she wants to do an amnio (or the BFN – Big F*cking Needle – test as Steve calls it).

I continue to want to smack my doctor upside the head.  She is still insisting on weekly appointments.  The only upside of this is that I get to see the baby every week (she does an ultrasound at every appointment).  The downside of this is that she stresses me out.  Her new thing today was she wants to do a cervical cerclage soon.  This is where they basically sew my cervix shut until I reach 37 weeks.  She said she would require me to be on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy (that is 5 months).  WHAT?  I’ve done some research on this (she told me to look it up on the internet when I balked in her office so my googling was doctor’s orders) and don’t know what to do.

I hate this.  My initial reaction is absolutely not.  I don’t want to be on bed rest – it was starting to make me feel majorly depressed and physically I felt horrible from the lack of activity.  I don’t believe I meet the criteria for doing the cerclage (a previous second trimester pregnancy loss, a previous cone biopsy or LEEP procedure, or an incompetent cervix).  Both of my previous miscarriages were early and the babies died before the miscarriage (no heart beat…go home and let nature take its course kind of thing).  I’ve never had the middle thingy.  And I have no reason to believe my cervix is incompetent (I will admit to calling my ovaries incompetent in the past when I wasn’t ovulating but we’ve made up) and the websites say it is difficult to diagnose.  When I asked her why she wanted to do this she cited my previous miscarriages but I truly believe it is apples and oranges.  I’ve never made it this far in a pregnancy.  This is uncharted territory for me.  She also mentioned I have a short cervix.  I don’t know what this means but she hasn’t touched my cervix in months so I have no idea how she knows anything about the condition of my cervix.  If we could do it without the bed rest, I might be willing to discuss it.  I can’t face 5 months of bed rest – it isn’t good for my psyche or for Sabrina.

But then there is that little voice in the back of my head that asks what if something happens and I could have prevented it.   Can you get a second opinion on something that is just precautionary to begin with?  Will any one say it isn’t indicated when it is a cover your ass kind of procedure?  Why can’t everyone leave me alone and let me eat ice cream and get fat?

This entry was posted on Monday, February 4th, 2008 at 1:52 pm and is filed under Pregnancy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

43 Responses to “Can’t I just have a little normal?”

  1. Alleen Says:

    OK, assvice coming here…. I would definitely get a 2nd opinion. Can you get an appt with a perinatolgist in the area? Is she one? I have to agree with you.. I’ve never heard of doing a cerclage just because someone had 2 early miscarriages before. Because of later iones yes, but so early????? I would absolutely get a 2nd opinion ASAP. Find out more about your cervix and just how short it is. That can be a concern.


  2. Amy from AB Says:

    Definitely get a second opinion!!! Something doesn’t sound right, and you should go with your gut!

  3. Dirkey Says:

    yeah if it were me I would get a second opinion, it sounds like she is trying to cover her own butt. I would also check on all the tests she’s giving you, as some tests can have a negative affect on the baby(don’t want to freak you out but its something to research). There are pro’s and con’s to everything just make sure that you are comfortable and understand whatever decisions you make with your pregnancy.

  4. Cheryl Says:

    2nd opinion!!!! And maybe even go for 2 out of 3.

  5. Angie Says:

    I agree Michelle, get the 2nd opinion. This seems awfully extreme to me. I am sure she has your best interests in mind, but 5 months of bed rest is not good for you for many reasons. Good luck!

  6. Muriel Says:

    I am thinking it is time to change doctors. She answers her own phone and is insisting on weekly visits and procedures that do not seem necessary. It seems to me she may not have a lot of clients and is trying to make some money. I have had previous miscarriages…same thing as you and I even had a colposcopy and my doc so far is not mentioning this procedure.

  7. Pocklock Says:

    I agree with the rest of the group. Second opinion. Are you totally in love with that practice? Is there another doctor within the practice that might disagree with yours?

    I have my 12-week ultrasound Thursday and my follow-up appointment on Friday. Trying to not be nervous…

    Sending you good thoughts!

  8. AUTUMN Says:

    OH yeah second opinion. If you were closer, I would get you an appt. with a family friend who rocks as a obgyn.

