Happy birthday to my sweet Tessa!  It is such a bittersweet milestone for me.  I am so proud to see her turning into a funny, stubborn, sweet little person but I am so sad that she isn’t my tiny baby anymore.  I’m also sad that I will never have a tiny baby again.  I never thought the tiny baby stage would be something I would miss but to my surprise I loved it.

One year ago today, at 8:52 pm central, Tessa made her entrance into this world.  My biggest memories from that day are a lot of waiting around, a bit of pain, “copious amounts” of fluid when they broke my water, being stoned off my ass after getting my epidural, and the epidural lady being mean.  It also stands out that Steve left the hospital 5 minutes before they decided to rush me down for a c-section and my panic until they found him, the discussion in the OR that some piece of equipment had stopped working and my conviction that it meant that my sweet epidural would wear off mid-c-section, the gasp and splash of blood when Tessa didn’t want to exit my nether regions and tried to avoid eviction, and the incredible relief and joy when we heard her cry for the first time.  I also recall my epidural wearing off minutes after returning to my room and shaking uncontrollably for almost an hour but that is overshadowed by the memory of my first night spent with little Tessa dozing on my chest.  Our birth day recap is here for anyone who is curious.

And today, Tessa is careening toward toddlerhood.  She does a few signs: more, bottle, eat, and all done.  She also waves and claps and throws her hands in the air if we say “So big!”. Her newest trick with making smacking sounds for kisses.  She says “mama” and sometimes “dada” but really is a mama’s girl so I get the privilege of hearing “mama” often.  (She lights up and often claps when I enter the room.  Good thing she can’t ask for a pony yet because GAH.)  She also tries to say puppy but it comes out “pupup” – she is fascinated with the dog.  She is on the verge of walking – she will do laps around the coffee table all day and will let go with a “Look ma, no hands!” look on her face before falling on her butt.  She has taken a few steps with the toy shopping cart but Sabrina honestly won’t let her play with it long enough for her to walk far with it.  She hates being confined in her exersaucer or highchair – she wants to be free and on the move.  She crawls so quickly that we jokingly compare her to a cock roach.

Tessa isn’t as easy to laugh as Sabrina was at that age but she is becoming freer with those laughs as she gets older.  Sabrina can make her laugh without fail – Tessa loves her big sister.  She still won’t eat anything with chunks so it is all Stage 2 baby food and bottles all the time.  We tried milk this week and she is completely uninterested.  She doesn’t want to drink out of her sippy cups – she only wants to chew on the spouts.  She has 3 teeth – 1 top and 2 bottom – and those suckers are sharp!

Tessa’s favorite things are screaming with her sister and spitting and making enough noise to make mommy’s head pound.  She and Sabrina will just start exchanging high pitched squeals back and forth – it is their favorite game.  Tessa usually starts it.  They squeal at each other and then giggle – the giggle makes me unable to stop them most of the time.  I love hearing them giggle together.  When not screaming, she will stand around blowing raspberries and soaking the front of her shirt.  She also like sitting on the entry way floor, which is a laminate, and dragging bowls over it which produces a high pitched screech – rather like nails on a chalkboard.  She also loves to crawl around with a book under one hand and steal her sister’s toys when Sabrina isn’t looking.  When she is tired, she sucks 2 fingers and with her free hand wants to hold my hand. If she is really tired, she sucks her fingers and wants to put her head in one of my hands. When she is tired, all things must stop and she must be put to bed – there will be no rocking, no singing, no books, just bed.  But she wakes up so happy in the mornings.

Every single day she makes me laugh.  And every single day I am overwhelmed by my love for her.

Happy Birthday my sweet girl.  You’ve enriched our family beyond what words can capture.