Michelle Smiles

Teaching my children to question authority, except mine.

Settle a friendly argument

July22

For 6+years, we’ve had a friendly debate going in our marriage.  I’m curious to see what others think.  I’m going to do my best to lay it out objectively so that you don’t know who is who.  And I’m going to use gender neutral names because “Party of the First Part” and “Party of the Second Part” might get confusing.

Chris and Pat are engaged.  For Pat’s birthday, Chris buys a cake.  Chris has the flu and sends Pat off to celebrate (dinner, gifts, homemade cake, general merriment) with Pat’s family.  Chris is at Pat’s place feeling a little sorry for Chris’s self due to illness and missing said merriment.  Chris decides to have a piece of birthday cake.  Pat saw the cake before leaving but did not have a piece.  Chris cuts the first slice, puts it on a plate, and covers it with plastic wrap.  Chris then has a slice. The next day, Pat sees the birthday cake has been cut.

Pat has maintained for 6+ years that Chris ate the first slice of birthday cake that year committing an egregious birthday faux pas.  Chris maintains that the first slice was cut, wrapped, and saved for Pat and therefore there was no birthday foul. Chris also maintains that the real first slice of birthday cake occurred at the birthday party with Pat’s family.

So blog readers, tell me.  What do you think?

posted under family
26 Comments to

“Settle a friendly argument”

  1. On July 22nd, 2010 at 10:45 pm Laura Says:

    I am no help. I won’t settle it. I will just tell that my family once ate my WHOLE birthday cake because we were coming back late from surprise trip my hubby had for me (and they knew about it)…and they just couldn’t wait for me to get home….
    I say the whole cake should’ve been save until Pat felt better.

  2. On July 22nd, 2010 at 10:58 pm Mel Says:

    Hmm, I say that while it was very nice of Chris to buy the cake (especially if Chris was already not feeling well), the birthday-person should always get to cut into their own cake and eat the immediate first piece. Plus we always have candle blown out before cutting it, so there was no chance for that here. I’m with Pat! 🙂

  3. On July 23rd, 2010 at 4:48 am Becky Says:

    Hmmm….Chris may have cut the first “official” piece of cake and saved it for Pat, but Chris in actuality ATE the first piece since Pat wasn’t even there. Birthday person is suppose to CUT the first piece in our house.

  4. On July 23rd, 2010 at 5:14 am Kim Says:

    Guess Chris should come live at my house. We have no traditions that the birthday person has to cut or eat the first piece. The whole scenario wouldn’t have been a big deal in my house. In fact, I don’t even think Jay or I have had a birthday cake for the last couple of years. 🙂

  5. On July 23rd, 2010 at 5:19 am Cass Says:

    I would side with Chris only because Pat was out enjoying cake on her own. Now if Pat were in tw shower and Chris cut the cake I’d cry foul.

    I also have a very low resistance to CIH cake in house so….I may bit be impartial.

  6. On July 23rd, 2010 at 5:44 am Krystal Says:

    We don’t have any kind of tradition about who gets the first piece, so I don’t know. Being a cake lover though, I kind of side with Chris. . . I mean, Pat was already having cake and Chris was at home feeling bad – a little cake might just help 🙂 Maybe I can make Pat feel better with this — a company that I used to work for would send a little box of “birthday chocolates” to employees through the mail. My husband didn’t just open the box and eat the first one, he ate ALL of my birthday chocolates before I even got home! (OK, so there were only like 3 in the box, but still they were *MY* birthday chocolates!)

  7. On July 23rd, 2010 at 5:54 am heather Says:

    Yeah that’s a tough one, but I’m pretty sure the cake shouldn’t be cut into at all unless the birthday person is there. And also if you stay home sick, eating cake isn’t helping the case that you actually were sick and not just skipping out! 🙂

  8. On July 23rd, 2010 at 6:24 am Julie P Says:

    Umm Chris cut Pat’s cake with out Pat being there? FOUL I say. I have no tradition about first piece and all that – but seriously, Chris buys a cake for Pat and then eats a piece without Pat. Not cool in my book, and yeah it would probably still be a “friendly” issue 6 years later for us too. And I agree with others that if Chris was too sick to go to a party then Chris was probably too sick to have eaten cake.

