Michelle Smiles

Teaching my children to question authority, except mine.

Not all sunshine and roses

April26

I’m not in a good place with this move at the moment. I’ve been slapped upside the head with the financial reality of the decision we made. We will likely incur debt with many zeros to sell this house after only 6 months of ownership because of realtor commissions, closing costs, etc. Then you add on the cost of physically getting all of our crap up north. Renting is likely our immediate future. Going from my beautiful 3000 sq ft house with a playset and playroom for the girls to a 1000 sq ft apartment with 2/3 of our stuff in storage and no outside space makes me sad. It makes me feel like I am giving up my security. That on top of leaving my friends puts me in a rather dark place at the moment. I’ll get over it soon enough. I will remember all of my blessings. I will remember that the only truly important things are my beautiful girls and my wonderful husband. But for now, I am spending a lot of time crying in the shower and taking deep breaths to ward off anxiety. Until I get done with my stupid, petty, selfish pity party this space will likely be quiet.

Fortunately, I have these faces to remind me that I have all that matters.

posted under family
11 Comments to

“Not all sunshine and roses”

  1. On April 26th, 2011 at 2:39 pm Cathy Says:

    of course you are right about the many blessings . . . but it’s still ok to have a pity party every once in a while, especially when facing such tremendous changes. looking forward to seeing you back on my feed reader when things settle down a bit! 🙂
    hugs from michigan –
    cathy

  2. On April 26th, 2011 at 2:41 pm burghbaby Says:

    It WILL work out. In the meantime, make sure that pity party includes some good food.

  3. On April 26th, 2011 at 7:41 pm Bobbi Says:

    You have every right to have a pity party!! ALOT of them. Rant away and whine here as well for support. It is hard, and sucks. really sucks. right out loud. Sorry:(

    But, those girls sure are very very cute!!

  4. On April 27th, 2011 at 6:26 am Julie P Says:

    Chocolate, lots of chocolate and then walking to work off that chocolate. Good for you for acknowledging how you feel – sometimes that is the biggest challenge. I agree with Burghbaby – and you know it too – it will all work out. But yeah waiting for that time when it is all worked out is tough. Really tough. It is ok to whine and pout, give yourself the time to grieve.

    Seriously Sabrina’s smile is the BEST. I remember her baby pics from Guatemala and that huge smile on such a baby – to me it was so appropriate that your blog was MichelleSmiles and you had the biggest smiler of a daughter!

  5. On April 27th, 2011 at 8:53 am debbie Says:

    I am so sad for you too. Your house had me drooling at the sight of it. It bites, big time. And I would cry a river of tears too.
    But you are so right, all you have to do is look at those sweet little faces and you know that you are SO blessed, no matter what the circumstances.
    I live in a 900 sq ft home with two little ones. Some days I just can’t breathe in there, then I remember this…..
    http://goodfellowfamily.blogspot.com/
    and realize that I CAN live in there. And it’s a blessing. Wherever my kids are, is home.
    Hang in there Michelle. It will get better.

  6. On April 27th, 2011 at 11:37 am Laura Says:

    This, too, shall pass Michelle. You are more than entitled to your blue days. Agree with what everyone has said.

  7. On April 28th, 2011 at 9:50 am tonya Says:

    I’ve always been amazed at your strength.

  8. On April 29th, 2011 at 8:14 am Melany Says:

    Hugs. 🙁 Hope this nice weather continues…that always makes me feel a little better when things are sucky.

  9. On April 29th, 2011 at 10:02 am dana Says:

    I completely think you are justified to feel what you are feeling. I would be crushed at the thought of moving from my dream home after finally settling in. I do believe there is a reason for this move although you may not know it now this is leading to better things. Hugs to you.

  10. On April 30th, 2011 at 1:36 pm nora Says:

    That you are holding it together at all is really impressive. I think you are certainly entitled to your anxiety and your tears – it sounds hard and harsh all at the same time – you worked so hard to find home, its hard to leave it to find another one.

    Take care of you.

  11. On May 1st, 2011 at 7:02 pm karla porter archer Says:

    I’m pretty good at pity parties (though, I’m not up on the latest trends — it’s been awhile)
    I totally understand and it makes sense. My life was like that for years. Fortunately, you have the love of a wonderful husband and your precious girls.
    All of that sounds fluffy and trite at times, I know. But it’s the truth. And you’ll persevere and be good.
    ~K