We love and miss you daddy.  Here are some more pictures from our day:

The wonderful handmade burp clothes Julie P. made us.

Wardrobe change…aren’t I the cutest thing ever?

Mommy doesn’t think I know what she is doing but I know she is trying to tire me out before bed.  My first time in a walker…I’m not sure what to make of it.

Ahhh…this is more my speed.  This funky chicken cracks me up!

Mommy, why can’t I get these things in my mouth?  I really think they might taste good.

With Abuela in Antigua today, the girls are just hanging out.  We spent some time upstairs in the family room – we met some nice families.  I met my non-blogging stranger friend Julie P.  Her little Ally is a cutie!  And she got me a blogger pal gift of the non-secret variety! She made us some darling burp cloths!  Thank you Julie!  Another blogger pal was going to come in from Antigua and hang out at the pool but wasn’t allowed.  We missed you today Cheri!

This one is for daddy – she fell asleep holding the orange giraffe.

This was just before all of the fit throwing started last night.

Mommy got smart this morning and dressed her AFTER breakfast.

Sabrina wanted to show off her personalized bloomers – thanks SBP!

Bad attempt at a self portrait.  With Abuela gone, it’s the best we could do daddy!

She was doing this when I started this blog post but she didn’t even make it until the end.  Those 20 minute power naps are for the birds!

This post is being written in the spirit of sharing my true experience. I hestitated to post it because I don’t want anyone rolling their eyes and saying “I can’t believe she is complaining after 3 days!” I’m not complaining…just telling it like it is.
First, I love this face. She is my daughter. I am her mom. I adore her. I treasure this time with her. But this parenting chickenbus is hard.

Last night, I was in tears because I felt like a failure. I’m essentially a single parent during this trip – Steve isn’t here and my mom only steps in if I ask for help and I am too proud to ask for help because I want to prove (to whom?) that I can do this. Sabrina has not been feeling great so she hasn’t been eating as well as she should and she certainly hasn’t been sleeping as much as she needs to. That equals one very cranky baby and one very tired mommy. I couldn’t comfort her no matter what I tried all last evening. And it is so out of character for her to just cry that I felt like an utter failure. She was crying, hitting me, pinching me, and scratching me for hours. She would not stop. My mom wasn’t around and I just reached a point where I had to put her in her crib and lie on the bed for 5 minutes. After only 2 1/2 days, I hit the wall and had to walk away. That made me feel even worse. This is my daughter! I love her – how could I walk away when she needed comforting? Why couldn’t I handle one night of fussiness?

Mom returned, assured me I wasn’t an evil horrible mother, and took over for a little bit. Sabrina finally slept through the night (although I did not – go figure). We both woke up smiling. I’m feeling much better and I know that most moms have those moments – I just didn’t expect it during my short visit here. I can’t express how much harder this is without Steve. He always makes everything okay and does more than his share. Single moms and moms whose husbands don’t help – you have my undying respect.

Okay, all further posts will be happy and filled with photos of my beautiful girl. We are having a great morning so far. Abuela is headed to Antigua for the day (I am a little jealous but glad she can make the trip). Sabrina and I are heading down for some cafe con leche and some yummy fresh fruit.  And yep, even after a night like last night, I can’t wait to have her at home forever.

Hola everyone!  Mom says you are all anxious to hear how our visit is going.

First mom dresses me up and takes pictures of my outfit.  I’m wearing my first hair bow – apparently this is a big deal.  (Hey Sig – can you stop giving my mom ideas?)
I think the green bow looks pretty yummy…but I can’t quite get it into my mouth.

Then I get breakfast – I think I got more on mommy than I did in me.  Hehe.

Mommy and Abuela wanted to hang out here all day long.

Then more pictures of me…it does get tiresome.

Mommy and I drank these all afternoon.  (I can’t decide if she is a lush or just a good time…but she had 2 of these today and 1 yesterday, I’m seeing a trend that might get out of hand.)

I’m bored with you people…I think I’ll nap.

I woke up to see this guy in a speedo – I’m too young to be damaged that way!

Hey mom – you ever heard the term “stalker-azzi?”  (The stalker-azzi reference is for my girl Gemmie who loves all things trashy!)  Enough with the camera already!

Okay, I think it is time for me to be cranky again for no reason. I’ve got a cold and am giving mommy a litlte bit of a hard time.

Everyone was asking how Abuela reacted to meeting the fabulous Miss Sabrina in yesterday’s comments. She of course adores her like everyone who meets her! She graciously took the night shift last night since I hadn’t slept in about 40 hours. She fell right into her role as Grandma – comforting and soothing Sabrina.

Last night Sabrina was running a temperature – at times like that it is nice to have a nurse for an Abuela. It broke a few hours later and she seems fine today – just a little cranky. She seems a little cuddlier than our first trip and obviously sleeps less but otherwise her disposition remains pretty laid back. She gets pissed sometimes but mostly is just a calm and happy baby.

After breakfast we spent the morning by the pool. (Abuela is now in love with the Westin cafe con leche and the black beans too.) Here are some photos from last night and this morning.

After her bath.
I think I might like carrots.

Hey, that’s Abuela over there!

Me & Momma

Abuela and me

Maybe I’ll be a Harley chick!

