This was this scene this morning as Grandma left for the airport:

Both Angus and Sabrina were quite sad to see her go.  I’ve heard “Mimi?” (Sabrina’s closest attempt at Grandma) no fewer than 437 times this morning.  We’ve had several meltdowns – twice I just looked her way and she crumpled to the floor sobbing.  Sabrina has enjoyed all of the individual attention from Abuela and then Grandma and is now trying to cope with it just being frazzled, tired Mommy in the house.  Mommy is trying to juggle the needs of both girls so that no one feels forgotten without teaching them that whoever screams the loudest gets my attention first.

Grandma taught Sabrina to say “my, my, my” with her hands to her cheeks – too funny and cute:

And Tessa has checked out her bouncy seat now that there are 2 fewer hands in the house:

Grandma and Sabrina enjoyed some shopping at the mall yesterday while Tessa and I went to the doctors.  First, she saw her pediatrician.  After our 1 hour and 45 minute wait last week to see him, I was steeling myself for another long session of walking and bouncing to soothe Tessa.  I was pleasantly surprised to be in and out in less than an hour this week.  She is almost back to birth weight (6lb 11oz) so she is gaining a little more than an ounce a day which pleased him.  We’ll go back for another weight check in 2 weeks just to be sure.  Her jaundice is just about gone completely and all of her initial blood work looked good.  Then we went to my OB for a quick check of my incision.  All was well in that department too.  She wanted to be sure that I was coping okay emotionally.  I assured her that I get quite teary now and then but it is a “OMG, she is too sweet and perfect” or “Sabrina is going to need therapy because I’ve been ignoring her for 2 weeks” teary rather than “I’m going to cook my kids in the microwave because I can’t take it anymore” teary so I think we are good so far in that department too.  (That is not me making fun of PPD – I take that very seriously and am hopeful that I won’t have to deal with such a difficult thing.  It is very real and very scary.  So stand down – no hate mail and flaming comments necessary.)

Top 10 best things about not being pregnant anymore

10. Bending at the waist! You don’t understand until you lose the ability. I no longer cry a little when I drop the soap in the shower. I can clip and paint my toenails with ease. And if I felt alert enough to trust myself to put a sharp object to my skin, I could shave easily too.

9. The hope that some day I will again be able to wear cute shoes and pants without elastic.

8. Not having to pee twice each hour. Sometimes I hold it now just because I can.

7. I may not get a lot of sleep but between feedings, I can lose consciousness sleep without pain and turn over without thought and planning. And? I can sleep on my stomach if I want.

6. Booze. In theory at least, I can have a drink again. I haven’t but I will one of these days. If I can stay awake. And sushi is on that list too.

5. People have stopped telling me their terrifying birth stories. Why do women feel compelled to tell the most horrific birth stories they’ve ever experienced or heard when they encounter a pregnant woman?

4. Coffee. With caffeine. ‘Nuff said. (Oh hush…it’s only 1 cup a day and I’m not giving it up again so quit your nagging internet.)

3. No one expects much from me at this point. I have a newborn and a 2 year old so people cut me a lot of slack. Lower expectations mean that I can often exceed expectations with little effort (look! She showered and fed herself and doesn’t have any spit up on her shirt – wow, she has it all together!).

2. Not one person has gone spelunking in my uterus since I left the hospital.

1. Boobs – I have them. Who knew? The rest of me may look like crap but my boobs look pretty darn good. I like to think they distract people from noticing my scary dark circles under my eyes. It is a shame I can’t keep them but I know they are loaners.

Everyone in the house, with the exception of Tessa since I provide her with food every 3 hours, has decided they have no need for mommy anymore. Grandma is it. Even the dog thinks so. Apparently mommy isn’t doing such a hot job of juggling exhaustion and the rest of the family.

Grandmas are supposed to be the favorite person in the house when they visit, right? Poor Sabrina is going to be quite unhappy to find she is stuck with just mommy again when Wednesday afternoon rolls around. And mommy is going to be sad to find that she is flying solo with the girls and therefore unable to nap a bit after Tessa only allows her to get 3 hours of sleep at night. But we will figure out how to juggle it all soon enough I suspect.

