Several of you have emailed to tell me about your bed rest experiences. A couple of you had some long term bed rest – I don’t know how you did it! I’m hoping to be released from bed rest at my next doctor appointment (Tuesday). She ordered it because I was spotting. Progesterone seems to have resolved that problem pretty quickly so I’m hoping she will tell me to go about my life next time I see her.

The cold? Sucks. I can’t believe how much I miss cold medicine. The doctor won’t let me take anything. She suggested saline drops in my nose. Yeah…can’t get it through the wall of snot and even if I could it isn’t going to clear the rest of my head or my chest. I tried Vick’s last night – that didn’t particularly help either. So I am just suffering through it. I might be less cranky about it if I could sleep. But I can’t stop coughing long enough to really fall asleep.  Let’s review: bored + restless + sick + exhausted = one pissed off pregnant lady. Eh, it sounds worse than it is. I’m actually okay other than not feeling well.

Steve has the unfortunate job of listening to me moan and complain between coughing and blowing my nose.  He did get some free entertainment last night.  I can’t even remember what set me off but I started to cry over something silly on TV.  Then I started to laugh at myself for crying.  I sat there for 5 minutes alternating between laughing and crying while he looked on in awe then collapsed in laughter.  It really was quite the spectacle.  But the rest of the time he just looks at me helplessly because I’m a pathetic sight.

I had visitors today!  Cynthia and her mom brought me some home made soup.  It was great to see someone from the outside world.  And it forced me to put on something other than sweatpants for the first time in 3 days.

My bright spot? It looks like Elle shipped out the truffles this week. Woohoo!!!

I tried one of the sugar free cheesecake recipes I found on line. It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t cheesecake. It basically tastes like vanilla pudding with a hint of cream cheese. So the quest continues. (A couple of you have shared recipes…thank you!)  The better sounding recipes require a springform pan and I’ve never been a big baker so I’ve never seen the need to own one. I will try another recipe soon and see if I can’t find one that is decent. Melissa also pointed out that the Cheesecake Factory has a sugar free version. I checked out the menu on line and she is correct. I might just have to send Steve over there to pick up a piece if this yen doesn’t subside.

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Miss Zoot had this link on her blog yesterday and it cracked me up. They actually spent time and money studying why pregnant women don’t tip over.

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My cold has progressed to the point where I can do a very passable Barry White impression.

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Since I’ve had to give up my beloved Guatemalan coffee, I’ve been trying some different decaf teas. I have to say, I never thought Chai would be my thing because I’m not really into the warm spices but it isn’t half bad.

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I’ll try and capture some Sabrina cuteness – I have been seriously slacking in my photo taking the past couple of weeks.

First off, you all realized that the list of things about still being young (holding my liquor, staying up late then getting up early) – those were all in my head, right?.  A real life friend emailed me and called bullshit – I didn’t realize I wasn’t clear.  That is ALL in my head – because I still think I am 20, I think I can do those things until I try and fail miserably.

I have to do a very small amount of whining now.  I promise it will be quick.  I’m going to sound all self involved and make something that in no one’s universe has anything to do with me all about me.  I hate that the writer’s strike is making my bed rest time even more dull than it might be otherwise.  There is nothing to TiVo!  Everyone is out of new shows.  The only things left are bad Christmas movies (damn hormones…the Lifetime ones make me cry now which I find mortifying) and reality shows.  I am reading a lot which I love but my judgment wasn’t great with the last crop of books I picked up. /end whine

Steve has been great.  He came home from work, played with Sabrina and the dog, made dinner, and did a load of laundry.  All while I sat on my butt.  I felt rather guilty.

I’m catching a cold.  I don’t know how that is possible given that I am eating so healthy no one who knows me would believe it (did you know there are FIVE food groups?  I know, I was shocked too) and I’m taking vitamins and iron – my immune system is so beefed up it should be building a fence at the border.

I really want cheesecake.  Anyone have a good sugar free or low carb cheesecake recipe?  I’ve found a few but I’m not sure which to try.

