What do you think?
After 2+ years of the same look, we finally switched things up around here a little but if you are looking for some Sabrina and Tessa cuteness or Michelle ramblings you are in the right place.
Because I am sure someone will ask what I am urging others to “believe” in – I just think that everyone should believe in something with her whole heart. Doesn’t really matter what it is.
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I’m late to the party again but I just became aware of this. It started last December. Two school aged children collected some money for the Salvation Army. They wanted to take it and put it in one of the donation buckets. Their mom drove them, along with their 2 year old sister, to the local Wal-Mart so they could put the money in the bell ringer’s bucket. The 2 year old was asleep in her car seat. Mom pulled up to the curb, put on her flashers, got out of the car with her older 2 children, locked the car and set the alarm. She walked with her children 30 feet away to put the money in the donation bucket. The car was never out of her sight. She was handcuffed and arrested for child endangerment. (The charges were later dropped but the police chief has spoken publicly about his disapproval of the decision not to prosecute.)
In your opinion, was she wrong to leave the child in her car seat? Whether or not it was wrong, do you feel that is an arrestable offense?
Is there ever a time it is okay to leave your child in the car? Assuming the weather is mild (not hot, not cold) and your child is safely strapped into a car seat, the car is not running and you lock the doors behind you, consider these scenarios:
* You realize you left your wallet on the kitchen counter after strapping your child into his/her car seat. Your car is parked in the garage. Do you leave your child in the car while you run back into the house to grab your wallet?
* You are returning a casserole dish or a book to a friend. You pull into her driveway. Is it okay to leave your child in the car seat while you run to the front door to return it?
* It is pouring rain. You parked 4 slots from the cart return at the grocery store. Do you put your child in the car, then unload your groceries, and then return your cart to the corral while your child waits in the car?
* You realize there is no milk at home. You stop at a convenience store to grab a 1/2 gallon. Do you lock your child in the car and run in to purchase the milk if you can see your car the entire time you are in the store?
I’m curious what everyone thinks. If it is sometimes okay, where do you draw the line? And even if you personally think it is never okay, is it truly child endangerment or is it just bad judgment? Should people doing any of these things be subject to arrest?
#1—I’ve done it. More than once. In that case I don’t even lock the doors or put the alarm on because they are still “in” the house and the garage door is not open AND they are probably safer in there than they are IN the house:)
#2—If the door is SUPER close to the driveway and in direct view, I would do this but I would lock the door and turn on the alarm. If she wants to chat she is going to have to come back to my car to do it. I might even call her to tell her to be waiting at the door our outside of it.
#3—I would NEVER do this. I would say this is would be child endangerment. Never in an openly public and unsafe place would I do this.
Love the new look!
There’s always that fine line with leaving your child in the car. I’ve left the boy in his car seat in the driveway while I’ve run in to grab something I forgot in the house. I may have left him while I ran into the church real quick too, but never into a store.
I have friends who will leave their sleeping kids in the car in the parking lot and come in to the church office to chat. Now that I don’t agree with.
I’d do/have done the “Garage” Scenario, and the “casserole dish” ones. I haven’t done the cart corral thing, because I am a rude NYer who never returns carts (kidding). But, I don’t think that’s any big deal.
I would NEVER go into a store without her though. Even if I could see out the window. This is part of the reason my ass is so big now, because I’m a drive through queen.
I have done some of these…
Left her in the car seat to run back in for a sippy cup or my purse…
I have even left her in the car when I go into the chinese place, Which is a little whole in the wall, and I can pull right up to the door, and I stand at the door while they ring me up.
Store’s NO, Cart Corral yes, if I am close to it….But Daddy ussually keeps the baby while I go shoping lately…….YEAH
There is some NO-NO’s that I don’t agree with, But it’s your child so do what you do!
LOVE the new look!
I have left Alexis strapped into her carseat in our driveway while I quickly ran into the house, but I will not, under any circumstances, leave her in the car alone in any public places. No way, no how. I actually started to do it one time when I needed to run in and pick up a pizza, but only made it about three steps before I freaked out and grabbed her. Sure, it sucks to carry a kid and a pizza, but there’s too much that can happen, even when the car is ten feet away and in plain sight.
