Michelle's Front Page

Friday Tidbits

December 12th, 2008

My guilty holiday pleasure? Bad holiday movies.  You’ll find me watching Lifetime or ABCFamily on the weekends to get my fill of cheese.  How many bastardized versions of The Christmas Carol do you suppose there are out there?  My vote for the worst stars Vanessa Williams.  I mock them because I love them.

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Why do I buy low sodium soup and then add salt?

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The thing that brings out my true Grinch this year? The UPS man comes almost daily because both Steve and I did our holiday shopping online.  The UPS insists on ringing the bell when he leaves a package on the porch.  This causes the dog to go nuts which wakes up the baby.  I even hung a sign on the door asking him not to ring the bell.  He rang it anyway.  I want to hunt down the UPS man and break his doorbell ringing finger.  Fa la la la la.

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Sabrina only eats food because we won’t let her lick ketchup straight off the plate.  She uses all forms of food as ketchup delivery systems.  It is rather revolting to watch.  I refuse to give her ketchup at breakfast when she asks because I can’t bare to watch her dip her banana in it.

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I am incapable of throwing away leftovers until they have sat in the refrigerator long enough to be considered inedible.  If we have leftovers after dinner that I know we will not eat, I still have to put them in the frig.  It just seems wrong to throw away perfectly good food.  But somehow it is less wrong to let it rot and then throw it away.

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I got 1 leg shaved on Tuesday before a child began crying.  I had the 2nd one penciled in for Thursday – didn’t happen.  Now I have to start all over again and shave them both.  Sexy, no?

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19 Responses to “Friday Tidbits”

  1. Abby (from JM) Says:

    I totally agree with the UPS thing…I don’t have a dog, but they usually show up when BOTH kids are sleeping and ring the bell…I think they are trained to do that and then have a list of houses with kids that are home during the day…they then proceed to show up to those houses during the Universal Nap Time. And what is with them taking my doormat and using that to cover the box-as is a doormat standing on its side will deter someone going by from picking the box up off my porch…WEIRD!

  2. Abby (from JM) Says:

    Forgot to add that I ONLY shave on Sunday mornings when Rich is home…AND in order to actually get a shower every day, I wake up at 5:30 when Rich leaves for work…then I also get a few minutes to myself to feed my Internet addiction!

  3. Steph Says:

    Try putting the note over the doorbell. I have a psycho dog that will literally bark for an hour after the doorbell rings. The nap is disturbed, then I’m disturbed. It eventually devolves into copious amounts of wine. Ugliness. So I have found that if the note literally blocks the doorbell, said UPS man is less likely to ring through the paper. But we still have a few more packages to go – so I’ll let you know.

  4. Tina Says:

    I would so cover the doorbell with duct tape or something. How rude that he still rang the bell after you put a sign out. My guy does a drop and run…no ringing or knocking.

  5. cass Says:

    Do not forget Hallmark channel for the Holiday Movie Extravaganza. I freaking LOVE the holiday movie. I have over 10 on DVR right now just calling my name – I don’t know HOW I was able to resist them this long – tomorrow is all Holiday Movie All Day day. I’m kind of a dork. If you do not get the Hallmark channel I will get a dvd of some of my favs from the dvr over to you STAT. The Note is particular good as is The Christmas Card – the guy that stars in that one is a stud, seriously, H-O-T.

    My UPS man did this until I came to the door with the baby he made scream – I asked him nicely (for the 80th) time to not ring the bell and I handed him a box of cookies. We’ve had three deliveries and no bell ringing since this happened a week ago today.

    The fact that you penciled in leg shaving makes me feel sad. My legs have not seen a razors in what can easily be described as months and months. I’m in jeans all day for gods sake, why bother. We leave for Florida on Sunday and I have no idea how I’m going to get through the forest to find my legs.

  6. Melany Says:

    You made me laugh this morning! Thanks!

  7. Shannon Says:

    I haven’t shaved both legs at a time on a weekday in months. In fact, i really only get to shave on Sat or sunday. (you’ll see it’s one or the other, not both) Don’t feel bad. it’s hard to be sexy and be a mom at the same time.

  8. artsweet Says:

    I really don’t understand why I haven’t lost twenty pounds since P started eating real food – watching a toddler eat is truly stomach turning.

    Last night he dumped his spinach (uneaten, but a girl can dream) into his milk, and then proceeded to fish out the sodden spinach, dangle it over his mouth as if he were going to eat it – and then throw it on the floor. The word “dip” makes me cringe with fear.

  9. artsweet Says:

    Oh and shaving legs? HA HA HA HA HA HA you are a funny one.

  10. jane Says:

    I taped a small piece of paper over my doorbell…and the kind mailman leaves packages and quietly leaves. The UPS man knocks so loudly it makes ME jump out of my skin!

  11. Jamie Says:

    We get a lot of packages, too. Invariably our old senile dog goes INSANE and the girls start screaming “mommy we got a package” and then my mom calls or my boss calls and it is like White Trash on steroids. Good times.

    Hey I’m impressed that you even shaved your legs. Which reminds me…

  12. Bobbi Says:

    The Fed Ex man did that here the other day, and i had to resisit the urge to not chase him down the driveway and beat him with a stick!! But, he didn’t wake Reese up so I will let him live, and my dog is so relaxed that the noise just stressed her out, and she had to take a nap!!

    So, she is a ketchup fan. How funny. I guess it is a fruit, right??

  13. Jenny Says:

    Oh the dipping! When I won’t let the kids lick the ketchup off of the plate, they try to scrape it up with a fork. Or a finger. Or any other random thing lying around that might get one more precious drop of ketchup into their mouths.
    We have now found the same joy in ranch dressing.
    Hooray?

  14. Karrie Says:

    Disassemble the doorbell at the button or inside the house. Screw-driver is all you’ll need. Piece of cake.
    Best wishes for longer naps!
    Karrie in IN

  15. Maria Says:

    Gotta love the doorbell ringing and door knocking fury! They must attend classes on it. :)

  16. Ashley J Says:

    He he he!

    I know what you mean. I had to tape a sign ON TOP OF my door bell, that says PLEASE DO NOT RING- CHILDREN (AND POSSIBLY MOMMY) SLEEPING. It works better than just a sign on the door, they never look up… I have watched???

  17. Kecia Says:

    I concur with the cover the effin doorbell with a spiked apparatus. I stepped away from my kiddo for two seconds the other day and my otherwise civilized child was lapping up the ketchup with his tongue. It was a divided plate, when he lifted his head there was a triangle of ketchup on his face. I made my mommy face and he said, “I’m like the doggies mommy”. THey must put toddler crack in that stuff.

  18. Alleen Says:

    I do exactly what Steph suggested. I’ve had a note taped OVER my doorbell since not long after Miss G came home. Learned that lesson fast. Now, if they’d only get that practically pounding on the door has the same effect. I had one the other day keep knocking and knocking. I was in the bathroom with Gabriella on the toilet(a girl can dream,you know). I came to the door with her pants around her legs just to make a point.

    I too laugh when they “conceal” a package with the doormat. I had a large box delivered this week and they put the doormat over it. Only, it covered about 10% of it. Cracked me up. I think it drew even more attention to it.

    Ketchup – where do I start? See, I am married to someone who eats ketchup sandwiches. So, as you can imagine, my child also thinks nothing is edible unless it looks like it belongs in a horror film.

  19. Melissa Says:

    Ahhhh the magic of dip. I know it well. Kevin loves ketchup, bbq sauce, or anything to cover his meat in. hey, if it gets it in…


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