At Starbuck’s – a boy around 10 with his mother who was my age.

“You know about Guns ‘N Roses?! No way!”

I love those moments when kids get an inkling that their parents might have existed and had a life before they were born.

We all make typos but if you are sending something out for printing or putting it up for the public to see – ask someone to proof read it!

This sign went up 2 weeks ago at the development next to mine.  There is one at each entrance.  I want to call and ask if I can pay for an “all brick” home with “real money”.

I think this is my favorite:

They should stick to reading because their writing isn’t so good:

Talk amongst yourselfs:

At least they spelled “balloon” correctly:

I’m smiling because YOU’RE a moron for not getting someone to proof read it first:

Happy Friday ya’ll.

‘Nuff said.

Laptop on the fritz again…hope to return tomorrow.

This just made me laugh.

Nervous Charlie’s Market/Gas Station/Fireworks outlet and Souvenir shop.

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Southerners like their religion.  I’ve been quite surprised to find that the question “where do you go to church” is often one of the first 5 things someone asks upon meeting.  In my 30+ years in the north, I don’t think anyone ever asked me that.

The south uses the highway to attempt to save you from eternal damnation.  In the north we figure if you want to go to hell it is really none of our business – just get out of the left lane if you aren’t passing.

Top 10 best things about not being pregnant anymore

10. Bending at the waist! You don’t understand until you lose the ability. I no longer cry a little when I drop the soap in the shower. I can clip and paint my toenails with ease. And if I felt alert enough to trust myself to put a sharp object to my skin, I could shave easily too.

9. The hope that some day I will again be able to wear cute shoes and pants without elastic.

8. Not having to pee twice each hour. Sometimes I hold it now just because I can.

7. I may not get a lot of sleep but between feedings, I can lose consciousness sleep without pain and turn over without thought and planning. And? I can sleep on my stomach if I want.

6. Booze. In theory at least, I can have a drink again. I haven’t but I will one of these days. If I can stay awake. And sushi is on that list too.

5. People have stopped telling me their terrifying birth stories. Why do women feel compelled to tell the most horrific birth stories they’ve ever experienced or heard when they encounter a pregnant woman?

4. Coffee. With caffeine. ‘Nuff said. (Oh hush…it’s only 1 cup a day and I’m not giving it up again so quit your nagging internet.)

3. No one expects much from me at this point. I have a newborn and a 2 year old so people cut me a lot of slack. Lower expectations mean that I can often exceed expectations with little effort (look! She showered and fed herself and doesn’t have any spit up on her shirt – wow, she has it all together!).

2. Not one person has gone spelunking in my uterus since I left the hospital.

1. Boobs – I have them. Who knew? The rest of me may look like crap but my boobs look pretty darn good. I like to think they distract people from noticing my scary dark circles under my eyes. It is a shame I can’t keep them but I know they are loaners.

I know there are more out there but I ran across these 3 today.

First off, “high heeled” crib shoes for the low, low price of $35.   Yes, because young girls aren’t sexualized at an early enough age with the hoochie mama clothes…let’s throw in some high heeled crib shoes.

Next, a baby toupee.

And look!  A urinal you can put in the living room or kitchen.  How lovely!

Have you seen the Hallmark commercial for the Father’s Day Card that plays MC Hammer “Can’t Touch This”? I LOVE this commercial. We rewind it a couple of times every time we see it. It just cracks me up!

This seems like such a southern thing, I was surprised to find it wasn’t a story from AL or TN. But nope, Butler Missouri has the distinction of claiming this brilliant idea.

I first saw this at White Trash Mom. I had to follow the link and check it out myself. God, Guns & Gas – a coupon for a free handgun with the purchase of every car at Max Motors.

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Another thing that made me laugh today – Steve was watching Family Feud.  The question was “Top 6 answers on the board…Name someone whose ideas have changed the world”.  Dr. King was #1.  No objection there.  Ghandi and Mother Theresa didn’t make the list.  #2 Oprah.  #6 Jesus.  I’m seriously concerned about the future of our country.  Oprah has changed the world?  And not only that – she ranks above Jesus?

I swear there is a whole category of weird and humiliating things that seem to fall into the “only happen to me” genre.  They must happen to other people too…maybe they aren’t dumb honest enough to admit it to the whole internet.

I had several places to be this morning:  the doctor’s office, the old apartment, the post office, and finally meeting the hubby for lunch.  Notice that meeting my hubby for lunch is the last on that list.  As Steve and I are waiting in line to order at a Mongolian BBQ, a woman comes up and says “Excuse me ma’am.”  I thought I was in her way and tried to move.  She moved her face closer to mine, causing me to give her an odd look and try to back away.  It turns out, she wasn’t trying to invade my space, she was trying to be somewhat discreet in telling me I HAD A HUGE HOLE IN MY SKIRT AND MY ASS WAS HANGING OUT FOR ALL OF THE WORLD TO SEE.

Just so no one thinks I am exaggerating, here is the hole with my hand to demonstrate the amount of skin and underwear I was flashing:

It is a broomstick skirt so there is a lot of extra material so it wasn’t that my pregnant butt was too big for it…apparently buying a cheap skirt at Sam’s Club is just asking for an embarrassing moment.

I’ve been sitting here wondering all afternoon exactly how long my butt was hanging out before someone had the courage to be kind and tell me.