Michelle's Front Page

Resistance is futile

July 14th, 2010

We will be assimilated.  We are becoming more Southern with every passing day.  We’ll never be true Southerners but the South has a way of creeping in.

One day we were talking about what we needed to do and Steve said “I reckon…” (who talks like that?)

I find myself saying “Ya’ll” without the previous irony.

I tried shrimp and cheese grits.  And I liked them.  A lot.

I tried fried green tomatoes.  They were pretty good.

I wear capris and skirts more often when I go out.  I still wear shorts in public but I’m aware that I am breaking the rules.  I still don’t care but I know why I am getting disapproving looks.

Whenever I am pointing out something about another person that might be considered a flaw or criticism, I follow it with “bless her heart“.

When it is 100 degrees outside, I take a sweater with me to restaurants because it is likely to be 66 degrees inside.

I know the best pulled pork sandwiches can be found in gas station restaurants in the middle of no where.  Seriously, there is one in NC, on the way to the beach, that makes me drool as we approach.

The other day, Steve declared it was going to be a nice day because it wasonly supposed to be 90 degrees”.

I have a strange desire to try Chess Pie despite the fact I am sure it is foul (it has been described to me as pecan pie without the pecans – blech).

But yesterday sealed it.  We bought meat off the back of a pickup truck. Yes, yes we did.

Okay it wasn’t quite as redneck looking as that – but it wasn’t far off.  It was a pickup with a chest freezer in back.  And we purchased steaks from them.  The prices were decent – not low enough to set off “too good to be true” alarm bells but good.  The meat was frozen solid and looked nice.  We’ll see once we try it.

The funniest part of the transaction (and there were several) was the guy’s son.  The son was probably 20.  He looked like quite the good old boy and was sporting a slight mullet.  They both had thick Southern drawls.  The son had said very little but dad was showing us the box of pork and pulled out some stuffed pork chops.  Dad described the corn bread stuffing and the son drawled “They are divine.”  Totally not the choice of words I would have expected.

Welcome to the south.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 14th, 2010 at 8:38 am and is filed under humor, nashville. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.

17 Responses to “Resistance is futile”

  1. Busy Mom Says:

    Wait, I’m not supposed to wear shorts? Rut roh.

    Also, chess pie is quite good, I think you’ve gotten a bad description.

  2. Krystal Says:

    Ha ha – keep it up and you’ll blend right in :)

    Chocolate chess pie is really good, and I don’t think it is anything like the weird corn syrup pecan pie stuff.

  3. kelkamp Says:

    LOL I totally know what you mean. I can now say “y’all” without sounding like an idiot.

  4. Ruthie Graham Says:

    Bahahahaha!! Ok, wearing shorts in public…do that all the time and I’m born and bred Southern. Chess pie-you definitely need to try that! And if you find someone who makes a really good buttermilk pie, you need to try that as well!

  5. Sonia in MO (FTC) Says:

    Michelle, you always make me laugh… the meat out of the back of the pickup had me rolling…lol!

  6. Priscilla Says:

    Chess pie is AWESOME! Nothing like what was described to you – it’s a little slice of heaven.

  7. Meredith Says:

    I’ll add to the chorus of chess pie lovers. It is super sweet, but nothing like syrupy pecan pie filling. Its three ingredients are eggs, butter, and sugar!

  8. Jill Says:

    The other day I asked my 5 year old a question and she responded “I reckon they might”. I have no idea where she heard it!!!

    Jill in Indiana

  9. Abuela Says:

    OK, I thought living in Texas for the past 14+ years was living the South, but you have me beat here on a couple of categories. One is….what is a ‘mullet’? :)

  10. heather Says:

    from the WAY north and ROFL!!! awesome post!!

  11. Bobbi Says:

    HA!! I love your humor:>)

  12. dana Says:

    Bless your heart cracked me up! My brother and SIL live in NC. She’s southern and she always says that! Great post, lots of funny stuff Michelle. As I’ve told you many times before, I love your blog.

  13. Brigid Says:

    What Busymom said. (about the shorts. I’ll take my dessert in the form of chocolate, thanks.)

  14. Jordana Says:

    The Southern Borg Collective welcomes you. ;) Of course, I’m actually no more Southern than you are, but I have been here longer. I don’t particularly like fried green tomatoes and I don’t eat pork, so I haven’t totally gone native. A good chess pie is good. A bad one is too egg-y. I wouldn’t describe it so much as a a pecan pie without pecans, but rather as a lemon square filling that is very light on lemon (though sometimes includes a little).

  15. jane Says:

    HA HA HA HA HA. I knew we’d get to you eventually!
    Lemme know if that meat tastes gamey. (Just doing my part to increase your Southern vocabulary.)

  16. Becky Says:

    Just wait until you start “twanging” like they do,and you will, it’s inevitable! There are few more sayings that will creep into your vocabulary too like “fixin to…” and wait until the girls start school and you notice that they no longer say, “dog” it is now dawg. LOL!!!!
    We moved here (SC) from IL I lived in Chicago 20 years and sounded more like a Chicagoan than a Southern Illinois native 5 years ago do all of the things you mentioned….capris vs. shorts in public (although I do it because I have fat legs), shrimp and grits—love ‘em, and chess pie, well it’s really not that bad….you need to try lemon icebox pie, another southern thing, yummy!

  17. Ansley Says:

    You’re well on your way! Have you find yourself saying something like, “You know what we might could do?” My husband stared at me for a full 30 seconds the first time he ever heard me say that.


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