LOve the new look~
As for the Questions…
My Opinion, and mine alone…
NEVER LEAVE YOUR CHILD UNDATTENDED IN THE CAR…
#1 – You may think your garage is safe, but there always can be that prowler lurking, watching and waiting… He, not realizing you are just running in the house for something… YOur child is in your car…
#2-#4 – Did you see the news in CA yesterday? A run away truck creamed though a parking lot… ENOUGH SAID on ththat one…
#5 – We have a Drive Thru Dairy… So I never had to do this, nor will I ever… When I stopped at 7-11 for milk, out came the baby, and went in with me… Rain or Shine…
I’ve run back in the house many times – especially when we had baby Alex. To get to our cars, you have to go down into our basement. At that time, my Alex couldn’t go up and down the basement stairs by himself. So, I would take Big Alex out to the car – get him strapped in and then go back in the house for baby Alex. (and my car was in the driveway – but we live out in the middle of nowhere)
I have never gone into a store without him.
I do put the cart back – ALL THE TIME with him in the car – I guess I never thought of that as a big deal. I would rather have him in the car strapped in his car seat then sitting in the cart while I’m putting groceries in the back of my car – I’ve always been afraid a car was going to hit him……very interesting.
I saw the Dr. Phil show that this lady was on – not sure it was a smart move – but I don’t think it was child endangerment.
I think it depends on the situation. I have left him in the driveway in a locked car with the windows down in mild weather. I am always forgetting my purse or something and running back in for a second. And the second reason I’ve done this is if he falls asleep. I know there is no way I would get him down for a nap if I were to transfer him, so I let him sleep in the car. I open the window and sit in my den where I can see the car about 20 ft away or I go ahead and sit on my porch next to the car. I have only done that a handful of times as it makes me nervous, but sometimes you are desparate.
I’ve also left him in the car while I ran up to drop off dinner for a friend. Again, he was parked in a driveway just feet from were I was at all times.
However, I do think it is unwise to leave a child alone in a public place. There are wacky people out there who might take advantage of the situation. I try to park in the spot next to the cart return, but if I don’t I leave the cart in next to my car. And I’d never feel comfortable running into the PO or the convienence store without him, though I’ll admit it is tempting sometimes. I just don’t think it’s safe.
That mom certainly did not commit an arrestable offense! Good grief.
I’ve run back into the house with the car in the garage or driveway and I think that’s fine. I can’t leave them in public places even within sight because I’m paranoid and I freak out about it. However the mom in the example who was dropping money in the bucket 30 ft away? Yeah, I’d probably have done that. And if someone tried to arrest me for it I’d be beyond pissed.
Love the new look!!
I’ve left a child in their car seat whle the car is in the garage to go get something or another child our of the house. At one point I had 3 kids in car seats who weren’t able to walk. What else are you supposed to do? I would leave them in their car seat while I took something to someone’s door, if the car was parked in the driveway, aka I would not leave them in a car parked on the street. I put my kids in the car before unloading my groceries. I think it’s more likely that either my cart or stroller (I shop with two in a double stroller and 1 in a cart) will roll away or get hit by a bad driver than for my car to be stollen. I always part within 2 spaces of a cart return and lock the doors before I take the cart back. I would not leave them in the car to go into the store, even if for 1 item. I don’t think it was arrestable.
I recently was thinking about these scenarios and my policy is going to be to not leave her unless I could reach her in two steps…which means not leaving her. I’m a guilt ridden person and if ANYTHING were to happen it would kill me.
Love the new look and love the idea of believing. Love it.
* You realize you left your wallet on the kitchen counter after strapping your child into his/her car seat. Your car is parked in the garage. Do you leave your child in the car while you run back into the house to grab your wallet?
Yes, if garage door is shut!
* You are returning a casserole dish or a book to a friend. You pull into her driveway. Is it okay to leave your child in the car seat while you run to the front door to return it?
Yes, but would take keys and not enter friends house.
*It is pouring rain. You parked 4 slots from the cart return at the grocery store. Do you put your child in the car, then unload your groceries, and then return your cart to the corral while your child waits in the car?
Yes, put child in then return child…again…take keys and lock car.
* You realize there is no milk at home. You stop at a convenience store to grab a 1/2 gallon. Do you lock your child in the car and run in to purchase the milk if you can see your car the entire time you are in the store?
No….take child always…in this case!!
Depends on where you are/situation…
If I’m in Boston I never leave her in the car, even outside of our apartment. If I’m out in the sticks, yes in the garage, yes in front of the house if I’m taking stuff in, and even yes (gasp!) in front of our little local post office, but I do lock the doors. The front window of the post office is all glass. That was more of an issue when I couldn’t hold her and a big bin of mail, but now that she can walk, she likes to go in.
