By now, most folks who read blogs have seen this post about not airbrushing our lives to look so perfect on Facebook. While I agree, there are some folks out there who make everything seem idyllic and Martha inspired with perfectly framed photos and statuses about frolicking through orchards then making organic applesauce at home while smiling children assist with nary a spill in sight. It makes the rest of us feel as though we are falling short and doing it wrong. But, and this is a big but for me, don’t we all also have friends in our FB feeds who do nothing but complain? They focus on every little thing that doesn’t go their way and then put it out there because apparently they believe misery loves company or at least an audience? I don’t enjoy those people either.

I feel like I’m pretty real in my facebook feed. Yes, I show off the Martha moments – mostly because they are rare and I’m proud when I can pull it off. But I also share statuses about wanting to lock myself in the closet with a bottle of wine because my children are driving me insane. I don’t feel like snapping Instagrams of my overflowing-with-dirty-dishes kitchen sink or complaining about everything that doesn’t go my way is being more real. I share the bad – usually tempered with humor because if I can’t find the humor I am going to end up in a fetal position in the corner throwing applesauce on my head. And I share the good – usually trying not to brag while doing it. I do have some rules about things I don’t share but I don’t think that makes me less real…I think that everyone appreciates that I don’t over share. My relationship with my husband is pretty much off limits in all social media arenas. I brag on him a little here and there and might occasionally complain he can’t remember that trash day is Friday even after 5 years but that is as much as anyone gets from me. My marriage is good but private. I get really uncomfortable when people overshare about their marital issues on FB. I also share less about the girls as they get older. Obviously, they aren’t completely off limits but there are things I keep to myself out of respect for them.

Are you your real self on FB? Are there things you hold back?

Tessa keeping it real with cowboy boots and fleece jammie pants:

Wednesday night, I was reunited with my jr high and high school love. It has been 25 years since I’ve seen him. But oh it was worth the wait. He rocked my world for 3 solid hours. And damn, he looked good doing it.

I loved him back in the day. I might have even cried a little bit when he married his high school sweetheart. He was supposed to marry me. Time marched forward. I accepted that he wouldn’t be mine. But he will always have a place on my laminated list.

A night of screaming and singing with my girl friends from the nosebleed section was loads of fun. (The woman in front of us who had beer dumped on her and asked the usher to move her might not agree. Man, she was pissed.) The after party was marred by my turning cranky over being cold and a little hung over while wandering up and down Broadway (beer from before the concert had worn off) but we turned it around and had fun. I finally, after 6 years of living in Nashville, got to see some live music on Broadway. I even had breakfast the Pancake Pantry (local institution) the next morning.

My throat may never be the same again. Here is 1/2 of our group around 2am – all more at least a little drunk.

There was a small gathering of families who adopted from Guatemala in Gatlinburg last weekend. We all rented little condos at a resort and hung out. I don’t want to post photos of other folks’ kiddos so you’ll have to just enjoy a couple of my little family.

It was an odd gathering. It seemed to be a group of people with nothing in common except beautiful Guatemalan children. But it was fun to step outside of our comfort zone (we didn’t know a sole…I was acquainted with 2 moms on FB) and remind Sabrina there are other families out there that look like ours. It was also fun to meet other families who had that in common with us. I miss that part of the adoption community. We didn’t spend a lot of time with the other families but Sabrina and Tessa got the chance to play with the other children while the adults chatted.

The highlight for the girls was the waterpark that was on the resort property. (Holy expensive! $84 for the 4 of us and the “lockers for a nominal fee” were an additional $10. It was a somewhat smaller and older one than the Great Wolf type place. Good speed for our little girls but wow that price tag hurt.) The highlight for me was Saturday night after the gathering of families. We went back to our little villa, popped some popcorn, got out some ice cream, lit a fire, and watched a Disney movie all snuggled up together. It made me all warm and fuzzy and squishy inside. It almost made up for the next day when they were both being gigantic butts.

I was telling a friend about this soup I made while my mother in law was in town. (She has a vitamix and I was thinking how silky smooth it would be after a blast in the vitamix.) She waved me off and told me to just blog it. She didn’t even want to hear about it. She likes the quick reference of the blog so here it is. (Mother in law in town for a week. Guess how many pictures I took? None. I suck.)

Doesn’t look very appetizing, does it? This is the last of the left overs. I didn’t even have a dollop of sour cream to put on top to make it a little prettier.

