Steve and I have a rule – I don’t go to Target unsupervised and he doesn’t go to Best Buy unsupervised.  It gets ugly.  Today we broke that rule because he didn’t feel like going to Target on a Saturday morning with all of the soccer moms.

I was didn’t go too crazy.  I bought 5 big boxes of baby cereal to take down to our foster mom.  I have no concept of how much cereal Sabrina might eat in a month’s time so I’m hoping that lasts a little while.  I also bought a bunch of stage 1 veggies and fruits to leave with her.  I hear that both the cereal and the baby food in Guatemala tends to have a lot of sugar in it so I wanted to give our foster mom a bit of a supply.  If this process continues to drag out, I may visit again and will take more but I’ll also have to accept that  I have no control over what Sabrina is being fed.

I also bought myself a couple of plain t-shirts (on sale for $7) because a girl can’t have too many white and neutral colored t-shirts. And I got some cute sandals to wear next week.  They have cute beads on them:
And yes, I will be giving myself a pedicure before then.  It is winter – no one sees my feet so I am sad to say that is the remenants of the nail polish I had put on during my September pedicure in Houston.  The polish looked great for weeks and then it got cold so I never removed it.  I’m lazy that way in the winter.  Be glad I’m not modeling my new capris and sharing how often I shave my legs in the winter.  Heh.

Speaking of my new capris, I also went to Sam’s Club unsupervised.  We don’t have an official rule against that but we both acknowledge it isn’t a good idea.  There I was very well behaved.  I bought a pineapple, some blackberries, peanut M&Ms for my trip (the first bag I bought to take didn’t make it), and some cute capris.  To my blog friends who are visiting at the same time I am, I promise to shave my legs before I leave the states so I don’t scare anyone.

Miss Sabrina very obviously is not impressed by trips to the doctor.  She never smiles in her doctor update photos – to be fair, I wouldn’t either.  I’m not a fan of trips to the doctor either.  She is up to 13lb 12oz at her 5 month check up.  She had a cold last week but is over it already.  I love this little dress – I wish I could take credit for it!

We got some surprise visit photos this morning.  It looks like our girl was having a bad hair day!

The report mentioned she is already eating cereal, baby food and fruit!  That is one of the things I don’t like about this process – I don’t know if I would have started her on baby food or fruit yet.  But she is healthy, the doctor down there okayed it, and it’s not my decision.  I guess this mommy needs to go buy some spoons, bowls and a couple of jars of baby food to take to Guatemala.  I’m sure she isn’t eating much so it won’t require much in the way of supplies.

This time next week I’ll be holding Miss Sabrina! I can’t wait! I’m getting excited about our trip now – but I still have guilt over Steve not coming with me. We are going to buy a webcam so he can see her every day while I am there. I will probably give them webcam to my mom after the trip and we’ll buy a second one to facilitate Abuela web visits once Sabrina is home.

I had an all day meeting today with people I don’t see often so I got to show off pictures all day. But I also had to answer the dreaded “When will she be home?” question 15 times. It is amazing how many people are interested in our journey. I always enjoy the opportunity to educate others about adoption.

In other news, the temperature reached double digits today AND the sun is out – WOOHOO! Heat wave! I am looking forward to digging out my sandals and capris for nice warm Guatemala.

Completely off topic – does anyone watch Gilmore Girls?  I hate what they are doing with Loreli and Christopher.  Christopher is being a big butt head.  Lost is returning tonight…I’m trying to decide if I still care.

I had any adoption progress to report (we got pre-approval on 11/16). So you can imagine how happy I am to finally have some more good news! I received an email yesterday afternoon that our social worker interviews for family court were completed yesterday!!!

I am so happy to have those done. The obvious reason is because it is another step forward – now we just need that report typed so we can get out of family court (3-6 weeks for those not involved with Guatemalan adoption). The other reason I am so happy and relieved they are over is that I was terrified Sabrina’s birth mom might change her mind. I know it usually happens at DNA but DNA was taken 4 months ago. She’s had 4 months to reconsider. And I was terrified that when the social worker put Sabrina in her lap and asked “Are you sure?” she would decide she couldn’t let that beautiful little girl go – who could blame her? Thankfully, she stood by her decision and Sabrina is one step closer to being ours.