Thanks Uncle Mikey & Aunt Rusty! I like my Harley outfit and Harley bear. Gotta go now – back down to the pool!

My flight was almost 90 minutes late taking off and I only had 70 minutes between flights. Fortunately, my flight in Houston was also running a little late so a 5 mile sprint to the international concourse got me there just as they were boarding. Phew!

I’m having internet issues – I can’t get it to work on my computer so no webcam for Steve. We didn’t have any problem connecting with mom’s computer so I’m trying to figure out how to download photos and things on hers.

Sabrina is beautiful as always. She has a little bit of a cold but otherwise is doing well. Her foster mom is such a sweet heart – she actually brought gifts for us but insisted they were from Sabrina for Valentine’s Day.

Lots more photos to come. I’m tired and can’t get mom’s computer to cooperate. They are tiny – sorry!

5 inches of snow and 3 hours of freezing rain – lovely.  It is still doing the freezing rain thing out there – everything is encased in ice.  We are supposed to get another 3-7 inches of snow overnight.  The airport is currently reporting only 15 minute delays for flights going to destinations where it isn’t snowing.  (I’m headed to Houston so thumbs up there.)  So let’s hope that they continue to safely move air traffic out of this city!  I’m planning on leaving a couple of hours earlier than I originally planned (perhaps 1:30am? ugghh – my flight leaves at 6am) so that I can take it really slow on my way to the airport.  It’s about 35 minutes to the airport in good weather.  I’ve made arrangements with my agency for my mom to pick Sabrina up if I miss our flight…sigh, I don’t want to spend a day in the airport instead of with my daughter.  Cross your fingers!

It started snowing here this morning.  A lot.  It is supposed to keep snowing until Thursday.  Steve and I stick pretty close to home most of the time.  But I’m flying to Guatemala tomorrow morning and he’s driving to NC tonight – in the midst of our first real winter storm – tends to work out that way doesn’t it?  I’m going to be a wreck until my flight takes off at least close to on time and Steve is safely home again tomorrow night. 

Laundry is done.  I started packing last night.  I am pretty sure I will be taking 2 suitcases.  With all of the cereal and baby food I want to take, there is no way everything will fit in one suitcase.  Sabrina will again have her own suitcase and it will be the largest. 

This trip will be well documented so check in for updates and photos once or twice daily – I have to keep Daddy in the loop so you all get to stay in the loop too – you’ll probably be sick of the minutiae by the time the trip is over so just skip the text and go straight for the photos.  Uncle Mikey and Daddy are both anxious to see Miss Sabrina in a little outfit that Uncle Mikey and Aunt Rusty bought her for Christmas so we’ll see if everyone can guess which one that is when the fashion show starts.  (Hint – it isn’t pink.)

There are a lot of things about working in an office that really suck.  But there are some good things too.  There is an incredibly sweet woman on my floor.  I’ve never seen her not smiling or express that she is having a bad day.  (Admittedly I occasionally am annoyed by this over-the-top cheerfulness but usually she just makes me smile.)  She adopted her grandson as a baby, now age 15, so we talk about adoption a good bit.  I was walking into work today, muttering under my breath that I only had to endure the cold for 2 more days and then I get a respite of warm and humid air in Guatemala.  I got to my floor and discovered that this sweet woman had spent time baking this weekend.  She brought in a big loaf of yummy banana bread and a very moist pound cake.  She was standing in the doorway of our kitchen and encouraging everyone to come and try a slice of each.  I compromised and had ½ a slice of each – yummy!  It was so nice to be greeted on this cold Monday morning by her smiling face and wonderful baked goods.  I enjoyed starting my day with a cup of tea and some tangible goodwill. 

Completely changing subjects, we bought webcams so that we can be in touch while I am in Guatemala.  I’m not a webcam kind of girl so I’m clueless about them.  The only way I know to view webcams is through yahoo messenger – but that means no sound.  Is there is free (or cheap) service out there that will allow us to talk via webcam so that Steve can hear and see Sabrina? 

I have to go home tonight and do laundry. I must start packing!  I have this dream that I can fit everything in one suitcase and keep it less than 50lbs.  But between my clothes, Sabrina’s clothes, diapers, baby cereal, baby food, bottles, the formula I forgot to leave for the foster mom last time, Ziplocs for my friends, and my big old bag of peanut M&Ms, I’m just not sure that I will get it all in one and under weight.  I really don’t want to have to wrestle 2 suitcases plus a carry on by myself – but I will if I have to.  Luggage doesn’t matter – I can’t wait to have Sabrina in my arms again!  We are supposed to get a butt-load of snow on Wednesday so pray that it holds off until I’m in the air!

I couldn’t be more sloth-like today.  I slept in later than I can remember sleeping in ages – I needed it though.  Then Steve and I went to see Dream Girls.  The movie was great and so was the popcorn.  After the movie we decided to try a new middle eastern place.  I got hummus and kibbi – good enough that we’ll go back and try some other things.  They had my favorite beer (Stella Artois) so bonus points for them.
I was supposed to do laundry and pack today.  That hasn’t happened.  I might get some laundry done before bed but I don’t see much packing happening tonight.  I’m going to have to start making up stuff so I have something to write about.