  9. TNKerry Says:

    Get a second opinion and I think I would change doctors. I tend to be a little conservative with all procedures, but I wouldn’t even do an amnio and the only way I would do a cerclage is if it really seemed like a neccesary procedure. Go with your gut on this…

  10. DD Says:

    Should I go ahead and say it?

    2nd Opinion

    If I’m understanding correctly, you did not have preterm labor and then lose the pregnancies so I’m not sure what she’s basing your “incompetent cervix” on as that has not been proven or disproven at this point.

    My OB said I can make appointments based on my need, not his. Yours should be doing the same.

  11. Merrill Says:

    Hi Michelle,

    I vote for the second opinion too! Also, what about having ( I think they refer to it as) a level 3 ultrasound before scheduling the big needle test? The level 3 is a good screening tool and it’s non-invasive. No need to subject yourself and baby to a test that might not be necessary.

  12. Kim Says:

    I say second opinion too! I don’t even like the idea of weekly US, let alone something that you may not need. Follow your gut.

  13. Steph Says:

    Michelle, I 2nd the 2nd opinion advice.

    I had a LEEP procedure 4 months before I “fell pregnant” unexpectedly with my first child (okay, got knocked up 4 months before my wedding) – I BEGGED for a cerclage b/c I was so worried about a late miscarriage. I was seeing a maternal/fetal medicine specialist (b/c of the LEEP and the risk) and he felt it wasn’t necessary.

    Obviously if something had happened I would have died a thousand deaths, but it’s not just a procedure – it’s a lifestyle change – and I think it warrants a visit to a high risk OB for a consult.

    Good luck in your decision making! :)

  14. Aardvark Says:

    I also had a leep done before I got pregnant and my doctor never even considered a cerclage. I would look into a second opinion. Why are you having an amnio? I understand that your previous miscarriages play into some risk…but something seems a bit off to me. In other news…the dr I saw today used a snarky voice to point out that I have gained weight. (Hello…pregnant!)

  15. elle Says:

    Ok, second opinion. I’m all about seeing the right doc (miss 3 obs later). Second, put off that amnio. Don’t do it unless it is totally necessary, say… after you get the second opinion.

  16. Kelly Says:

    I think I would get a second opinon on both the amnio and the cervix stuff. I would be really happy that my Dr wants to be cautious but I wouldnt want to do it unless it is neccesary.
    Good luck!
    Now, go eat some ice cream!

  17. Jenny Says:

    2nd op!

  18. waiting line Says:

    Hiya, just catching up! Holy cow – congratulations on your pregnancy. Hang in there.

    And, yeah, I agree with everyone else so far (for what its worth). 2nd opinion – go for it! ((Cerclages themselves are not without risk, so it’s not a good idea to get one unless you NEED it.))

  19. Julie Lussier Says:

    yikes. i know NOTHING about pregnancy or sewing you up. i like that she is cautious. just me since I have not been pregnant.

    getting a second opinion. i know that sounds………..easier said than done in my book. i wanted to say that too, but I say to do it if you gut tells you. getting a second opinion in my book would be hard for me to go to another doctor after i chose this one.

    go with your gut. i am a scaredy cat anyway and would love the over protectiveness of this doctor since if I ever got pg I would probaby not move for 9 months anyway. hee hee

  20. carla Says:

    oh friend. I see you over there. the one between the rock and hard place.

    this? made me smile: Everything looks fine

    as did the ice cream consumage and portly-ness.

    the rest? I need to mull…wish I had any better insights or thoughts.


  21. Tricia Says:

    How about this….I will sacrifice and eat some ice cream on your behalf (along with my cupcakes!) tonight!!!!!


  22. Tricia Says:

    Okay How about this….I will sacrifice and eat some ice cream on your behalf (along with my cupcakes!) tonight!!!!!


  23. Trace Says:

    Obviously I’ve never been pregnant, but I have been in the what if I don’t do something and it could have been prevented situation. It’s why I take my MS drug. Yes, it’s a pain in the a**, it’s a daily injection, and it 1700.00 a months (thank god for insurance). I also decided to watch my diet and add exercise. In other words everything under my control I did. My thinking was that if god forbid my MS progressed I won’t have a shred of guilt. I won’t think, if only I had taken Co.paxone, if only I had exercised, if only, if only… The what if & possible guilt that goes along with it sucks. Good luck w/your decision. And getting a second opinion always helps.

