Where is my Northerner In The South handbook?
Okay…I heard you all loud and clear. I need to shut up and pull over when I see a funeral procession. I need my North to South handbook some days. Things I’ve learned so far:
1. Meat & 3 = some sort of cured, fried, or baked meat with 3 veggies (veggies meaning mac & cheese, mashed potatoes, green beans with bacon, corn, applesauce, etc).
2. Women are expected to look well groomed at all times in public. This includes lipgloss or lipstick. Men are considered well groomed if they are wearing a shirt.
3. Shorts are for the beach or the back yard not the grocery store even when it is 106 degrees.
4. The threat of snow is enough to close schools.
5. Turn signals are for uptight Northerners.
6. The standard ‘slower traffic keep right’ rule doesn’t apply here.
7. When ordering iced tea, you must be very clear on wanting it ‘unsweet’.
8. “Bless your heart” isn’t always meant as a nice thing. Sometimes it means the person thinks you are dumb as a stump or incredibly rude but they are too polite to say so.
9. Church is serious business down here. There are many. They are large. And they are so well attended that many require police men to direct traffic before and after services.
10. People don’t complain about the heat until the asphalt has reached an almost liquid consistency but they will complain about the cold once it dips below 50.
Just so we are clear, I ignore much of what I have learned but I will pull over for funeral processions if that is how people show their respect here.
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Now a little weekend cuteness. Sabrina received this caterpillar from Aunt Rusty and Uncle Mike for Christmas. She was a little small for it then. We brought it back out and she is still a bit on the small side but has discovered it has a much better use than riding.
Running into and over the puppy.
Glad to know you’re starting to see things in a Southern light! We don’t know any different. We aren’t all redneck hicks like a lot of Northerners think we are…we are just more laid back than most. This of course also means that shoes are optional. 🙂
I am SOOO laughing! But you know that for this southern girl the shorts rule does not apply… I bought 2 more pairs today and cannot WAIT to get them on… and just so you know, I was not a big tea drinker at all until I met my husband and his family, and then I had no idea that UN-sweet was even an option.
I checked out that worm thing for E… that thing is cute… and so is the sweet thing on it.
LOVE the bless your heart one.
So true.
oh, and as usual I love sabrinas FACE.
her expressions are priceless.
Funny Stuff!! I had a roommate from S. Carolina and she would NOT step foot outside of the dorms without being done up just right…it made this born and raised Western girl crazy 🙂
Ok, if I come to the South I will follow your rules. WOW!! Who knew???? They should leave a handbook in the rentals.
That poor dog——–and another partner in crime on the way!!
Sabrina is sooooooooooo cute!!
I giggled at this post. I almost died in the Atlanta airport when I went to get a bite to eat…some folks tried to convince me that mac n cheese is a SALAD…LOL!!
And, today in Minnesota, it was barely 60 and there were plenty of people walking around in shorts and t’shirts…LOL.
Have a great week and God bless.
i’m not sure i’ve ever even met anyone actually from the south, but i’ll watch out the next time i hear someone say “bless your heart!” thanks for the heads up.
we’ve got the same thing here in oregon as tera in minnesota…it hits 55 or 60 and people are walking around in shorts and flip flops.
and one last comment: HOLY FLASHBACK on the inchworm. didn’t everyone have one of those (in the early 70s?)
What a beautiful smile Sabrina has. She sure is cute!!!!
I too am new to the South. When I say new I’m really 10 years into the sentence but still not quite acclimated. It takes some getting used to. Everything you said is absolutely true. Especially the sweet tea thing. I still can’t drink that syrupy mess they call tea.
Ok – I have to admit… I never really noticed the shorts thing (like not wearing them to the grocery store, etc.) Have people been giggling at my daisy dukes as I go pick up my kids from daycare?! LOL I’m kidding (about the daisy dukes) but I am going to have to watch more now.
TOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!! You just crack me up!!!
I just wouldn’t make it in the South. No shorts at the grocery store? The only chance I get to dress down is on the weekend and I’m gonna take advantage of it.
I think you need to write that book.
All of the things you mentioned are reasons why you will never catch me south of the Mason Dixon line for longer than necessary… Supermarkets are for sweatpants, baby.
Just be a fashion rebel (like me). This southern girl thinks dressing up to go to the grocery store is ridiculous, petty and vain. Comfort rules my fashion checklist.
Love the rule book.
All this time I thought my very Southern step MIL was being sweet when she said “Bless your heart.” Thanks to you, I’m on to her now.
Also, on the bless your heart note: Southerners also will insult someone then end it with a “bless his/her heart”. Kind of like a turd wrapped in a snuggly blanket. For example:
“She is the dumbest, laziest woman I’ve ever met, bless her heart.” Or “He is uglier than sin and smells bad, bless his heart.”
Almost like the poor soul can’t help it, bless their heart.
Cute pictures, I had forgotten all about the Inchworm!!
Hi- I just found your blog. I moved to the South from Seattle 6 years ago. Learned the hard way, too. Have you heard of “bush hogging” yet? =) Anyway, I’ve been all over your blog already, and I love it! Thanks!
Bless your heart! what an adjustment! ;0)
These are all so so true – Sean and I often discuss the fact that no one uses turn signals. And also, upon moving here, I told him that he would see women accessorized like never before. They believe in accessories down here.
Oh my gosh, I am laughing so hard I am crying, “bless my heart!” Your daughter is beautiful!
Sabrina is ADORABLE! I am gettin’ a kick out of your 10 things you have learned! I’m in AR and for many, sweat pants IS dressed up! 🙂 Lots of people can’t merge either, unless they are in a big city like Dallas!