Michelle Smiles

Teaching my children to question authority, except mine.

Color my face red

May6

I swear there is a whole category of weird and humiliating things that seem to fall into the “only happen to me” genre.  They must happen to other people too…maybe they aren’t dumb honest enough to admit it to the whole internet.

I had several places to be this morning:  the doctor’s office, the old apartment, the post office, and finally meeting the hubby for lunch.  Notice that meeting my hubby for lunch is the last on that list.  As Steve and I are waiting in line to order at a Mongolian BBQ, a woman comes up and says “Excuse me ma’am.”  I thought I was in her way and tried to move.  She moved her face closer to mine, causing me to give her an odd look and try to back away.  It turns out, she wasn’t trying to invade my space, she was trying to be somewhat discreet in telling me I HAD A HUGE HOLE IN MY SKIRT AND MY ASS WAS HANGING OUT FOR ALL OF THE WORLD TO SEE.

Just so no one thinks I am exaggerating, here is the hole with my hand to demonstrate the amount of skin and underwear I was flashing:

dsc06190.JPG

It is a broomstick skirt so there is a lot of extra material so it wasn’t that my pregnant butt was too big for it…apparently buying a cheap skirt at Sam’s Club is just asking for an embarrassing moment.

I’ve been sitting here wondering all afternoon exactly how long my butt was hanging out before someone had the courage to be kind and tell me.

posted under humor
37 Comments to

“Color my face red”

  1. On May 6th, 2008 at 2:23 pm HabeshaChild Says:

    wow – that is certainly impressive.

    remember “wrap” skirts? “recipe for disaster”, that’s what they should have been called. one day mine became untied without my knowledge and fell clean off me. MORTIFYING.

    I feel your pain.

  2. On May 6th, 2008 at 2:40 pm Stacy Says:

    Whole butt hanging out of a gaping hole at work. And I teach middle school…

  3. On May 6th, 2008 at 2:55 pm cindi Says:

    ok, here’s something to make you feel better: more than a couple times in my 19 years as a flight attendant i have witnessed women exit the lavatory in the back of the aircraft with either their skirt stuck into their hose (exposing their bottoms through the hose) OR, a long trail of toilet paper trailing out from the top of their underwear/hose out through the bottom of their skirt. no matter how quickly you try to catch them as they saunter back up the aisle in front of all of the faces staring ahead, with nothing better to look at, it is always too late… or, we miss it and another passenger catches it and wants us to inform them. and it’s not like you can disappear anywhere onboard a plane for the next four hours after that…

  4. On May 6th, 2008 at 3:05 pm Amy Says:

    Thanks for giving me something to laugh about on this long Tuesday afternoon!

  5. On May 6th, 2008 at 3:23 pm Trace Says:

    Thanks for the laugh!

  6. On May 6th, 2008 at 3:46 pm Kristi Says:

    Awe thats a shame! Totally something that would happen to me too. I was at a yardsale one time with the comfy-est pants in the whole world. I was walking around wondering why it got so chilly and realized that my pants had split from mid butt to mid thigh as I was putting my hand in my back pocket. Totally feel your pain chickie!

  7. On May 6th, 2008 at 3:57 pm juju Says:

    THAT is hysterical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. On May 6th, 2008 at 4:31 pm Cass Says:

    I blushed for you too. And you are totally not alone – this would totally happen to me.

  9. On May 6th, 2008 at 5:36 pm Gibb Says:

    Ha ha ha…I’m laughing with you…not at you…I swear!! You are laughing,too, right?! Yesterday, hubby and I spent the afternoon with big guy celebrating his birthday. Then we went to pick up little guy at day care. After we got back I sat down on a chair and something didn’t feel right. You guessed it…hole in pants!! Same as you…no idea how long it had been there. I guess yesterday was show your ass to the world day!!!!!

  10. On May 6th, 2008 at 5:46 pm Gwen Says:

    Too funny! At least someone had the balls to tell you.

    At my last job I got done with a client (I’m an etheticain) and the client was in the room getting dressed and I went up to the bathroom and then up to the computer to meet her and schedule her next appointment. As she comes out of the room a coworker comes up and says, “Gwen what is that hanging out of your pants?” I turn around and say, “I don’t see anything.” Then she says, “OH MY GOD IT IS TOLIET PAPER.” Apparently I had a big long tail of toliet paper following me. It was my 2nd week at this new job too for a while I was know as T.P. So yes it does happen.

  11. On May 6th, 2008 at 6:00 pm Debra Says:

    HaHa…thanks for the laugh! I guess you can be grateful you were wearing underwear 🙂

  12. On May 6th, 2008 at 6:16 pm Tam Says:

    OMG! Yeah, I’d be obsessing about how long I walked around like that, too. Thanks for the laugh.

  13. On May 6th, 2008 at 6:17 pm Angie Says:

    Oh my goodness that kills me!!!! That really was freaking hilarious!

  14. On May 6th, 2008 at 6:51 pm Megan Says:

    ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

  15. On May 6th, 2008 at 7:12 pm artsweet Says:

    Were you wearing underwear? “My ass was hanging out” sort of implies commando…

  16. On May 6th, 2008 at 7:44 pm Ashley Says:

    LOL.
    One of my worse fears.
    Sorry your ass was seen by many today.
    Oh, didn’t your husband see it? Or he may just not have minded!