I spent a lot of time last night thinking about Sabrina’s birth mom. She turned 19 last month and has another 4 year old daughter at home with her. I can’t imagine the strength it took to give Sabrina up initially and then be asked to hold her at 1 month old and again at 5 months old only to hand her back. Yesterday was the last time she will see Sabrina. My heart breaks with the pain she must be experiencing. I hope she has some idea of how much Sabrina will be loved and treasured in our home.

Julie P doesn’t have a blog but wanted to post this thank you to her SBP:

I’ve attached a picture of the adorable tag blanket – and the envelope – it came addressed to me and Ally – its the first mail that came addressed to my daughter.
I got all choked up; mail for her here at my house.
I’ve been secretly wanting a taggie blanket but just couldn’t justify it – what a great gift!! I can’t wait to share it with her when I see her in less than 2 weeks. Thank-you so much SBP!!

Our friends have a group of us over for the Super Bowl every year.  The highlight?  The food.  We all bring stuff and forget nutritional value for the evening.  I walked in the door and seriously didn’t stop eating for the first 40 minutes.  I ate tossed salad, 3 servings of a wonderful fresh fruit salad (I always crave fruit this time of year because apples are the only thing you see in the grocery store), shrimp, beef stick, fritos with taco dip, beer cheese dip (yumm-o!), some kind of blueberry dessert, and a brownie.  I just talked and stuffed my face non-stop until the game started.  And then I went back for an Italian sausage and another brownie at half time!  Oink, oink. 

As for the game?  I haven’t seen much of a game or the commercials since I met Steve and started attending this party.  Between the kids playing and the adults talking I miss most of what happens.  The kids did a little better at entertaining themselves this year so I did catch some of the action.  The game was rather bizarro.  Prince doing Purple Rain in the rain was kind of cool.  I saw a couple of commercials I liked:
*Hungry puppy “becoming” a Dalmatian – too cute.
*Blockbuster rabbit and guinea pig with the mouse – a little mean but cracked me up!
*The coke grand theft auto ad – I thought it was clever and happy.
*K-fed the fry cook – cracked up at this one.
*I didn’t see the Revlon commercial with Sheryl Crow – I’m just glad to hear that advertisers are starting to realize that the other half of the population watches the Super Bowl too!

Obviously no one likes all of the commercials but the one that really left me scratching my head was the robot dreaming about committing suicide.  Huh?

It was 4 degrees this morning.  Don’t even ask about the windchill.  And I had to go out to the grocery store so I could make something to take to the Super Bowl party we are attending tonight.  BRRRRR…..!

I got another wonderful SBP gift in the mail yesterday.  My SBP rocks and so does this site where she found all of the great gifts she has sent (I had some email conversations with the site owner and she seems pretty wonderful too).

I’m so excited! I’ve been meaning to get Sabrina one and now she has this mucho cool purple taggie blankie!  Thanks SBP – just in time for our trip too!

I spent most of yesterday in Ohio.  I had lunch with an old friend.  Amy is a great lady and I miss her so it was great to sit down for a few hours and catch up.

I sold 5 of the 7 sets of magnets I posted on Ebay…not sure if they were all blog friends but thanks to those who purchased them!  I’ll ship them tomorrow – hope you enjoy them!

I received word last night that one of the women I was referring to in my post yesterday finally got back into PGN after months spent fixing the issue.  So so happy to hear that! I hope that her little one sails through PGN now and is home quickly!

It’s human nature.  You never think it is going to be you.  You worry that it might be you, you joke that it is likely to be you, you fear it could be you – but you never really believe in your heart of hearts that it will be.

I joked that with my luck, I would hit every bump and snag in the process – but I didn’t really believe it.  I was looking at my calendar – trying for the umpteenth time to figure out when Sabrina might be home if we don’t have any more problems.  I realized that I am now approaching the time when I originally thought I would be leaving my job and bringing her home.  A friend who received her referral the same night we did is picking her beautiful girl up next week so I was right…just not for us.  I find myself a little shell shocked to be sitting here with a 5 month old baby who just entered family court.  How did that happen?  I’m bewildered by it.  She should be in PGN and I should be fretting over previos.  I didn’t think I would have one of the cases that people tsked and shook their heads over and said “well look at poor Michelle”.  But suddenly I am.  Looking at my calendar, May will be her homecoming if things are perfect from here on out.  If we get a previo?  I’m suddenly wondering if our annual July vacation will be displaced by a pick up trip to Guatemala.  This isn’t what I saw in the brochure when I signed up.  I saw babies coming home at 4 and 5 months old. (Please read that with the sarcasm that was intended.  Girl on the edge here…don’t poke me with a stick today.)

