Memo to the old man at Sam’s Club
Dear Kind Sir:
I tend to cut those from the older generations a bit of slack when it comes to asking politically correct appropriate questions. I know your generation doesn’t always think about the “right” way to phrase things. You seemed to be a nice man who was genuinely interested in my daughter so I continued to smile, if somewhat stiffly, when you asked “What is it mixed with?” after commenting she was beautiful. I explained that my daughter was from Guatemala and you said your daughter was considering adopting from Central America because she had spent a bit of time teaching in Costa Rica. However, I do believe I should expect some manners from your generation so when I answered your question about why we decided to adopt, I played dumb and answered the question I was comfortable answering – why we chose Guatemala. But instead of taking the hint, your reply “No I mean can’t you have children of your own or what?” led my smile to turn a bit frosty and my “Maybe, maybe not but we decided adoption was right for our family” was much more polite than what I was thinking. I hope if your daughter does adopt, she teaches you a better way to communicate about such things in public. And I’m sure she wouldn’t appreciate you telling random strangers in Sam’s Club that she can’t conceive.
But thank you for your interest in my daughter.
Sincerely,
The Young Whippersnapper who didn’t throw the 10 lb can of tuna at your head
Argh. Tell me this is not the same older greeter who wears the giant wooden cross around his neck.
If so, I totally understand.
frick
my first thought? CHRIS BOUGHT ME A COSTCO 10 LB CAN AS A JOKE.
next? Im so not even shocked anymore and ADORE the “mixed with” question. OOOOH the responses Id have come up with—about an hour later.
C.
Ugh. I love old people as a rule, but, ugh.
That is outrageous !!!
Don’t you just love how people feel it is their right to ask what ever they want? thank heavens the kids are too young to understand…
ACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God bless, Tera
I think a 20 pound bag of dog food would have been a better item to clobber him over the head with. What is it mixed with? I mean really.
OOOOOHHHH that’s gotta be one of the best ones I have heard in awhile. What’s she mixed with? UGH!
The one I get from the old fart club is “how could anyone give such a cute little thing away” I have given up trying to defend his BM and just say, we are lucky. As if parents decide to give their kids “up” because of their looks. OOOOOHHHH makes my blood boil.
that would have been a great time for Sabrina to projectile vomit–right at him.
thats a shame hopefully he treats his daughter with a little more sensitivity.
wowser.. That one surely ranks up there with the best zingers I’ve heard so far.
Good Grief! “It mixed with??” I think you were beyond polite. What is he mixed with..stupid and rude?
Yeah, I got the “is she mixed” at the tile store. We (the manager and I) had just finished a discussion about grout and could I mix it myself – so when he asked the sweet question (aka what does the man you sleep/slept with look like?) it didn’t register at first. People. Are. So. Tacky.
OMG. I’m cracking up at your memo. Not at the man’s stupidity. I usually cut the older generation some slack too… but I don’t know how much slack to really cut them – some of that is rude no matter what generation. My grandma uses her age as free reins to say whatever she wants – and it is annoying!
It? IT? Oh, puke. Uch.
Seriously, I work with 65+ every day, and no one has ever asked me anything remotely like that. I did have someone ask where K. was from because he doesn’t look like us (DUH!) but that’s been it. I think the IT part is what would fire me up the most. Holy cow.
Oh my!!! I can’t believe he said somehitng like that!!!!! What is he thinking??!!!
I would have hit him myself!!!
At least the stupid people give me blog fodder!
I love that your response was polite… and your attempt at redirecting was so mommy!… even through tight lips… you just have to believe that he was well intended and trying to connect b/c of the daughter… she will have her hands full “retraining” him! Has anyone thought of starting the book of “stupid things well intending people say”?????
Did you ask what he is mixed with? Perhaps 10% old fart, 20% a-hole, 20% insensitive, 15% clueless and 35% dumb ass.
I would have thrown the tuna.
Being older is no excuse for being a complete insensitve moron. I’ve always wanted to make a little card up that you can hand to people when they say stupid things to help educate them.
I think you handled it well, I am amazed at the things people say. I have 6 children-5 of whom we have adopted, they all look different-often people look at my husband and I and then do the scan through all our “faces.” We smile and remain silent *usually.
God bless you for using self control…it is a gift not many operate in!
Kimmie
mama to 6
one homemade and 5 adopted
*currently waiting on an adoption to Guatemala (that may go belly up?)
I can’t believe the nerve of some people!!!! Oh, my you handled it WAY nicer than I could even think of. I applaud your composure and polite response. If you run into him again, tho, and he quips something like this-grab the nearest and biggest can of anything and hurl it his way!!
Hugs,
Mel, aka Guatemom
I love Muriel’s response! Ugh, what an old ass.