Archive for October, 2008

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Tuesday, October 14th, 2008

The girls both had doctor appointments yesterday.  I had to hold them both down for shots.  Sigh…it is just wrong to make a momma do that to her babies.  Sabrina is just shy of 24 lbs. Tessa is up to 10 lb 4 oz.

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I think January was my last haircut.  I got my hair cut at the paint your own pottery place here in town.  Did I mention our new town is rather rural?  The paint your own pottery shop has a little corner room with a sink and mirror and chair.  The space is smaller than my walk in closet.  The stylist did a good job but I forgot my northern to southern dictionary.  When she asked if I wanted my highlights to be subtle so people didn’t really see them or noticeable I answered noticeable.  Up north if I said subtle, I would end up with so few highlights I would end up wondering why I had spent an hour in the salon.  But apparently “noticeable” in southern hair negates the word “highlights”.  My hair completely changed color.  I like it – it just takes a little getting used to.  I haven’t been this blond since I was a child.  And she cut off about 7 inches of hair…so Steve did a double take when I walked in last night.

Before (I’ve been wearing it up because there has been no discernable style for the past 6 months)

After (please ignore the spacey look on my face – it was getting late and I was tired)

The woman said I had “Marcia Brady hair”.  What in the world does that mean?

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Steve and I had our Big! Night! Out! while my mom was here.  We found ourselves at dinner talking about various aspects of changing Sabrina’s diaper.  The subject was promptly changed.  We both had 2 drinks and didn’t have to color on a menu with or cut up food for anyone.  I don’t think the restaurant even had crayons.  The movie was cute but most importantly was watched uninterrupted.  We were home by 9pm.

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Tessa is a sweet baby but we call 7 – 9 pm the witching hours.  She often cries inconsolably.  It is a little frustrating and very heartbreaking to hear her wail and be unable to soothe her.  Describing Tessa’s evening fits, the doctor declared it was “classic colic”.  Colic had crossed my mind but I figured it had to be much worse to be colic.  We had friends with a colicky baby and when they described it years later it sounded so miserable that I couldn’t believe they had gone on to have more children.  Tessa’s must be mild.  Not fun but certainly not as horrible (knock on wood) as I’ve heard other parents describe.

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Last night, I went out for 2 hours to get my hair done.  This weekend I will leave for most of Saturday to attend Blissdom ’08 (I believe there are still a few seats if anyone local is interested).  It is a little frightening to me how foreign and luxurious it feels to leave the house alone.

Reality

Friday, October 10th, 2008

I remember when I was planning to become a stay at home mom.  I was searching for some hobbies because I didn’t want to get bored.  Bored!  Isn’t that cute?

Reality is that it is Thursday night and I’m finally giving up on ever reading the Sunday paper so I am throwing it away.

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Steve and I are planning a night out to celebrate our anniversary while my mom is in town this weekend.  We thought perhaps dinner and a movie.

Dinner and a movie used to be a pretty normal Saturday night.  Now it is a BIG! NIGHT! OUT!  And we realized while talking about it that we would have to eat with the senior citizens at the early bird special in order to catch a movie early enough for us both to stay awake through the whole thing (i.e. make it home before 10).

Another one flew by

Thursday, October 9th, 2008

Happy anniversary to the love of my life!  It is hard to believe you haven’t always been a part of my world.

The bench where we had out first smooch.

And the first photo of us together.

And our family now:

I don’t know how we got so lucky to find each other and then have these beautiful girls but I am thankful everyday for our family.

Comparison

Wednesday, October 8th, 2008

I got Tessa’s bumbo out last night.  It was her first time in it.  She looked so cute – it made me think of the first time Sabrina was in her bumbo.

Tessa in her bumbo at 2 1/2 months old:

Sabrina in her bumbo at 3 months old:

and another just because her face cracks me up:

I forgot that she ever had the many chins.

Bloggers and kiddos and bears – oh my!

Tuesday, October 7th, 2008

How lucky am I?  I live in the same area as so many cool bloggers!  Yesterday, I got to hang out with Malia, Lotus, and Alli – neener, neener, neener.  And!  We all took our cute kiddos to the zoo.

Sabrina was so much more fun at the zoo than she was last year.  She was making animal noises and she was quite enchanted with Alli’s older boys.  The trip to the zoo instilled some sense of urgency surrounding the purchase of a double stroller.  It was a little warm to have Tessa strapped to my chest for 3 hours.  But it was a nice morning.  I so rarely get to hang out with other moms that I like so much!

Lotus was crushing on the babies:

Sabrina is so serious until she feels comfortable with new people/situations:

Sabrina and Braden both had fun meowing at the Meerkats.

Sabrina wanted to do sit ups because Alli’s son was doing them. (Her boys are great with other kids!)

And a gratuitous photo of Tessa from the weekend (although Lotus does have a couple of her from yesterday on her blog)

6 random weekend things

Monday, October 6th, 2008

Tracey tagged me last week to do a 6 random things about me meme.  I’ve done that a couple of times (but am too lazy to find them and link) so I’ll just do a 6 random things about my weekend.