  24. Melissa Says:

    Just have to chime in with everyone else and say…..2nd opinion. These procedures (cerclage and amnio) bring about their own set of risks and complications so you want to make sure that it is necessary before you do it. She just seems a little “too much” – weekly visits, every procedure in the book, etc.

  25. Priscilla Says:

    Yo, find thee a high risk OB! My sister was high risk for several reasons, and even she didn’t have to go in once a week. What would it hurt to get a second opinion with a specialist? Perhaps the med center at Vanderbilt might have a group? Or call the L&D floor at your hospital of choice and ask them who their fave is?

    I seem to remember that our health insurance plan has a program for high risk mothers, where you have a nurse you can call and ask questions…maybe they could help?

    Wishing your blog pals could fix this for you! :)

  26. Lori Says:

    I’m clueless! It sounds like you should talk with someone else though!! I’m hoping you don’t have to do anymore bedrest! Yuck1!

  27. Emily Says:

    My sister has that done, she had 3 miscarriages and on her 4th pregnancy she had a cerclage. She said it wasnt as bad as it sounds. She also had an amnio and said she worked herself up for nothing. I know that does not help AT ALL, but I thought I would throw that out there.

  28. Cindy Says:

    Same as everyone else!! Second opinion soon. I do not understand why she wants to do an amnio….what is the point?

  29. Rachael Says:

    I’m trying to bite my tongue, but I’m screaming second opinion at you. See a perinatologist. In fact, if your pregnancy is truly high risk, you should be able to ask your doctor to refer to you one for a consult without having to go behind her back. If it’s not high risk, well, why do you need all this stuff?

  30. Cindy M Says:

    You definitely need to see a perinatologist for a 2nd opinion. I’ve never heard of having the cerclage placed because you’ve had 2 first trimester losses, HOWEVER… if your cervix is short that may be why she’s considering it. I’m not sure what type of ultrasounds you’ve had, but with the probe kind they can measure the length of the cervix. I’ve had 3 cerclages placed due to incompetent cervix which caused me to dialate at 21 weeks. 2 were successful as they were placed before I started to dialate. It was worth it in my case because I knew I wouldn’t go full term. As it was, I was still 7 weeks early with my last one.

    Get that 2nd opinion though.

  31. Laurie Says:

    I agree with everyone else, get a second opinion by someone more highly qualified (i.e. high risk OB). As for the amnio, it’s a highly personal decision. We did a super duper u/s instead at a high tech hospital. Obviously it isn’t as definite as an amnio, but it was all I wanted for reassurance as I was too afraid to do an amnio (even though they are quite safe). I don’t know enough about the cerclage but I’d make sure she is actually measuring your cervix by saying it is “short”.

  32. Gibb Says:

    I know your point is more about the cerclage and I can’t help you with that one. But I did have an amnio done and really it is no big deal at all.

  33. mama k Says:

    Second opinion. Definitely.
    That sounds pretty major. The benefits of a proceedure should outweigh any possible risk to you and the baby. It seems to me that you are uncomfortable with it. And not to mention you don’t seem very thrilled with the Dr to begin with. You want someone you absolutely trust caring for you throughout your pregnancy and ultimately calling the shots in the delivery room.
    It would not hurt at all to get a second opinion. If they agree, then at least you will feel a little better about going for it.

    And isn’t there a slight risk of miscarrage from an amnio? I am a little younger, but I opted not to get any testing beyond the basic blood work. (No quad 4, no amnio) I knew that any possible odd test results were not going to effect my decision to carry to term and they are not incredibly accurate. I didn’t see the point stressing about something that may or may not be true. JMO.

  34. Sarah Says:

    You have gotten alot of good advice… just letting you know that I am thinking about you and know you will do what is best for the FOUR of you. Hang in there!!! And, congratulations on “looking” pregnant since you are!! LOL!!