  17. On May 6th, 2008 at 8:25 pm Muriel Elrod Says:

    so a few years ago I had tooo many drinkie poohs and it was my hubby’s birthday. He was sitting at a table in the bar with his buddies and their wives. I deceided to give him a lap dance and kicked my ge over him and totally blew out the crotch of my pants with a loud ripping noise. very very very bad.

  18. On May 6th, 2008 at 8:32 pm Lori Says:

    OMG! I’m sorry that happened but how nice of that lady to help you. She was probably embarrassed to tell you!

    I accidentally walked into a men’s bathroom at the Twin’s Metrodome during a break at a Twin’s game and all I saw was white butts sticking out of some pulled down pants! EMBARRASSING! SEVERAL of the men turned while they were peeing to take a look at the idiot teenager who decided to walk into the wrong bathroom!

  19. On May 6th, 2008 at 8:55 pm Kim Says:

    Oh my!! I’m so sorry! Kudos to that lady – I don’t know if I would have had the guts to do that.

  20. On May 6th, 2008 at 8:56 pm Bobbi Says:

    Let me wipe my tears from all of the laughter! Sorry to hear of your mis-hap. Bless the lady who told you? Didn’t Steve notice.

    that would happen to me too!!!

  21. On May 6th, 2008 at 9:23 pm Alleen Says:

    Ohmyfreakinggosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yikes!!

    And what Cindi said about the skirt stuck in the hose… yep, happened to me once at work. Oh gawd.

  22. On May 6th, 2008 at 9:32 pm Ashley J Says:

    I had a snort giggle over this… I hate to say that is funny because I know for you it kinda wasn’t. I always worry about this!

  23. On May 6th, 2008 at 10:43 pm Rhonda Says:

    Ok, LOVE the laugh, thank you for that and YES, I am betting that we’ve all these moments (ok, maybe not quite that large of a hole) but somewhat!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    You go girl!

  24. On May 7th, 2008 at 3:08 am Kelly Says:

    I just snorted Diet Pepsi through my nose while hysterical laughing Kudos to the lady who finally told you!

    Thanks for the laugh. Sorry about your skirt!

  25. On May 7th, 2008 at 6:30 am Emily Says:

    RFLMAO, you poor thing, I’m so glad someone finally told you. Where was Steve during this? Didn’t he check out your butt as you walked in? LOL he needs to be a more attentive husband…..lol

  26. On May 7th, 2008 at 7:12 am Amanda Says:

    How in the heck did you get a tear that large?

  27. On May 7th, 2008 at 7:28 am Soltana Says:

    OMG!!! You poor thing. At least you had panties on!!

    I would have told you too:)

    I had the same thing happen to me..skirt int he tights…almost the WHOLE day and finally someone told me.

    I hope your day got better:)

  28. On May 7th, 2008 at 7:43 am tonya Says:

    Theres another reason to listen to your Momma–“always wear clean underwear”

  29. On May 7th, 2008 at 11:29 am Shelly Says:

    Sorry Michelle…I had to laugh because it brought back memories when we were in Guatemala. It was the end of the evening and I noticed my pants had a huge hole in the butt. I was mortified because I don’t know if it was like that all day. I questioned my husband and of course he had no idea. Soooooooo…if there are any other Guatemamas who were staying at the Westin from June 3-June 8, 2007…it was me who had her big butt hanging out! :-0

  30. On May 7th, 2008 at 4:53 pm Darla Says:

    OT: *HIGH FIVE* for standing up for a fellow christian blogger!

  31. On May 7th, 2008 at 8:40 pm Kelly Says:

    LOL Sorry it happens to the very best of us!

  32. On May 7th, 2008 at 10:45 pm Tera Says:

    Oh golly!! Talk about a wardrobe malfunction!! :0 I am so sorry!! ACK!! I agree…kudos to the lady who stopped you!!

    I have a new blog…I linked it for you! : )

    Have a very happy mother’s day, Michelle!! God bless.

  33. On May 8th, 2008 at 1:08 am Rhonda Says:

    ok, I ADMIT IT, I’m still laughing!!!! sorry 🙂

  34. On May 8th, 2008 at 4:49 am carla Says:

    more please 🙂

    posts

    not embarrassing moments.

  35. On May 8th, 2008 at 5:48 am Amy Says:

    OK, so I hate to ask the obvious; but I will. Why didn’t Steve say something?

  36. On May 8th, 2008 at 10:41 am TracyMichele Says:

    Oh.my.gosh! HILARIOUS (well, for those of us who didn’t have a huge gaping hole with our best feature hanging out for the world to see). Thanks for being so dumb… I mean honest. *giggle*

  37. On May 8th, 2008 at 11:49 am Melissa Says:

    I once got out of the car (valet service) to go to a wedding and my dress was stuck in my thigh highs. Luckily a lady came up behind me and yanked it out before the whole party saw it. So I only flashed the valet guys.