Michelle Smiles

Teaching my children to question authority, except mine.

8 days left

March21

First – new surprise photos this morning!

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Now with that cuteness out of the way, back to our regularly scheduled post.

Entertaining things to do after you tender your resignation (assuming you don’t need a reference for future jobs):

1. Lob small spit balls over the top of your cubicle wall into the cubicles of your most annoying neighbors.
2. Bring in root beer and ice cream.  At 2:30 Wednesday afternoon, declare it Ice Cream Social Hour and gather everyone in the kitchen area for root beer floats.  They will love you for it!
3. Talk loudly on the phone about the perks of your new job – make up some outlandish ones.  “Bob, you wouldn’t believe it!  We free health insurance that pays for everything and 8 weeks of vacation a year!”  Then spread a rumor that you got a 50% pay increase with the new job.
4. Take a 3 hour, 4 martini lunch.  Return to work and if anyone notices say “What are they going to do?  Fire me?”
5. Fill out an employee performance evaluation for your boss.  Be brutally honest.  Distribute copies to his/her boss and your co-workers.
6. Password protect all of your documents.  Hide clues around the office about what the password is – to be found only after you leave.
7. Switch the coffee to decaf.  After the withdrawal headaches fade for most of the office, switch it back.
8. Tell your co-workers that you put 2 random pens in the toilet and then returned them to the owners’ pencil cups.  Watch what happens.
9. Invite all co-workers to a lunchtime reading and literary discussion of ‘Green Eggs & Ham’.  Require everyone to wear black turtlenecks and berets.
10. Write all memos in Haiku form.
11. Take a stack of file folders filled with scrap paper to the shredder.  Give an evil laugh each time you shred a “document”.

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