Sabrina is still quite curious about Tessa despite wanting very little to do with mommy right now.  She seems to have worked her way around to being rather mad at me right now.  I’ve been expecting it but I can’t say that having my girl completely reject me (refusing to come to me, refusing kisses and hugs, reaching for Grandma not me, going out of her way to not play with me, etc) doesn’t bother me a little.  Normal?  Yes.  But I don’t have to like it.

And Tessa is already learning to dislike it when this silver thing comes out and flashes in her face.

I have about 5 posts started in my drafts file and will find the brain capacity to finish at least one of them soon.

It looks like Tricia is giving away one of the shirts from Pilarina’s Boutique.  Go check it out if you are interested!

I’ve seen several stylish toddlers modeling this season’s hottest t-shirt trend from Pilarina’s Boutique so Miss Sabrina wanted to join in the fashion fun:

Work it girl! (That is the Guatemalan flag for those not in the adoption corner of the blogosphere.)

Grandma is in town so we are seeing lots of smiles and laughs:

And Miss Tessa’s belly button stump fell off so she had her first bath. She threw much less of a fit than her big sister does about bath time.

And Grandma (Steve’s mom) has declared everyone wrong.  She says Tessa doesn’t look that much like Steve and says she was there so she knows.  Ha.

I am still here…lurking around the net when I can but usually only with one hand so comments are sparse.  I owe many thank yous for gifts and I try to respond to commenters who are new or those I don’t hear from often but all of that has been put on the back burner.  Please know that I appreciate all of the comments, well wishes and gifts more than I can say.

I hope to do a post soon where I can actually talk about something more than how incredibly over the moon in love I am with this tiny baby – but so far haven’t had the time or brain capacity to do so.

Tessa had her first doctor appointment yesterday.  She is down to 6lbs 2oz so our assignment for this week is to get her back up to birth weight.  She also has some jaundice but the test revealed the level didn’t require any medical intervention…it should clear up on its own soon.  Although the doctor did say we should call if she turned pumpkin orange.  Thanks for the tip doc, I might not have called if you hadn’t suggested that was a problem.

I’m going to try and get some sleep.  I actually got about 6 hours last night (not in a row of course) so things are getting a little better in that department.

I’m still trying to figure out how to give Sabrina the attention she needs and deserves and feed Tessa when the mood strikes (much like inutero, the mood strikes often) while occasionally getting a little sleep myself so some photos until I finish writing a couple of posts I’ve been tossing around.

Abuela left this morning.  Sabrina is very sad – she had a great time with “Abella”.  Abuela did manage to spend a little quality time with Tessa too.

Sabrina is still not sure what to think about Tessa but she always wants to know where she is what she is doing.  She usually then wants to pet her head like she does the dog’s.

Daddy steals some time with Tessa on the rare occasion that mommy puts her down.

Tessa has a good stack of sleepers and clothes but little that actually fits her since she is such a little peanut.  A friend sent this tiny little sleeper and it fits her perfectly.  The little ballerina slippers on the feet just make me melt.  Seriously, I held a 5 minute discourse last night on just how intensely cute her little feet were in this sleeper.  Steve laughed at me and walked away muttering something about hormones and evolution working perfectly at ensuring the continuation of the human race.

I feel like I’ve been checked out of reality for the past 4 days – existing in a hazy combo of discomfort, joy, and contentment with a few drugs thrown in.  Is there a better feeling than watching a newborn snuggle in and fall asleep on your chest?  As much as I am ready to go home, I’m going to miss this little bubble of suspended time spent bonding with Tessa.

Sabrina and Abuela came to visit again yesterday.  Sabrina isn’t sure what to think about all of this and I don’t think she will until we get Tessa home and it becomes apparent that she is there to stay.  She is curious about Tessa but jealous that daddy was paying attention to someone else (she hit Tessa in the forehead just after I snapped this photo).  I got nothing more than a wave and a “Hi mommy” when she came in.  So much for my baby missing me while I am gone!

I agree with all of you who said Tessa looks like Steve.

Miss Sabrina has had a grand time with Abuela.  The child, who refuses to learn simple words like “up”, began saying “Abuela” pretty clearly the second day my mom was here.

The plan is for Tessa and I to be released sometime this morning or afternoon.  I’m waiting for my doctor to do her rounds so that I can try and get a time table on that.  Momma is tired of hospital food – I’m seeing a Starbuck’s in my future.