Never even thought about the shopping cart in the parking lot thing, although now that I think about it, I do walk backwards to drop off the cart so I can see the car! And, I only do that at the store in the sticks, again not in Boston.
Like the snazzy new layout!
I skipped #3 and the answer I gave for #3 was actually for #4. I MIGHT do #3 if it was raining and the car was in sight.
I have left my son in the car in the garage to run back in and get something. If the garage door is down, I do not lock the doors. If the garage door is up, I lock the car doors.
I have left my son in the car in a friend’s driveway while I walk to the door – only if it is very close and clearly visible. In these cases, I take the keys with me, lock the car doors and run up to the front door to drop off the item and quickly return to the car. If the friend wants to chat then she can come to my car or call me later.
Grocery store carts – same as above, if close proximity and always with the doors locked. I have been known to leave the cart in the parking spot. I would rather damage someone’s car than lose my child.
I have not and will not enter a store and leave my son in the car.
Should that mom have been handcuffed? No way! That’s a bit too much.
I Have done almost all of these and I think I am a good mom. I can’t wait to see more pics of the girls. Hey, I have two adopta mommy friends who live out by you and started an adoptive family play group. They are great girls. Nash-http://www.ayankeeintennessee.blogspot.com/
and Gretch-http://journeyfarjourneynear.blogspot.com/
I know them both in person and LOVE them
I have done the first two, but not the last two. If Im not by the cart return I dont return the cart, just push it up away, (but usually park by cart coral) One thing I have done especially with my one friend is stop at a garage sale, and leave the kids strapped in. If you can park right there or in driveway anyway.
I have done the first two, but not the last two. If Im not by the cart return I dont return the cart, just push it up away, (but usually park by cart coral) One thing I have done especially with my one friend is stop at a garage sale, and leave the kids strapped in. If you can park right there or in driveway anyway.
I have done the first two, but not the last two. If Im not by the cart return I dont return the cart, just push it up away, (but usually park by cart coral) One thing I have done especially with my one friend is stop at a garage sale, and leave the kids strapped in. If you can park right there or in driveway anyway.
I don’t think any of it is child endangerment, but every time I think of doing any of this, I ask myself how I’d feel if something did go wrong. Could I live with my decision and myself? Most, if not all of the time, the answer is no. I also often repeat the sentence “nothing worth doing is ever easy.” I believe that most of the time, when you make the easy choice, it’s probably the wrong one.
Good grief, what would you bet that the cop and police chief either don’t have kids or haven’t had infants/toddlers in a LONG time! I have 2-under-3, (it’s actually worst now than when it was 2-under-2…way more active) and there is NO way to carry both outside to the car and all the stuff that is needed if we’re going somewhere. I definitely strap one in and then go back and get the other one. And yup, often I have to go back in the house to get whatever I forgot. If I lived in a different area, I might feel differently. And, if I am not in a hurry, they can walk themselves to the car…of course, that can take forever and is never done in a straight line!
I would NOT run into a store and leave my baby/toddler unattended. I’m not sure what age I would feel comfortable enough to do that at. With the cart, well, how far I am from the coral determines which order I do it in. But, I try to park close to the coral, because, honestly I am much more fearful that some i*&%t driver will hit my cart with one of my babies in it.
FWIW, Dear abby has a column in our paper today on the shopping cart issue…..she says to put the most precious cargo in the car first.
btw, I grew up very close to where this happened in the Chicago ‘burbs, and if I was in that parking lot and could see my car from where I was standing with the other kids, and I had locked and taken the keys, I probably would have done the same thing, if it was really quick. Of course, I am not sure if she had a direct line of vision, and how long she was taking photos, etc.
Even though Boise is a small town and very safe, I have NEVER and I mean NEVER left Bryant alone in the car (he’s 5). In my personal opinion, I waited way too long for him to be born to risk losing him in an unnecessary risk. -Jenny
Great new look!
I left the boy in the car w/ doors locked once to return a movie and I was panicky the whole time…won’t do it again. At the grocery I put the sacks in my backseat so the cart is parallel with my car and I leave him in the cart till done. Then I strap him in and leave the cart next to my car. I have done the run up to a front door thing, I always call first.
I think the question is.. was it child endangerment to have the children watch their mother be arrested? Who took care of the kids while she was being booked?
I also think that once you have more than one in a car seat that some rules change. My kids ALWAYS go in the car first! Getting them strapped into the car seat safely is number one. Groceries, carts, and everything else are way secondary.
