Top 10 things that might drive this SAHM insane
August10
- The soundtrack of mommy-hood. I always have some song rattling around in my head. It used to be AC/DC, James Taylor, or something else I heard on the radio. Now? The soundtrack of my days is a catchy little tune from Sabrina’s favorite toy of the day. Sung to the tune of Row Row Row Your Boat “Stir, stir, stir the soup…sing along with me…we can learn the alphabet, right from A to Z.” (Sound familiar Jenny? I know you have the same table in your living room.) Or in Winnie-the-Pooh’s voice “Rolling along, on our way, let’s learn together while we play…” (Sound familiar Amy?) Don’t get me wrong, we’ve worked hard to have the least annoying toys in our home – I don’t dislike any of them. I just can’t get them out of my freaking head!
- The whining. Oh. Dear. God. The. Whining. We have a beautiful daughter with an amazing disposition but some days? I want to poke sharp objects in my ears just to stop the whining. I start to wonder if she annoys herself sometimes because seriously – how could she not get tired of hearing it too?
- The same-ness of each day. Working in social work, the only thing that was predictable was that you couldn’t predict what would happen next. [Example – one morning, I had to return a stolen car to the dealership. That certainly wasn’t what I thought my day would look like when I got out of bed that morning. Again, Amy, sound familiar?] Sabrina thrives on routine. She isn’t rigid but our lives definitely go more smoothly when she can predict what will happen next. I don’t want her to bring home a stolen Camry but sometimes I want to do something a little different.
- The audience. Everywhere I go in the apartment, I have 2 faces staring up at me – the dog and Sabrina. I get something to drink – there they are. I start a load of laundry – there they are. I go to the bathroom – there they are. How many years until I get to pee by myself again? (They are 2 really cute faces…but…)
- Mommy Brain. I have always considered myself intelligent but lately I feel like I am shedding brain cells at an alarming rate. When Steve and I discuss something not related to Sabrina I find myself groping for the right words to convey my thoughts. I walk into rooms and have no memory of why I am there. I’ve joked about my neurotic list making but now they are a necessity. I say I want to make friends so I can talk about things other than poop and naps but I wonder if I still have the ability. Oh look, something shiny…
- Now that she is crawling, it is like having a small disapproving mother-in-law in the house. Every dog hair, scrap of paper, and crumb is discovered, picked up, and then handed to me. I have to vacuum every other day to come close to keeping up – and I should do it daily but I don’t.
- Dinner. I enjoy cooking most of the time. Now that I am staying at home, I feel like it is part of my job to cook dinner. This is totally something I put on myself – Steve doesn’t think that way (part of why I love him). But I hate coming up with ideas for dinner. I feel so uninspired – gee let’s have stuffed peppers again even though it is 99 degrees outside. I wish I was organized like Elle and made a weekly menu but I’ve come to terms with the fact that will never happen – just isn’t in my wiring. So Steve, don’t tell me you really like something unless you want to eat it weekly because I’m out of ideas.
- Being out of touch with the world. I don’t mean isolated in the sense of not seeing people whose butt I don’t have to wipe…I mean not knowing what is going on in the world. Is that little war still on in Iraq? Did I hear something about Lindsay being arrested again? When I worked, I always ate at my desk so I would read MSNBC or CNN during my lunch. I would listen to NPR on the way to and from work. I read Newsweek. Now? I don’t usually get a chance to read the news online. And I don’t want to watch the TV news while Sabrina is awake because she doesn’t need to see that ugliness (and I don’t want her to hear about the moron who is driving this bus *cough* W *cough*). By the night time news, I’m too tired to care what is going on outside of the fact that all is quiet in the nursery.
- Referring to myself in the third person. Why do we do this? It gave me a little thrill for awhile to refer to myself legitimately as mommy. Now I miss saying “I”, “me”, and “mine”. “Mommy will be right back.” “Mommy is right here.” “Don’t hit mommy.” “That is mommy’s flask, put it down.”
- Being ‘on’ all of the time. Sometimes I just want to sit quietly. I don’t want to expend the energy to make funny faces, talk in funny voices, clap at silly things, sing cute little songs, be a human jungle gym, cup my hand on a corner of the coffee table so no heads are bumped, or come up with a funny game to make anyone laugh. Don’t get me wrong, I love all of those things. I am thankful for each day that I get to spend at home with my daughter and wouldn’t trade it for the world. I would hate to sit in an office pretending a meeting was as important or as interesting as any of those things. But damn do I love nap time. Now where did Mommy’s flask go?