1.  I spent a large chunk of the weekend obsessing over double strollers.  I thought I had chosen one and then today saw the runner up in person and am waffling again.  There is a site that I found the first one on sale so price wise they are the same.  But I like them for completely different reasons.  Why can’t there be one double stroller out there that meets all of my needs but doesn’t cost as much as a Yugo?  Whichever I decide, Freida this is your gift so thank you!

2.  Steve actually said to Sabrina while grocery shopping “Do you want provolone or muenster cheese?” and then felt that she was qualified to make the distinction.  “Do you want cheese?” sometimes earns me a blank stare.  I certainly don’t get into sub-categories.

3.  Steve and I both took naps on Sunday – it felt positively luxurious.  Then we watched the Steeler’s win.  Probably couldn’t have gotten much better.

4.  This was actually a couple of weekends ago but I thought it was brilliant so I had to share.  We went to a restaurant and got the normal kids menu and crayons BUT these crayons were obviously designed by a mom:

Triangles!  I didn’t have to pick a single crayon up off the floor.  Seriously why aren’t all crayons triangles?

5.  We went to the local country ham festival.  It was disappointing. I miss festivals – my area of Ohio had them all summer long.  My arteries are probably happy at the lack of DiRusso’s sausage and fair fry stands festivals here in the south.

6.  The official rules for the Washer Pitching Contest (the things that go on bolts not the things that wash your clothes) were published in the paper.  Yes, it is apparently a sport here.  We mocked them all but the one that made me laugh the hardest was “No spitting within 5 feet of each washer pit”.  I love the south.

October is…

Friday, October 3rd, 2008

Domestic Violence awareness month.  Have a seat.  I’m comfy up here on this soapbox.

We all know that October is breast cancer awareness month – everything is pink, there are walks, television spots, pink ribbons are everywhere, etc.  I think that is fabulous – it is an important issue for women.  We should all be educated so we can protect ourselves.  But I’ve always been a little bothered by how completely it overshadows a dirty little secret that lives in all neighborhoods: Domestic Violence.

I’ve had private conversations with several of you about how domestic violence has touched our lives.  It used to be a cause I was passionate about.  Then I found myself on the wrong end of a gun in my bathroom and suddenly I realized I was a victim to the very thing I had spent almost a decade educating others about.  So it really can happen to any one – even someone who spent years being an advocate and educator for other women.  It sneaks up on you even when you know the warning signs.  For an educated woman like me, it took a gun to my head to make me see the whole truth.  Don’t ever think you or any one else you love is immune.

Domestic Violence can have many forms.

There doesn’t have to be a gun to your head in order for abuse to be part of your relationship.  It is about control.  It might be controlling the money or controlling outside relationships or controlling movements.  It is also about fear.  It doesn’t have to be physical fear.  It can be as simple as fear of the argument that will follow if you do or don’t do something.  (Not because you just don’t like to fight…but because the arguments turn ugly.)

And it follows a very predictable cycle:

Everything starts out all hunky-dory.  He (I’m using the classic male as the abuser and woman as victim pronouns but it can be any domestic relationship) sweeps you off your feet.  He is sweet and wonderful and attentive and romantic.   Often the relationship gets very serious very quickly.  Then the cycle begins.  The tension building phase is that period of time when you are walking on egg shells.  You are doing anything you can to avoid a fight.  He is becoming short tempered and irritable.  Then the inevitable explosion.  It might be a physical fight or it might just be a really ugly verbal fight.  The tension has been released and he returns (sometimes quite briefly) to the sweet man you originally fell in love with.  He is sorry.  It won’t happen again.  And then comes tension building again.  The cycle can happen over a very short period or it can take weeks or months to move through the cycle.  As time goes by, the cycle tends to grow shorter.

Questions to ask:

1. Does your partner tease you in a hurtful way in private or in public?

2. Does your partner call you names such as “stupid” or “bitch”?

3. Does your partner act jealous of your friends, family, or co-workers?

4. Does your partner get angry about clothes you wear or how you style your hair?

5. Does your partner check-up on you by calling, driving by, or getting someone else to?

6. Has your partner gone places with you or sent someone just to “keep an eye on you”?

7. Does your partner insist on knowing who you talk with on the phone?

8. Does your partner blame you for his problems or his bad mood?

9. Does your partner get angry so easily that you feel like you’re “walking on eggshells”?

10. Does your partner hit walls, drive dangerously, or do other things to scare you?

11. Does your partner often drink or use drugs?

12. Does your partner insist that you drink or use drugs with him?

13. Have you lost friends or no longer see some of your family because of your partner?

14. Does your partner accuse you of being interested in someone else?

15. Does your partner read your mail, go through your purse, or other personal papers?

16. Does your partner keep money from you, keep you in debt, or have “money secrets?”

17. Has your partner kept you from getting a job, or caused you to lose a job?

18. Has your partner sold your car, made you give up your license, or not repaired your car?

19. Does your partner threaten to hurt you, your children, family, friends, or pets?

20. Does your partner force you to have sex when you do not want to?

21. Does your partner force you to have sex in ways that you do not want to?

22. Does your partner threaten to kill you or himself if you leave?

23. Is your partner like “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,” acting one way in front of other people and another way when you are alone?

The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-SAFE.

There are many websites you can find if you want more information but if you are in an abusive relationship please use a computer at a friend’s house or the library.  It is very difficult to completely remove evidence that you were surfing sites about abuse so using an outside computer is safest.


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