Great new look!
I am super paranoid about leaving Elizabeth in the car alone, I never do it. Not only because something awful could happen, but also because her adoption is not yet final, and all I need is for someone to report me to CPS, and that would be the end of that…
If I could not go and strap all my kids in the car in the garage…and run back in for something. I would never leave the house. I can honestly say that I never make it to the car without going back for at least one thing. In fact, a lot of times I tell them to go and they go get in (door still closed) and sit down and the big brother gets everyone buckled ( except E) and I come out with all our baggage!
We live in the sticks..in a small town, and we basically know everyone. I ALWAYS run into the car. Like Ashley J I wouldn’t survive if I didn’t, and often Cassie gets Reese and Krista buckled. I also run into friends, and two convenience stores in our VERY small town. However, NEVER when I can’t see the car. When we go into the city (huh, I use the term city lightly) they come with me no matter what. So, it depends on the circumstances.
I enjoyed reading all the comments. Great post
great new look! i actually thought for a minute i’d hit the wrong bookmark link. 🙂 as for the questions, absolutely to one and two, nope to 3 and 4. i always try to park next to the cart corral; if i can’t, i’ve become one of those irresponsible citizens who leaves the cart up in that four corners area at the front of the car where it meets the other parking spots. and the store, definitely not. interesting to read others’ responses!
I’m pretty much of the same opinion – yes to one and two, no to four. But generally when I’m out and about I have two huge Golden Retrivers in the car also (yes, they like to go for rides too) who are very protective of “thier girl,” and if anyone ever came near my car in my driveway or when I was 30 feet away at a friends house, they would cause such a commotion that the devil himself would make a run for it.
As for shopping at the market, I always lock her up in the carseat first then unload the groceries – it’s just easier that way. And I’m one of those bad people who don’t take the cart to the corral if it’s raining or if I’m really far away – and I don’t feel badly about it at all. I do take it if I’m shopping alone, but not with the baby…. it’s just not worth it to me to step away from the car. I never got to park in the “expectant mother” parking, so I figure that gives me a free “No-cart-return” card that I’m going to use for a while. When she’s older I’ll start being responsible about that again 🙂
LOVE the new look! I got confused for a second when I came over. Very nice!
I’ve left K. in the car while it was in the garage, and not running. I have also left him in the car while I go to our community mailbox, but I am literally next to the car, and it’s not running.
We live in the desert, so I honestly try not to have him in the car without it running, if at all possible. I’d rather take him with me than put him in a car that is over 140 degrees, since I wouldn’t leave my keys in the car, or the car running.
I thought that whole thing was a little overboard. But, I do think about it every time I see a Salvation Army bucket. I think the Chief was also out of line. No harm was done. Move on, guy!
I have done #’s 1, 2, and 3. Not 4 though. I would never enter another building (aside from home, because our door is 2 feet from where we park) and leave my child.
I work in an office that advocates for abused and neglected children and we have seen this scenario many times, most recently with a woman at wal-mart who went in to get cold medicine and left her kids in the car. She’s now dealing with a court case due to that mistake. I do think it’s a case-by-case basis when you leave your children alone. (There are some states that have ages where it is/isn’t acceptable, so you may want to check that out)
Bottom line, try not to, but use common sense. I don’t think though that there was anything wrong with what the woman did at the Wal-mart when helping her kids drop off the money.
I have only done #1. Number 2 doesn’t seem too terrible but I have not done it and am not sure if I would. I definitely would not do 3 or 4. I am one of those paranoid mommys though 🙂
I’ve definitely left Gabe in the car while I ran back into the house. I’ve also left in him in the car while I ran up to a friend’s door. I usually try to park next to the cart corral but there have been times when I have strapped him in and then returned the cart. I would never go into a store without him. I’ve often thought, thank goodness for pay at the pump. What a pain it would have to be to unstrap a child just to go and pay for gas. However I couldn’t imagine even leaving him alone for that.
As for the coin bucket, I don’t really think that should be punished.
I leave The Boy in the car to return a cart, but it’s never far from my car – and I didn’t do it until he was probably five years old. I have left him strapped in to run back in the house or to get the mail at our recepticle – never to go into any other building, though.
I second “Kim” -I have 4 small kids and I really think that leaving them in the shopping cart while unpacking is FAR more dangerous than being in the car –people drive INSANELY in parking lots! It’s terrifying! I do, however, always park near the shopping cart return areas (you know the ones in the lots so you don’t have to go all the way back to the store.)
