Michelle Smiles

Teaching my children to question authority, except mine.

Blind Dates

July26

I am not a joiner. I’m not incredibly comfortable in social situations where I don’t know at least one other person. I can fake it but I don’t like it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-social. I love having friends. I love going out for dinner or drinks with a group of friends. I enjoy just hanging out with friends. But because I lived most of my life in one county, I knew people and it was relatively easy to meet new people that my people already knew. In Pittsburgh, Steve knew people and I liked their wives. I met people at work. I didn’t have any friends that I could necessarily call up on Saturday afternoon and say “let’s catch lunch and a movie” but that was mostly because they all had families and were very busy.

Now, I find myself in a new city where Steve and I know no one. I don’t have a job to help me at least make acquaintances. I haven’t seen anyone around our apartment complex over the age of 19 during the day. The mall here is a little sad but I think another mom and I were mutually stalking each other the other day but neither of us took the step of saying hi. Basically, I have to find some ways to meet some human beings who don’t require me to change their diapers several times a day. I have to actively troll for friends. It sounds rather pathetic, doesn’t it? But if I don’t, I could honestly live here for the next 12 months and talk to no one but Steve and Sabrina and clerks at Target. And honestly? The clerks at Target start edging away if you try to chit chat too much. They just aren’t that invested in our relationship.

So, what does a blogging momma do to make real life friends? Go on line of course! I found a site called meetup.com which is kind of like match.com for those seeking friends instead of dates. I signed up for 2 mommy groups, a chick lit book club and a jewelry making group. I figure between the 4 groups, 1 of them is likely to be okay enough to not make me want to snark to my imaginary friend through the events. (The first mom who rolls her eyes because I don’t make all of my own baby food using organic fruits and veggies? I’m going to spread rumors that she feeds her kids twinkies and lets them drink tap water.)

The first meeting was supposed to be tonight – the jewelry people. I got an email today that it was canceled due to illness and I was very relieved. I would much rather my first group be a mommy activity I think. That way I can hang out with Sabrina if nothing else. Wish me luck on my blind dates!

posted under nashville
10 Comments to

“Blind Dates”

  1. On July 26th, 2007 at 6:19 pm carla Says:

    I know I said to you that a friend said to ME the BEST thing about having a child is you never walk in anywhere alone

    that isnt why I love it but that sidekick chickenbus CANT BE BEAT!

    I oft whisper in E’s ear:
    mom feels really awkward. yes she does. this totally bites. yep. yes it does.

    (now that she’s a mimicker I dont say bites)

    C.

  2. On July 26th, 2007 at 7:15 pm Alleen Says:

    I am the same way, believe me. Once I meet you and know you, you may want to tell me to shut up. But until then, I’m painfully shy.

    My best friend(and Gabriella’s Godmother) is there in Nashville and seriously, she is the nicest, most outgoing person you’ll ever meet. I always joke that in any situation, she’ll leave with 5 new friends. She loves having girls’ nights to make jewelry too! So, let me know if you want me to hook you up on a blind date!

  3. On July 26th, 2007 at 7:28 pm Andrea Says:

    Boy, am I the same way! The only time my shyness really comes out is when I am in a new group of people. I tend to be really outgoing ONCE I’ve met you. I’ve lived here 8 years and most of my friends are either from work or church. I’ll have to check out this meetup.com!

  4. On July 26th, 2007 at 8:01 pm Debra Says:

    Even in a town with friends I have had trouble getting together with them. Most of my friends have older children who are not interested in baby stuff. The downside to being a late life mom. But I did enroll us in a mommy & me class at The Little Gym. Or check out Gymboree or Rolly Pollies. The first class is free, so if you hate you have nothing to lose. Plus it was a good excuse for me to get out of the house too.

    Blind dates aren’t a bad idea either. I met my husband that way.

  5. On July 26th, 2007 at 8:07 pm Kelly Says:

    Michelle, I know right where you are coming from…
    I’ve been in my new city a year and am still kind of a hermit…a hermit with three girls 6 and under!
    I am not brave enough for a blind date so I applaud you, you cool chick you. Let us know how it turns out!

  6. On July 26th, 2007 at 8:19 pm Lisa Says:

    Try going to gymboree group or kindermusic group. It’s a small circle of mommies and babies and you usually meet a ton of people. At gymboree they have baby music classes, baby sign classes etc. Just go to their website and it will tell you where the nearest locations are. I’ve heard mommies meet lots of people there.

  7. On July 26th, 2007 at 8:33 pm Ashley Says:

    Okay… I have been here all of my life and still struggle to make friends. I just do not reach out… and now that I have an entourage people either stare or turn the other direction.

    I would love to get together sometime, but I promise you will like me better when at least 3 out of 4 are in school/ mom’s day out.

  8. On July 27th, 2007 at 1:03 pm Tam Says:

    I am the same way. Actually, I take that back. I’m worse because I’d be too nervous to meet up with a bunch of women that I’ve never me before…which kinda defeats the whole purpose.

  9. On July 27th, 2007 at 3:11 pm mama k Says:

    sorry, I’m THAT mom in a group. I promise I would never roll my eyes at you though. LOL

    I’m curious to see how it goes for you. I’m just starting to venture out into the world of playgroups.

  10. On July 28th, 2007 at 9:41 am karen Says:

    I’m right there with you. I lived in my new city for most of my life, except the last 18 years, and I’m having trouble even looking up my old friends. (Mainly because my ex got custody of them in the divorce) Making new friends is hard.

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