Michelle Smiles

Teaching my children to question authority, except mine.

Thank you Kossibitou

November18

I, of course, had to take our new photos of Sabrina in to work this week to show off.  I just love the one of her smiling and Steve was able to correct the coloring a little bit so it wasn’t so stark.  Everyone, of course, exclaimed she is beautiful. It’s amazing that some people at work who barely know me are invested in her story and wonder when she will come home.  There is already so much love and anticipation surrounding her arrival.  Our friends, our family, and some random acquaintances look forward to each update and hope for each step forward in the process.

My next door neighbor in cubicle world is a man named Kossibitou.  He is from Togo, Africa.  We’ve had several conversations about international adoption.  It is a foreign concept to him.  He said in his country, children are not adopted.  If they need a home, someone in the family or the village takes them in without another thought or formal legal process.  The village takes care of its own people.  He doesn’t understand why foster care is necessary in a rich country like the US or international adoption is necessary because in his experience someone always steps up and takes care of children.  But that aside, he keeps insisting that I have no idea how much I will be giving Sabrina by bringing her to the US.  He says that she will have so many opportunities and will be very lucky to be raised here. I’ve told him I’m not doing it for altruistic reasons and that she is bringing more to our lives than we are to hers.  He refuses to hear it.  He says we have no idea of the poverty in the world outside of the US and that we are doing a great thing.

We are adopting for mostly selfish reasons.  I will be the first to admit that.  But with all of the turmoil in Guatemala right now surrounding adoptions and all of the hate and disapproval from some factions surrounding international adoption, it is really nice to hear that someone thinks we are doing a good thing.  It is nice to hear that not everyone thinks we are selfish rich Americans buying children and stealing them away from their homes.

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