I have run back in the house to grab something, but we too live on a dead end street where there is nobody around. I would not run into a store or into someones house, etc and leave her in the car. My mom was having a garage sale the other day and I left myah in the car sleeping with both side van doors open (it was a beautiful breezy day) parked right in the driveway where I was sitting. I also strap her in before I unload groceries…..theres no way I could hold onto her and unload the cart in a busy parking lot.
I’ve definitely left G in the car in the garage with the door closed while I run inside to get something I forgot. I’ve put her in the car and returned a cart to the cart corral, but I will only do that if it’s very close by. If it’s far away, yep, I’m the one that leaves the cart in the lot….
Haven’t had the situation of dropping something off at a friend’s house and no way would I run in the store and leave her. Believe me, I’ve been tempted more than once when I have to run into the post office and drop some packages off that already have postage. The box is just inside the door, but everytime, a little voice tells me it’s just not worth it.
Yes to #1 and #2. Probably yes to #3, although likely, I’d just leave the cart there and push it to the side. No to #4.
yep to #1, 2 and 3 and no to 4.
Love the new look:)
I have done 1,2 and 3. As ong as I can see the car. Usually I try to park as close to a cart corral as possible. Getting those 2 in and safe before I return the cart. I would NEVER leave them while going into the store.
The main reason I got a debit card was so when I got has I wouldn’t have to take the kids out.
Wow I can’t believe they arrested her? What happened to the kids??
I have done 1 2 & 3 but I ALWAYS turn the car off & lock the doors, even if our garage. I’ll do 3 ONLY if I’m parked directly next to the cart return. However I would never and have never done 4. Beginning of this year our oldest son told us how his aunt (my husband’s sister who’s 24 by the way) left him in the car to run into the gas station to get something..believe me… I have never EVER been as mad and disappointment at someone as my husband & I were with her. Never the less we had a very long talk with her, she used the excuse saying that she didn’t know cause she doesn’t have any kids, I told her it’s not about not having kids, it’s called “common sense!” Even our 5 year old knew it was wrong and that’s why he told us. I still till this day have horrible what if thoughts about that day.
I don’t think she should have gotten arrested however I don’t think she made such a wise choice, I can’t help but think what if a car hit their car with the little girl inside? Specially it being in a public place, it’s not the same as a driveway or garage. No one’s perfect, and you’re not always going to listen to your instincts.. but sometimes you just have to learn from your own past mistakes or in situations like this someone elses.
Those are tough – we just had a case in MN about a woman who left her sleeping son in the car and car was then taken by two other women. It was 10:30pm at night and she was running into the grocery for milk. Tough calls.
Love the new look!
Love the new look of the blog. A bit edgy, yet inspirational.
Loving the new look! 🙂
I have left the Littles in the car in the driveway (keys are with me) while I ran in for something I forgot but never at a store. Not even with one that has a big glass window. Yes, you can SEE everything but you still don’t have enough time to respond to a situation… you are behind a wall with doors. Nope, just not worth the risk for me.
Do I think it is an offense which should be subject to arrest? Um.. I guess that would depend on the severity of the situation. I understand there is the slippery slope and all but if someone leaves a child in the car to go have a beer by all means, arrest that parent. If a parent leaves a child in the car to return a grocery cart? No.. not punishable in my eyes.
Good post.
{i love the new look!}
I used to leave mine (occasionally) under some of the circumstances you are talking about, but in South Florida there is a serial murderer literally on the loose – that preys on women with children getting in/out of their cars.
His last victims were a mother and 8 yo daughter getting into their car at a local mall. He killed them both.
An early victim (who escaped) had put her 2 year old in the car seat, then went around back to put the stroller in the trunk of her SUV. When she got in her driver’s seat, the man was sitting in the seat next to her son’s holding a gun to the baby’s head – and told the mom to start driving otherwsie he’d shoot them both.
So even if it is pouring down rain, I keep my kids with me unloading groceries – then I put them in the car through one door. Lock the doors. Then walk around to the driver’s side – unlock, get in and lock.
At least until he’s caught – then maybe I’ll lighten up. Love the new blog design!!
Very, very interesting post, Michelle and very interesting replies as well!! I do number 1 and I also will return the cart to the cart corral…I always try to park a space or a few spaces away from a cart corral on purpose even if it means that I will have to walk further to the entrance of a store.
LOVE all of the recent pics of your girls…they truly are gorgeous!! Have a great weekend! God bless.