Keeping it real
By now, most folks who read blogs have seen this post about not airbrushing our lives to look so perfect on Facebook. While I agree, there are some folks out there who make everything seem idyllic and Martha inspired with perfectly framed photos and statuses about frolicking through orchards then making organic applesauce at home while smiling children assist with nary a spill in sight. It makes the rest of us feel as though we are falling short and doing it wrong. But, and this is a big but for me, don’t we all also have friends in our FB feeds who do nothing but complain? They focus on every little thing that doesn’t go their way and then put it out there because apparently they believe misery loves company or at least an audience? I don’t enjoy those people either.
I feel like I’m pretty real in my facebook feed. Yes, I show off the Martha moments – mostly because they are rare and I’m proud when I can pull it off. But I also share statuses about wanting to lock myself in the closet with a bottle of wine because my children are driving me insane. I don’t feel like snapping Instagrams of my overflowing-with-dirty-dishes kitchen sink or complaining about everything that doesn’t go my way is being more real. I share the bad – usually tempered with humor because if I can’t find the humor I am going to end up in a fetal position in the corner throwing applesauce on my head. And I share the good – usually trying not to brag while doing it. I do have some rules about things I don’t share but I don’t think that makes me less real…I think that everyone appreciates that I don’t over share. My relationship with my husband is pretty much off limits in all social media arenas. I brag on him a little here and there and might occasionally complain he can’t remember that trash day is Friday even after 5 years but that is as much as anyone gets from me. My marriage is good but private. I get really uncomfortable when people overshare about their marital issues on FB. I also share less about the girls as they get older. Obviously, they aren’t completely off limits but there are things I keep to myself out of respect for them.
Are you your real self on FB? Are there things you hold back?
Tessa keeping it real with cowboy boots and fleece jammie pants:
I now have 3 kids with FB. And they are my FB friends. Which greatly tempers any keeping it real I might be tempted to do. lol… Pretty much now the only one left I can post about is the funny stuff my 8 year old says.
No, seriously – I put a lot of things my kids say/do in the same category as marriage as far as public share-ability. I let my 11 year old son get an account just recently (so we can play games together) and he went through and “liked” a bunch of stuff I’d previously posted, which gave me pause.
I used to post a lot of adoption and hosting advocacy stuff too, but now I think my adopted kids would feel weird about that. So, I’ve tempered that too.
I’m like you. I don’t pretend everything is sunshine and roses all the time, because it’s not, but really personal things don’t make it to Facebook. Anything with my husband is pretty much off limits, unless it’s like, ooh date night! Because that only happens once every 6 or 7 weeks. LOL Or you know, it’s his birthday or he got me just because flowers. Things that only happen once in a while. I do post a lot about the kids, but I tend to generalize when things aren’t going well. Like this morning I put “I had a rough morning, may need extra coffee” What i didn’t put was that my kids were crying hysterically the entire time we were trying to leave because Daddy let them stay up an hour late last night and they were still tired, and all the screaming was making me want to fly into a rage and punch a hole in the wall and then run screaming from my family never to be seen again. LOL I left all that out, cause no one really needs to know all that, do they? So…I do gloss over my life. But i’m not making things like Martha Stewart beautiful either. I’m just cleaning it up a bit.