  9. On July 23rd, 2010 at 7:01 am Bobbi Says:

    Chris, you are in TROUBLE!!!!!! NEVER EVER eat cake without the birthday “person” No exceptions!!

  10. On July 23rd, 2010 at 7:19 am Mich Ma Says:

    If that’s all Pat has to worry about I would say Pat & Chris are pretty well off. Who gives a flying leap? They both got cake, right? Smile & be happy with the cake, first slice, last slice, who cares?

  11. On July 23rd, 2010 at 8:00 am cmtmdt Says:

    I have to agree with Pat. Chris should have NOT cut into the cake without Pat.

  12. On July 23rd, 2010 at 9:59 am Burgh Baby Says:

    It doesn’t matter who does or doesn’t get the first piece of cake. What matters is that you don’t EVER cut the cake without the birthday person being present. That’s just SOOOOOOOO wrong!

  13. On July 23rd, 2010 at 11:49 am Shannon Says:

    I side with Chris. There was a piece saved for Pat, and Chris was home sick. If Pat had been home or had just run to the store it would be different. But seeing as how pay was out partying and more than likely eating their first slice of cake then, I think Chris had the right to eat some cake too.

  14. On July 23rd, 2010 at 12:51 pm kelley Says:

    Hmmm…. I don’t think that a birthday cake should be cut without the birthday person there. Just seems wrong.

  15. On July 23rd, 2010 at 1:16 pm Melany Says:

    I think people think that you were PAT in this scenario. I disagree… I think you were Chris – sitting home, sick and eating a piece of cake. And I think it is FINE.

  16. On July 23rd, 2010 at 2:26 pm tonya Says:

    I think you must be Chris.

  17. On July 23rd, 2010 at 4:32 pm Abuela Says:

    Chris meant well…..but Chris should not have cut the cake. Not to mention that cake does not mix well with the flu and probably prolonged the recovery.

  18. On July 23rd, 2010 at 7:25 pm Gibb Says:

    If I’m home sick and there is cake I’m eating the whole damn thing. I don’t care whose birthday it is!!!

  19. On July 23rd, 2010 at 10:02 pm Iveta Says:

    Well. Had you agreed what jurisdiction would govern the eating of the cake? There. Next time…

    Without that, if I were Pat I’d be kind of ticked off he ate from my cake without me (did he buy this cake for me or for himself?) If I were Chris I’d think “no big deal eating a piece of cake”. Probably wouldn’t even think of cutting “the first one” and leaving it for Pat (what’s the proof anyway that the saved piece was “cut first”). Plus, Pat left me sick at home and went out to celebrate – OK with my encouragement but still, if we’re going to expect perfect manners of each other…

    So much for kindness and fairness and seeing the other side’s point of view. But really, on either side, it would have been long forgotten. The arguments of a great marriage…

  20. On July 23rd, 2010 at 10:52 pm Sonia in MO (FTC) Says:

    Too funny! Chris was home with the flu? Pat was out partying with another cake? That cake at home was fair game as far as I’m concerned…lol… being stuck at home sick always trumps birthday protocol in my book 🙂

  21. On July 23rd, 2010 at 11:31 pm Priscilla Says:

    Team Pat!

  22. On July 24th, 2010 at 7:19 am mamak Says:

    Clearly I’m the odd woman out here, but I vote party foul. The cake should be sung over and enjoyed WITH the birthday person.

  23. On July 24th, 2010 at 11:13 pm Stacey Says:

    I think it’s time to forgive and forget!

  24. On July 25th, 2010 at 10:24 am Annemarie Says:

    I am siding with Pat. If Chris wanted a piece of the birthday cake that badly he/she should have at least called and asked permission.

  25. On July 26th, 2010 at 8:31 am Sarah Lena Says:

    The party at fault is not the question here. The real point to be made is that the statute of limitations on Party Fouls is Five Years, so the foul in question is no longer valid.

  26. On July 26th, 2010 at 3:07 pm Regina Says:

    I don’t really see the big deal in the first piece of cake…at least Chris didn’t eat the whole cake!