So. There. With. You. We’re having one of those days today. Please just kill me now or at least get me some ear plugs. Oh, but LOVE HUGS AND KISSES to whomever it was that responded to your sippy cup post with the throw away kind idea. I got some and they WORK! What joy! What rejoicing!! What fewer spills!!!
Oh, I could have written this. Except for #6. My daughter has never ever handed me something off the carpet. It all goes straight down the hatch. She is not discerning.
p.s. I love the happy, beautiful photos.
Ditto, right down to the FP table. I use http://www.allrecipes.com to help me with ideas. I have no imagination at dinnertime. Going back to work part-time helped me with outside contact and civilization. But now I spend 3 days a week wondering if she is learning more in daycare then with me. Sometimes I think Alexis gets bored with me too. Thanks for always saying the things I want to say but never do.
Amen sister…that’s why I had to go back to work part time. I was going insane slowly I think…haha. Now we pay someone to be “on” all the time..hehe. I actually missed dressing up every day. Never thought i’d say that!!
You crack me up!!! I need my flask today, also. 🙂
DH and I have had the “Clean it Up” song by Laurie Burkhart in our heads for the past week. I’ll hear him whistling it in the shower.
I also can’t stand the whining. Teaching Alex sign language has really helped with this. For the most part he can tell me what he wants/needs.
I also agree with working outside the home a few days a week helps. There are days (mostly Mondays) that I wish I was a full time SAHM – and then there are days (mostly Friday afternoons) when I’m glad I don’t have to do this everyday.
Alex learned his body parts and how to snap his fingers at daycare. Part of me is happy that they are doing stuff like that with him, but then shouldn’t I be the one to teach him that stuff? (ok, sorry – kind of got carried away!)
Great list! I can relate. I few months ago I was getting into a real funk about the sameness and the routine.
But I’m learning to embrace it and celebrate my new “job” more and more. Just like any other major life change it takes awhile to find your stride.
As far as the menu thing goes, I heard the advice to write down the dinners you cook for two weeks. At the end of two weeks you have a menu plan. You can still alter it and try new things, but it gives you an idea when you dont’ know what to cook.
With the heat I have NO desire to cook at all though. Can’t we just have cheese and crackers for dinner?
Oh my.. I definitely could have written this post. Only, I couldn’t have because I’m not so creative. See why you need to keep blogging???
The whining??? Some days I have to admit, I’m not sure which of us will be the one to die…
I am tired of coming up with dinner ideas that don’t involved something already prepared that I just put it the oven. The problem I have now is that I have a permananently affixed object hanging off of my legs the minute I step into the kitchen. Why is that???
I was just searching for casserole ideas today. I like to stick to one-dish meals these days.
And I chuckled at Sabrina handing you every piece of dirt and hair. Gabriella can spy a kitty fur tumbleweed from a mile away. She points and makes quite a scene and then brings it to me. How nice.
dood, steal my menus. That’s why they are there. I’ll send you all of the recipes if you like. I have a few staple dishes that I make on a regular basis and just rearrange the menu each week. Not that hard. I do it so I don’t have to make a gagillion trips to the store each week. I hate the grocery that much.
SO TRUE AND SO WELL PUT
number ten is what kills me 🙂
the constant GO YOU!!!! for emma….
Amen, sista! My mommy resume boasts 5 years experience, and I still don’t have the answers to this well described Top Ten. I recently complained to my hub that, as much as I LOOVVEE being a SAHM, I am interested in renegotiating some of the terms of my employment… at the top of my list of demands: personal days. “Mommy” just needs to go buy some underwear without the audible and overly inquisitve questions of a five year old!!
PS- Our state has this great “Make Thyme For Dinner” place…. I made 12 meals in 2 hours and popped them in the freezer… you should check to see if your town offers this type of place. You can literally check your brain (or lack of these days) at the door!
Sounds like a lot of fun!! I can hardly wait to join. LOL
Gail
i’m back at work 3 days a week and after an hour and a half i’m ditto on all of it (except #6 my kid is a dust ball/garbage eater too). hmmm, is this why hubby is home and i am not?
you are too funny!