Even with the above wallowing, I don’t even come close to a worst case scenario.  Worst case scenario is that she wouldn’t come home at all (that would require heavy medication and a padded cell for me – don’t even ask me to go there).  But there are others out there who are having a rougher time.  Two women come to mind from my agency.  One has been kicked out for months and waiting for a fix that satisfies Barrios.  Another has been kicked out for 2 months while waiting for a fix.  She is fostering in Antigua.  She is with her child but she is also essentially captive in Guatemala until this is handled.   A blogger comes to mind who has been stuck in PGN for over 5 months because of previos.  Looking at my agency message board, the new PGN reviewers have been over zealous in their previo-ing.  They’ve been handing out 3 and 4 to most files that cross their desks.  As a result many people are beginning their weekends with great despair.  I guess the scariest part is the arbitrary nature of it all.  No one is questioning if we will be good parents or if the birth moms really want to put babies up for adoption.  They are just finding paperwork issues to delay the process – to make it less attractive.

So while I have my pity parties, I also count my blessings and continue my good thoughts for friends out there that are stuck deeper in the mud than me.  I am thinking of all of you out there today.  I am feeling sad that politics are keeping our children in another country.  I am wishing for all of us have some peace (and a baby coming home soon).

*I’m having a slight ethical dilemma.  All of the executive staff under the age of 40 were drafted to attend an intern fair at a local university.  Is it wrong for me to spend 3 hours trying to sucker coerce influence young people to come work in a place I hate?  To be fair, I guess I don’t hate the place.  I hate my position.  The place is kind of sucky but most of the people are okay. 

*Poor Steve.  I must have been solving the world’s problems last night in my dreams because he said I was grinding my teeth so loudly that I kept him awake half the night.  No wonder I don’t feel completely rested. 

*It has snowed everyday for 2 weeks.  We only have maybe 2 inches on the ground but it snows just enough every morning that I have to scrape my windshield.  Between that and a road they decided to close for the next 6 months which screws up traffic on my bridge, I haven’t been to work on time in 2 weeks.

*Carla asked if the day I forgot was bra was going “brammando”.  HA!  You kill me girl!

*Two dear friends received previos yesterday after 6 o& 7 weeks in PGN.  This is such a blow when it happens.  You have reached a point where you almost think you are going to make it through and WHAM.  Now they have to make the fix requested and start the wait over.  It is so disheartening because previos are 95% political.  The issues cited have nothing to do with the baby going to a good home with good parents.  The occasional previo has to do with a birth mom issue that might or might not truly need to be corrected to ensure a clean process – but the rest are truly just to lengthen the process.  An accent forgotten over a letter, a typo, the wrong color of ink, a document that is supposedly missing but was simply overlooked in the file – these things only keep our children in foster care longer and make the transition home harder because they are older.  I wish I could understand how holding these children back serves any purpose. 

*Another dilemma I had yesterday.  When I have time, I help out with a co-workers program working with CYF kids who are graduating from high school.  We try to help the kids plan what comes next – applying for college, getting a job, finding a place to live…the kind of things a parent would normally help with.  The majority of kids that I meet with are lacking in social skills and behind the curve in intellectual development.  But the girl I met yesterday was articulate, smart, funny, mature and very likeable.  I asked her what her plan was after high school.  She wants to skip college, work full time at her waitressing job and write short stories.  She found a place that will publish “anyone” for a fee and then try to get book stores to buy the finished works.  I would bet that she writes well.  But I was torn between supporting her dream and giving her the cold hard facts that being poor is hard and her plan likely wouldn’t result in her selling many books.  I tried to suggest alternatives without stomping on her dreams.  Because she wasn’t at all interested in a going to college full time, I suggested that she take English literature and creative writing classes part time at the community college while she works.  I took the stance that if nothing else the college experience would give her new fodder for her writing as well as new eyes critiquing her work so that she can continue to improve her craft.  She agreed this sounded like a reasonable idea.  Is it wrong that I still hope to persuade her to stick with school and get a degree?  I’m supposed to let her choose her own path and I support her wanting to be a writer.  I just fear that the way she wants to go about it will result in her waking up in 10 years still waitressing and no longer writing because she is just trying to survive.