Black Bean Soup

1 lb dried black beans

1 ham hock (or pieces of cubed ham)

1 envelope ham bullion/flavor concentrate (I use Goya) – optional…I like the flavor it adds

1 can diced tomatoes (rotel would also be good)

1 sweet yellow onion

2 medium carrots

2 stalks celery

1 red or orange bell pepper

2-3 Tbs cumin

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp black pepper

1 Tbs chili powder

1 tsp ground chipotle pepper (or a few shakes cayenne)

4 garlic cloves

2 bay leaves

1 32 oz carton reduced or no sodium chicken broth

2 cups water

2 Tbs red wine vinegar or juice of a lime

If you have fresh cilantro, throw it in when you puree the soup.

First, soak your beans overnight. Give them with lots of room to expand in the water. Drain them when you are ready to cook.

All of these things are going to end up pureed so you can either dice them in your food processor/blender before you add them to the pot or let them cook in chunks and then puree them with the soup. I put them all the veggies and garlic through the food processor and then gave them a quick saute in the bottom of my soup pan. After they softened, I threw in everything else. Cover and let it all cook for 90(ish) minutes until the beans are very soft.

Here is the tricky part: getting it all pureed. First take out the bay leaves and throw them away. Then remove the ham hock. If you want to take pieces of meat off, do that and return the meat to the pot after you’ve pureed. If you are just throwing in ham pieces, do that after pureeing too. Pureed meat = gag. I have a stick blender but it is pretty cheap and doesn’t do a great job. So I thought I would use my Ninja blender. (Prior to this it was just a smoothie maker.) I put too much hot soup in several times and burnt myself and made a big mess. Add more water during blending if it seems too thick. Find a safe way to get it blended…I like it silky but others like it more rustic (read: chunky). Garnish with whatever sounds good: sour cream, cheese, avocado, etc. Enjoy!

Happy belated Valentine’s Day. Sabrina and I worked together on her box. She picked out the papers and items to decorate it – coordinating colors/patterns may not be her strong suit.

More proof of her interesting sense of style. This was a Saturday when we told her to get herself dressed. (A blue shirt is under the denim jacket.)

She also gets the short end of the stick when it comes to doing chore type things or working around the house. We did a toy purge yesterday. Tessa spent a lot time wandering around while Sabrina helped. And this morning, they decided to play with Tessa’s train set. Sabrina spent 20 minutes trying to set it up while Tessa “supervised”. She sat on the beanbag and took pretend photos with her pretend phone. She has a great future in government I think.

Sabrina didn’t seem to mind too much.

Tessa then enjoyed the fruits of Sabrina’s labor.

In other news, I am no longer an employee of SchmoAnn’s. It is fabulous to be home and spend the weekends with my little family again. It is also nice to be able to participate in social stuff with my girlfriends again. I’m still doing call screening for the radio show on Sunday nights but that only effects the family on Monday mornings when I’m tired and crabby.

I’m finally able to start playing with my art stuff again and am happy about that. I started a canvas just to stretch my fingers again and then I have 3 to do for a friend’s nursery. Hoping she loves them.

We are planning a garden this summer. It was supposed to start small and simple. Then my husband’s imagination go involved and it isn’t so small or simple anymore. I think this year we are going to try our garden plus setting aside the amount we spent on our CSA last year to go to farmer’s markets to supplement with stuff we aren’t growing, meat, eggs, and milk.  We want to see how much local food we can do that way instead of the CSA. We loved the CSA and it really taught me to cook differently and eat a lot of foods I never would have otherwise. But there was just enough waste between things we never learned to like (okra, greens, etc) and having weeks where we didn’t need/want more that we think we might be able to piece together something that works even better for us. If not, we’ll go the CSA route again because we really did enjoy it.

Every time I have that moment of trying to be That Mom – you the know the one that kids fondly remember for making things fun and special – it goes off the rails. I just have to laugh. The girls came in and piled on the bed this morning. I told them about there was 2 hour delay for school. (Around these parts, we call school off or start late just because something is possible. The forecast said we *might* have ice this morning. We didn’t.) I asked them if they wanted pancakes for breakfast!?! What a fun weekday treat! And, and…I could make banana pancakes. They requested the addition of chocolate chips (barf) and were quite excited about a morning of TV and bad for them breakfast food.