Wow. You guys are as good at being a cheering section for my good news as you are a support when I am a mess. Thank you for all of your wonderful wishes and prayers and good thoughts and similar stories you’ve shared. And thank you to those who live close by and have offered help…if this bed rest thing goes longer than a week you better hide if you didn’t mean it!  As for all of your suggestions – thanks!  She is spending lots of time with mommy on the couch and on the floor.  I just can’t avoid picking her up to put her in or out of bed and in and out of her high chair.  Otherwise, I am trying to follow doctor’s orders.

I did something I hate doing – I picked my doctor randomly out of the insurance provider list. I tried a big practice first because they have a high risk clinic but they couldn’t even see me for the first appointment until January. So my current doctor was my second call. I was a little freaked out because she answered the phone. I jokingly told my husband that her practice must be in a van down by the river. There are things I’m not so sure I like about her but the woman is thorough beyond anything I’ve encountered in an MD before. She doesn’t double book patients – she believes that no one should ever have to sit in the waiting room or exam room waiting for her. (I didn’t know you could run a profitable practice that way in this day and age.) She spent 2 solid hours with me on my first visit. When one of the services she wanted to set me up with said they weren’t available for a few days, she called them up personally and demanded that they make it happen faster. (They all seem to be a little afraid of her.) She calls me from her cell phone some mornings to check on me. I’m incredibly impressed by her standard of care and really freaked out by how completely she has taken over my world in the past 10 days. I don’t know if I should hug her for caring so much or tell her to back the chickenbus off.

I have to mention something that has been bugging me. In my head, I’m still 20. I’m still young, still able to hold my liquor, still able to stay up late and get up early, still closer to the age of the teens working the register than the old fogies being waited on, still secretly thrilled at the thought I might be enough of a grown up to plan my very own vacation. In reality? I know that I am 35 but that still catches me by surprise quite often. Now given my cognitive dissonance (see that grad school tuition I am still paying for was good for something) on the subject of my age, I have to say I am quite bothered by my doctor’s need to point out my “advanced” age each and every time we speak (she is in her 50’s). I only barely feel prepared to be a parent and she is discussing how “advanced” age adds another risk factor to my pregnancy. When I called to make my first appointment I spoke with the doctor (I know – weird) and she pointed out my age. At my first appointment, she mentioned it twice. The second time we met she mentioned it and again today she had to throw it out there. The pathetic thing is every time she says it, I have to stop and think about what she means because my first thought is “Dude. I’m barely old enough to have kids!” Someday I’ll be getting the senior citizen discount and feeling like I am getting away with something.

The other thing that made me laugh – she threw the ultimate cliche at me during my first appointment. She said “A lot of my patients adopt and then get pregnant right away because they relax.” I hate both the cliche that if you adopt then you will get pregnant and the just relax and you will get pregnant thing. But I know she means well.

I feel kind of bad.  You were all so wonderful when I announced my impending miscarriage 10 days ago.  It was so amazing to receive all of that support from my bloggy pals.  It seems I cried wolf a little too early.

There has been a lot going on with me medically in the past 10 days.  I won’t go into it all but it has been a little overwhelming.  I got the first inkling of hope last Monday.  My doctor’s office called to tell me that my HcG (pregnancy hormone) levels hadn’t doubled between Thursday and Saturday but they had risen significantly (the level is supposed to double every 48-72 hours in early pregnancy).  I wasn’t sure what to make of that.  On Saturday my doctor had agreed with me that I was miscarrying.  Spotting and mild cramping continued.  I was still waiting for the miscarriage to happen.

I went back to the doctor this morning and she did another ultrasound.  I saw and heard the heartbeat!   I can’t even describe that feeling.  I’ve never gotten that far in a pregnancy before.  Remember I said she gave me the “might have ovulated later than you thought…yada yada yada” speech?  Well apparently this time it was correct.  According to my HcG levels and the ultrasounds I am now 6w4d.

This pregnancy isn’t a sure thing – not by a long shot.  I have a medical issue that complicates pregnancy a good deal.  But we’ve now reached a point we’ve never reached before – a heartbeat.  I’m supposed to be on bed rest now – she even said I can’t pick up Sabrina.  Any idea how that is supposed to work as a stay at home mom?  Steve will do everything in his power to make things easy for me when he is home but for 10 hours a day it is me and the girl.  I will take it easy.  I will stop exercising (they want me to be a fat cow apparently – eat more, move less).  I will be a good girl.  But I can’t promise not to pick up my daughter.  Poor Sabrina is going to be so bored since we are supposed to stay house bound for awhile.