I don’t think you will ever get to go pee by yourself again… Unless you have a VERY good set of ear plugs… so you don’t hear the door being knocked on, kids whinning, or hubby’s asking where you hid your flask! (cause his was empty, apparently you already found it)
Anyway… I love your lists!
OMG, you JUST described my life TIMES two and don’t get me started on the teenagers too…………….. It’s pretty sad when even your neighbors say hey could you quit “jiving to the Barney song”!!!! Ok, most of the time I feel like a wonder mom getting through all the poopy diapers (yea, got the teething thing going on TIMES two), get the baths done, get the breakfast and lunch down, and PRAY that by some miracle, they might even NAP at the same time and ohhhhhh what I would do with some QUIET time with them napping! And for dinner, mine is “where do ya want eat from honey” or “what can we throw in the oven from the freezer”!!!! And now if I could get my 4lb poodle baby to learn that he doesn’t need to be “velcro’d” to mommy’s lap. OH and this is all new to me as well as I have always worked outside the house for the past 20 years!!!! But then again, we are truly blessed to be able to be home with our little ones!!!!
You always crack me up!!! I so appreciate that humor 🙂
Rhonda
And now you know why I still work full time. I love my kids enough to take them to daycare so that we all don’t go crazy!
Loved this post, Michelle. Gabriella has been home for a week and a half and I can relate to each one. I read them all to hubby and my in-laws! Lori
Exactly how I feel at the end of my days at home with Pepito. And ditto Gibb – why I go to work! I think I saw a onesie somewhere… “Mommy drinks because you cry.”
Oh dear God. This is me for the past 5 weeks (but with my regular workload only FROM HOME!), except with a 5 year old (the whining!!!!!), and I feel like crap admitting in in blogland. I was not made to be a SAHM. I want to be. I wish I could be. If kindergarten was half day I would be. But I’m not. Don’t tell anyone my secret, okay?
Good gawd. You just described the last 7 years of my life. Brilliant post. Brilliant. 🙂
In response to your #1 – could be worse, it could be the song from Barney
I totally understand how you feel. I was off work for 16 weeks with our 2 and as much as I loved having that time to be with them, there were times that I tought that I would go crazy. I truely realized how much you become absorbed in mommydom when I started doing some work functions and returned back to work this week. It made me realize the plus and minus of working. I love my job. It’s a huge part of me, but I love my kids and part of me wishes that I could stay home with them. I thougth it was going to kill me when I had to leave them for the first day of work. I cried half the way to work. I’m glad that I’ll be able to switch my schedule to part time in another 2 weeks.
I think you’ve found your blogging niche again. (She says as the sound of a stuffed dog singing the ABCs AND Thomas the Train is blaring in the background.)
Too funny Michelle. I have figured it out though — I’m thinking that you’re eventually going into standup, not back to social work. 🙂 You know, I remember reading something about children’s books (or toys?) that have “kiddy” versions of classic rock songs. I’m going to research this. You might be able to have very-slowed-down versions of Led Zepplin-like nursery rhymes in your head. Can’t be worse right?
Michelle, you just totally described my life. Can you come on and do a guest appearance on my blog and post this. This is sooooooo Hysterical, but true and sad, but funny.
hugs – jules
Yup. Everything you said. You have got this mommy thing pretty much figured out, dontcha?
OH MICHELLE !!!! You should be getting paid for this blog. Again, another great post that we all can totally relate to, me as of 3 weeks ago. Your number 6 about the mother in law had me hysterical!! The twist on a baby finding things on the floor being related to a mother in law had me in stitches! That one was really priceless! Sometimes when I read your blog I feel like I’m at a comedy show! And number 9, I was wondering what was wrong with me for doing this??? I kept thinking I was in that Seinfeld episode about how Jimmy kept referring to himself in the third person. So glad I’m not the only one but…………….why do we do it?????
You so hit the nail on the head with this one!!!!!
Soemtimes I wonder if I will ever be a normal person again, maybe when she turnes 18!
I’m not a SAHM, but I could definitely relate to much of what you’ve said here! Mommy brain, the whining and the TOYS. I was just saying that I should have put on my son’s 1st B-day invitations “please no toys that sing, talk or make any noise whatsoever”.
Such a funny lady you are….I actually laughed out loud which is something I haven’t done in a good long while. My DH actually had to tell me to hush so as not to wake the baby. Thanks for the laugh.
I so relate to your thoughts. Especially the one about the tiny mother-in-law. I never knew how dirty my house was until now.
Megan