I knew I had 2 bananas that were past their prime. I didn’t think beyond that. I waltzed into my pantry feeling a little smug – what a good momma. Then I discovered I was almost out of pancake mix AND syrup. The refrigerator told me there wasn’t much milk left either. Suddenly wasn’t feeling so smug. I managed to MacGyver them together with a little regular Bisquick and a little gluten free Bisquick (kept around for my MIL’s visits) and a few other things. And I topped them with part syrup and part honey. Everyone was happy. Well except Tessa who discovered she doesn’t like chocolate chip banana pancakes. I made her a plain banana pancake so the day was saved. And thanks to a little improvisation, I still had enough milk left for my coffee.  Because let’s face it – without the coffee I might turn into Mommy Dearest.

I really need to check out my supplies before I try to be Donna Reed.

And just as an aside if anyone is interested, I can finally use my flash now and then! I hate the flash on my Canon Rebel – it is so harsh. But for Christmas, I got this very reasonably priced diffuser by Gary Fong for my pop up flash. (I am not pro enough to invest in a professional flash.) It isn’t perfect but it is so much better than the flash without it. Just a little tidbit for my amateur photog friends out there. (I mention it because I used the flash on both of these photos.)

1. People suck. Some folks feel they can say anything to a service worker they feel is beneath them. One person, angry over the denied use of expired coupons, told a co-worker that her sweater would look better on someone who wasn’t so fat. Another person commented that a co-worker, who was in a horrific car accident several years ago that required complete reconstruction of her face, would be pretty if she would just fix her wonky eye. A customer told me, after I couldn’t give her a teacher discount card because she had no proof of employment as a teacher, that maybe if I had stayed in school and listened to my teachers I wouldn’t be working at SchmoAnn’s at my age. (Me with my 19+ years of education who is still paying off my student loans – I laughed.) Who says those kinds of things?

2. People are awesome. I’ve seen folks share coupons, advice, and stories in the long Christmas line. I’ve been on the receiving end of heart felt thank yous and smiles that made my day brighter.

3. There is a special place in hell for people who don’t put things back on the shelf where they found them. I used to be headed there but I like to think this experience has paid up my karmatic debt. We literally spend HOURS daily putting things back because someone couldn’t be bothered to put it back where they found it. You want to know why prices are high? The payroll required for putting stuff back is part of it.

4. A smile and honest attempt to be helpful really does go a long way. I already knew that because it is what I want when I go into a store but it is amazing how most (rational) folks can be calmed by someone just stopping and listening to what they want and then making an honest effort to help. Even if ultimately we can’t help, they were heard and someone cared.

5. Coupons rock. Seriously. Check for apps for all of the stores you shop in. It is worth downloading that app at SchmoAnn’s.

6. Stores put shit on sale a tiny bit so that you can’t use the big value coupons. That expensive thingy you want? It is on sale 10% off so that you can’t use that 50% off any non sale item coupon. Yes, it is done on purpose. They plot that shit out carefully.

7. They also price shit high just so they can put it on sale. The day the spring inventory came in, it was marked 30% off. It will never be full price.

8. Employee discounts are pretty puny. I can do better with coupons.

9. Women can be more disgusting than men. It blows my mind the things I see in our public restroom. It also makes me retch sometimes. I can’t wrap my brain around anyone doing that in public.

10. Pinterest was started by one of the crafty store corporations. I can not tell you the number of times in the past 3 months someone has said to me “I saw this thing on Pinterest…”

11. I’m a chatty cashier. Who knew? I don’t particularly like chatty cashiers. I want you to ring up my stuff then let me go home. I don’t want to bond. But being a cashier if pretty freaking dull so chatting with people is really the only way to entertain myself. Plus, I’m always curious what they are doing with that strange assortment of items. So I chit chat while ringing people up. If they don’t respond, I stop but I’ve had some great conversations.

12. The amount of money women in my town spend on purses and wallets exceeds the GDP of most third world countries. The coaches and dooney’s and prada and louis vuitton and michael kors and fendi and chanel and kate spade. It is ridiculous what we ladies spend on purses. (Yes, I include myself because I love me a classic coach or dooney and bourke…I can’t help it.) And women carrying a $2000 Louis Vuitton and wearing $20K in diamonds will fight HARD over saving $2 with her coupons.

13. Comfortable shoes are the secret to a happy life if you work retail.

14. Glitter really IS the herpes of the craft world.

15. Mommy guilt SUCKS. Tessa cries when I go to work and asks me not to go. Sabrina says she has bad dreams when I’m not here when she goes to bed. While it has been nice to have days where I am not a human kleenex, it isn’t worth the tiny amount they are paying me to miss out on so much. I have worked every Saturday and Sunday (except those we traveled north) since I was hired. That is so much time away from the girls and Steve. I just can’t justify it. So, my short career at SchmoAnn’s will be ending in the coming weeks.