At this point, we are in a wait and see pattern but it felt good to have some hope today.

We’ve been laughing for the past couple of months because our weather has been pretty close to the weather our friends and family are enjoying at home.  We thought when we moved south we would be able to brag about our weather in the fall and winter but so far no dice.  Until this week.  Ohio and PA had their first snow.  At almost 9pm, it is still 65 degrees here.  It was in the low 70’s today and is supposed to stay there for part of the coming week.  It hasn’t been pretty though…gray and overcast all weekend and rainy in the coming days.

Yes, I am actually blogging about the weather.  That is what it has come to here at Michelle Smiles.  Hopefully the coming week will bring some more interesting blog fodder.

Our weekend has been quiet.  Friday night was Steve’s office Christmas party.  Sabrina enjoyed being the center of attention but she was up past her bedtime and wound for sound by the time we got her home.  Sabrina and I had a little play date Saturday morning.  We all went out for ribs last night (I had a yen).  Otherwise, we have kind of holed up here at home.  I’ve been reading and napping.  Steve has been playing video games and watching Planet Earth on Discovery.  Sabrina has been dragging around her beloved kleenex box and sprouting her 8th tooth.

My momma is defending her PhD dissertation today. How cool is it that I have a wicked smart mom? Good luck Momma!

In Sabrina news, she is walking like a champ now. She still prefers to crawl for speed but she will get up and walk across the room when the mood strikes.

She loves my fuzzy slippers – she is always petting them.

Reading her book

And her new favorite toy – an empty kleenex box. She stuffs all sorts of little toys and a random shoe inside and carries it around every where. We are thinking of upgrading and giving her a shoe box for Christmas.

Yesterday was the anniversary of the day we first met Sabrina in Guatemala.  I can’t believe that first visit trip was a year ago and that it was only a year ago.  What a difference a year makes.

That is the question.  I’ve been trying to decide if I feel like dragging the Christmas tree out of storage this weekend and putting it up.  I know I should but honestly it sounds like a lot of trouble.  Sabrina is too young to care one way or the other and we will be out of town for the holidays.  But, my mom is coming to celebrate after Christmas so I feel like perhaps we should put it up.  I really do love decorating the tree every year.  I just hate putting the chickenbussing thing together, fluffing the 3o24 branches, and putting lights on it.  That and the fact that the tree is so big and I’m not sure where it will fit.  I thought about just buying a little baby live one (think Charlie Brown’s tree) but that would require me digging out all of the Christmas boxes to decorate it and then cleaning up needles for 7 months.   Right now the only sign of Christmas is our advent calendar.

How in the world is it December already?  I guess that means I need to go dig the Christmas tree out of storage and figure out where it might fit in our apartment.  It didn’t seem so huge in our house but it will take up significant space here.

Blog World was a little quiet this weekend after NaBloPoMo ended.  I guess everyone was enjoying a weekend off.  My weekend was very quiet.  I watched a lot of bad movies on TV and read.  I didn’t even touch a computer from Friday evening until Sunday afternoon.  Call me potato.  I was so sedentary that by last night I couldn’t stand it anymore and had to go work out.  Normally I don’t enjoy exercise – I do it because I should not because it makes me feel good (I really am a potato at heart) – but it actually felt good yesterday to get moving after being a lump for 2 days.

Miss Sabrina walks a little more each day.  She is starting to make me nervous because she is learning to open cabinet doors and wants to investigate.  Our cabinets don’t have pull handles or knobs on them so I can’t get the child locks that go over the hardware and since we are in an apartment, I really would rather not install safety locks inside the cabinets.  So I either need to move things or never let the child out of my sight.

We also tried the Christmas card photo shoot again with mixed results.  She immediately started to cry again but I managed to get a couple of smiles when I brought out her favorite singing stuffed animal.  I’ll share the photo we are going to use after I’ve sent the cards out (friends and family need some surprises…it is hard to have conversations when they have already heard everything going on in my life because I’ve blogged it!)