  35. Bobbi Says:

    You’re Dr. is giving me the creeps. I am all for thorough, but COME ON NOW!! I second the amnio question. You’re not Grannie age–unless it is for another medical reason.

  36. Samantha Says:

    i was just reading your post and thinking to myself how much you need a second opinion and lo-and-behold i wasn’t the first one to come up with that idea! i think an ob that specializes in high risk pregnancies would serve you well. you’ll be on the easier side of things for someone like that. seems like your current ob is a little bit over the top…or at least not so much in alignment with what YOUR values are. this is the most important thing. sounds like she’d be pretty quick with aggressive intervention during a birth too, which isn’t necessarily what you’d want either.

    as a doctor i ALWAYS welcome my patients to get another opinion. and if they find a practitioner that is a better match? well, that’s where they should be.


  37. Kandice Says:

    As a Dr., this definately doesn’t sound right. You need to change Dr’s ASAP while your still early in the game.

  38. kelly Says:


    I agree on a 2nd opinion. This doc seems a tiny bit over the top!

    They can measure cervix length on U/s…and I had the short cervix thing…along with every other problem known to mankind. That combined with ?preterm labor? put me on bedrest for a looooooong time. I delivered at 39 weeks (induction). I still wonder if any of it was necessary. But…of course would do it all again the exact same way to get the same result.

    But…a second opinion will give you alot of answers.

    Good luck and I am so glad baby is fine!!

  39. jenn Says:

    First, I’m glad the baby is doing well! That’s great news.

    On to everything else. I would get a second opinion. Honestly, it doesn’t seem like you would need the cerclage. I’m even questioning the amnio. A second opinion wouldn’t hurt anything…and third opinion if needed would be fine.

    Good luck and keep us posted.

  40. Ruthie Says:

    I only looked at the first three responses…and I’ll fourth it! You need to go get a second opinion. I had to restrain myself from not commenting last time you posted about your doctor…something just isn’t right. One of the big things I’ve learned about parenting is that God gave us all instincts…we just have to teach ourselves to listen to them! Case in point…I had to insist that our doctor order a stool sample for our son (home about 10 weeks now) who is having unexplained diarhea. The doctor swears he is just adjusting to the US, our food, water, milk, etc. I can’t wait for the results to come back…I bet I’m right…the boy has a parasite…at least I really hope so because I am so tired of changing and washing smelly clothes, bed linens, my clothes, towels, etc! Of course if it isn’t a parasite, I’ll be left with egg on my face and poop on everything else!! :) GO WITH YOUR GUT!!!

  41. erinberry Says:

    I have no new insight to offer as I vote for “second opinion” as well!

  42. cindi Says:

    hi michelle, long time no chat, and big congrats on your pregnancy. definitely get the 2nd opinion, and i think from a high risk OB (perinatologist – sp?) is a great idea. i had three miscarriages myself – all after seeing heartbeats on ultrasound, but all before the end of the first trimester. so, lots of research done on miscarriage over the years, and never have i heard of a cerclage for early losses where cervical incompetence didn’t seem to be the reason. but, i remember reading that there was a small (very) chance of causing a miscarriage from inserting a cerclage and thinking “hmmm”. and of the people i know who received cerclages, 5 months of bedrest was certainly not automatic. usually only reserved for those who were really showing signs of cervical incompetence or preterm labor.

    so, i think you instincts are dead on, and it will be interesting to see what another professional thinks. good luck finding said professional – that always seems to be the hardest part… best, cindi

  43. Tera Says:

    Hi Michelle. I am way late reading this. My heart just sank for you as I read. : ( Being between a rock and a hard place medically is difficult for sure. I’m sorry that you are going through this. : ( I probably would get a second opinion, even if what is being discussed is “precautionary”…especially if doc number 1 is insisting on a precautionary measure that might not be warranted.

    You said, “But then there is that little voice in the back of my head that asks what if something happens and I could have prevented it.” *sigh* I thought of that too as I read your post. Not ever having being pregnant, and having wanted to be pregnant very badly, I know that protected that wee one would be heavy on my mind.

    You are in a tough spot, Michelle. Thinking of you… God bless.

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