16. Boys buying fabric for a toga party are hilarious. And clueless. And full of hair product.

17. It is hard to curb my smart ass ways for 8 hours. Do you know how many times I’ve had to bite my tongue and nod when someone has looked at me stocking a shelf, wearing my SchmoAnn’s apron and name tag and asked “Do you work here?”

18. Working retail at 40 is way different than working retail at 18. Nothing a customer says bothers me. Nothing (bad) that happens sticks with me. I’ve never had a bad day at work. I do my job to the best of my ability but then I go home.

19. Be nice to a cashier. We can be A LOT more helpful (and sometimes have extra coupons tucked away) for those folks who are kind. I never give bad service but I am not inclined to go the extra mile if you are growling at me.

Disappeared again but this time I have a really good excuse. I got jobs. And suddenly I didn’t have time to have dinner with my family let alone update my lovely little piece of the interwebs. My jobs are nothing exciting. I do call screening for a radio talk show one night a week and I work at a crafty store that rhymes with SchmoAnn’s. SchmoAnn’s was scheduling me entirely too many hours during the holidays but has now backed off 2 what looks like 2 shifts a week which is perfect. I mostly took it to help over the holidays so I’m not sure how long I will keep it now that the holidays are done. We’ll see how much they schedule me and how they treat me. Not nearly as much fun as it sounds to work in a crafty store by the way. And there is a special place in hell for people who pick up a bunch of stuff and then abandon it in random places around the store. I used to do that sometimes. Karma is a bitch but I believe my debt is paid.

So since we last talked, Thanksgiving (never picked up the camera) and Christmas (picked up the camera briefly) and New Years (we had the plague) and Steve’s birthday (same as new years) happened. I have little to show you from those events. I’ve done very little cooking so no recipes. The only crafty thing I had time for was a little gift for a secret santa exchange.

And another chicken as a gift for a friend’s mother as well as a couple of ornaments for teacher gifts. Which I don’t have a photo of on my computer. It has been frustrating to be surrounded by crafty stuff and not have time to actually play with any of it. I plan to rectify that soon. The girls go back to school next Tuesday (longest. break. ever.) so maybe next week.

I have a confession to make. I’ve grown to dislike Christmas. It is too stuff driven. I love Thanksgiving because I get all of the warm fuzzies without the pressure to buy stuff. I like going north and spending time with family it is just all of the lead up that I dislike. So each year it feels like a relief when it is over. We went light on Christmas this year and had a nice holiday.  So fun to have a baby in the family again (nephew = 10 months old now).  Neither of the girls had any toy that they HAD to have this year but they had fun with all of the things they received. They still have gift cards to spend from one grandma so I’m curious to see what they choose for themselves.

A rare photo of the 4 of us and all of us looking toward the camera.

Hope you all had a great end to 2012 and a good start to 2013. I’ve spent 2013 trying to get both of the girls healthy. Still losing that battle so far but we are working on it. Some ugly bugs going around out there so keep they clorox wipes handy!

A friend had an 80’s murder mystery party for her 40th last night. Man, the 80’s were bitchin’. My full get up here.

October is strangely one of the busiest months of the year around here. I think it is because it is the first month that we are guaranteed that it won’t be like living on the surface of the sun so everyone plans events. This year, we’ve had the most pleasant late summer and autumn. It almost felt like being back north. So fabulous. Now it is cold, as it should be in November. I’m loving it less but it is nice to have what feels like normal seasons to this Yankee.

October was filled with homework (first grade is hard y’all), crafty fun, fall parties, lots of soup, and I can’t even tell you what else. Steve and I celebrated our 8th anniversary of wedded bliss. Sabrina was Cinderella for Halloween and Tessa was a butterfly for the second year in a row. Also, I just want to announce that as of October 29th, I finished our Christmas cards AND ordered them. How about I just share a few photos?

I think I’m going to work on canvases this winter and then do a craft show in the spring and see if anyone likes them enough to buy them. I thought about one this fall but it was coming up really fast and I would have had to work furiously to have enough. Part of the allure of this is that it is fun. I don’t want it to not be fun so spring seemed like a more reasonable time frame.

I made a wedding gift for one of Steve’s co-workers. I hope they liked it.

A gift for a sweet friend:

And for my kitchen. My own Beyonce. Knock Knock. I kind of love her. I smile every time I see her.